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 Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:00 pm
okay i want you all to be honset with me and tell me what you think about it and we can chat to
heart love heart
our love was as warm as a summer`s day
where did it all go in the night air
we came close on that faithful day in may
i miss the way the wind blew your hair
now when i wake up i have nothing
i miss you so much it isnt funny
you didn`t know but you were everything
now you left me all alone to die lonely
but i couldn`t wish for a thing more
you gave me the power to fall in love
i have this hole in my heart where you are
my love for you has always been like a dove
now our love is lost-gone throughout the skies
so we`ve said everything but the goodbies
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 6:29 pm
I like it, very well done miss lilaur! ^_^
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 6:47 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 6:51 pm
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Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 9:37 pm
Well I like it, but it's doesn't seem to have a rhythm to it (maybe cause you're missing punctuations? or was that intentional?) and I think some of the sentences are a little awkward (e.g. "now you left me all alone to die lonely"). IDK maybe I am not feeling well, and I am tired so it probably does sound right. Anyway I think it's very good, since I can clearly tell how you feel and since it's poetry that's all that matter, no?
Oh isn't that a 14 line sonnet?
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Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 11:24 am
yes indeed its a 14 line sonnet.
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Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 8:13 pm
Its sounds really sweet
me likey
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Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 1:35 pm
its cute! it really is so sweet
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Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 8:41 pm
thanks yumichan and zenwolf
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Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 3:42 pm
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