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Before I thought that everyone had the ability to change who they were, and it just took a lot of effort. But when I asked someone if that's really possible the other day, they told me that no one ever really changes; they simply put masks on. And now I've looked back over my view. People may put on new masks, but some are permanent. It's like a quote I read on the bathroom wall in a bookstore once: "I've worn this mask so long, my face grew to fit it."
Maybe...people never truly lose who they were. Maybe they're just hiding it behind a mask. But if we're always changing masks, does a "true you" ever exist?

heh. sweatdrop it seems most don't. I just don't think that people can fully change, ya know?

I found a quote once that I think is very true. People wear masks in order to let their true selves shine, or something like that.

Like writers. Writers assume an alias in order to write something they wouldn't ordinarily write as themselves. In my case, I write under an alias because I don't think my folks would approve of or even really comprehend my darker writings.

Murderers- assuming a false identity (some have even refered to it as their true identity) so they can be themselves without fear.

Yes, some people may put on a mask to walk into a classroom and teach, which isn't their true selves, so I suppose it goes both ways. Still. It's something to think about.

Another thing - people tend to be influence by other people. If you're near someone who uses a certain phrase or line a number of times you'll find yourself saying it too. The more a person means to you the more their opinions matter and the more you're influenced them, even if it's just their actions.

My mother, for example, is a very practical woman. Thus I have been raised practical. But I suppose that could be dismissed.

So for about a year I watched a lot of MASH (we own it all) and every time someone waved at me in the corridor I sent them a half salute half wave thing. (I touch my forehead with the tip of one finger and then it turns more wave. I also tilted my head a bit.) Within a month all my friends were doing it and within the year random people in the corridor were doing it even though they didn't know the origin.

I've spread sayings about too. Again, these things could be dismissed, they're fairly light general type things, not huge personality traits. I believe another example is in order.

Every afternoon I sat on the bus for an hour with a realativly good friend (I didn't spend lunches and stuff with her but we were good friends all the same). One day she started talking about an arguement she'd had with a freind earlier. She said that she thought fighting with your partner and getting through it made it stronger, made it worth more. I disagreed.

Thus, a long debate. She had a fundamental belief that fighting for a relationship made it more valuble. That you had to fight for it in order for it to be worth it. I argued, I didn't believe that you HAD to have a fight/arguement in any kind of relationship in order to make it worth it. It took me the whole hour to figure out my own logic and then translate it into something she would understand.

So, this is how it came out. Love is basically friendship, yes? I mean it's stronger and all that, but you've got the same basics. She agreed. We've never had a fight, have we? No. Does that make our freindship any less valuble than a friendship you have with someone you've had an arguement with? (Insert dramatic pause while the cogs turn and she weighs everything up) ...No.

Love is a huge part of a person's belief system, and I changed a part of her veiw on it. But that could be argued as not being a part of her personality and thus she hasn't really changed. But changing someone's mentality really does change them, it changes their outlook and their actions.

It's happened to me (sorry I've moved away from the masks, but they can be used either way so now I'm looking at change in people and whether they can indeed change without putting a mask on). My mother said something to me (I've forgotten what) and it turned out very true and totally changed my outlook, and thus my actions. I changed, no mask, that's actually what I believe and that's actually how I behave.

What's more is that when you change a person's belief system it's so fundamental that they tend to forget or lose their old belief. The new belief is set so solidly inside that they can't even think that they might have once thought otherwise (but only in really fundamental things), where with less important beliefs they tend to remember what they felt or thought before hand and they possibly still believe a part of that as well as a new thing.

So yeah. Sorry, this got essay like without me even trying. Be interested to hear feedback. smile

Okay. So I've now re-written this something like three times, and every time it's come out muddled and totally incomprehensible.

I have seen people change on a basic level. It does happen, just not all the time. We've all heard stories of people beating drugs or alcohol addiction, and yet we've all also heard of people dying from drug overdose or alcohol poisoning or being hit by a car when drunk or some-such. So like the masks, it goes both ways. But it is possible for someone to change on a basic level, seeing as addictions can make a person pretty primal.

A 'true you': What's true to your friends and family: Your actions and words.
What's true to you: Your thoughts, memories and opinions.
What's true to someone you let in a little more: Everything you let them in on.

Everyone is going to percieve a different 'true' you. That's just how it is. My parents think I'm just a touch to foul mouthed and a slacker. My friends think I'm loud, yet the 'good kid' who keeps swearing at a minimal and doesn't smoke or drink. Most of my teachers think I'm a well organised polite teenager, but they wouldn't be in the least surprised if I was into the same stuff my friends are. My sister thinks I'm niaeve.

That's just how it is. They won't notice changes in you unless it's drastic (like smoking in class).

So in the end, everyone has a little piece of you that they know, and none of them can tell you individually who you are, but if you put them alltogether, they'll be able to point out your qualities with ease, and agree on the majority of them.

Your morals, for instance, shouldn't change between when you're with your parents or with your friends.

The true you isn't just the good, but the bad as well. Like when you're utterly exhausted and some kid won't quit bugging you and you snap. How you 'snap' defines a small part of you, what you say.

''Can you please stop it?!'
''Stop it! That's enough, I've had enough!''
''GET LOST, kid!''

So I'd say the true you isn't just how you're comfortable acting, but how you think and what your opinions are too. The true you also comes out in decisions.

You're angry, but you decide not to snap back/explode at the person being bitchy 'cause you know they've had a bad day. (My mum gets like that). That's a part of you, too.