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 Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 4:30 pm
Black Rose
Black rose amongst them all,
I shead a tear,
when your pedals fall,
So delicate and fragile,
Like my heart,
I just hope it won't fall apart,
I care for you so much,
So dear,
I can hear a whisper in my ear,
I love you so tender,
So much,
Then the whispers stop to a silent hush
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Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 4:49 pm
pretty good i enjoyed it don't have those kinds of feelings anymore but i can relate to it
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Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 5:56 pm
hmm...you could add a few more words in there to make it sound better, other than that it's perfect ^.^
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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 3:17 pm
You have a great thing going here, I read it a few times and it just got better and better. The only thing I would suggest to you is be aware of the rythm you use, and diction (word choice ) you can use to prevent any ailings in the syntax ( Arrangement of said words)
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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 3:35 pm
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Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2010 4:16 pm
Love it, it's amazing. heart
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