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Tags: Writing, Role Play, Stories, Poems, Fiction 

Reply The Library (Fiction Wing)
Murder Me? PLEASE READ(girl critiques only)

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Do you like my short story SO FAR? Is it "creepy"?
  I like it. But it's not creepy.
  I enjoy it, and find it creepy.
  I don't really care for it, in any way.
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Sayomii-chan

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 6:46 pm


{Of course this isn't it's official name that's still a work in process just like this short story here. I would appreciate some constructive criticism. Flaming criticism is a waste of time..I really don't want to have my eyes bleed from reading "i hate it" I have a poll for that sort of thing. If you hate it or like it you can let me know with your vote. And like it says please girl critiques only please}


Several sounds filled the air, spreading through the chill like a virus, infecting strand after strand carrying itself down a winding path. There were sounds of heavy breathing tied with sobs, thundering heart beats, and pounding foot steps. Waves of panic rushed though her, breaking her down ever so slowly.

Nearing the end of what seemed like a deep hole, rather than the stretched out hallway that it was, she whipped sharply to the right with such force her body was slammed against the joining wall. A dreadful pain filled her shoulder, moving slowly down the entire side, ignored by the very frightened young girl.

Several changes to the course were made, all with amazing precision each carrying her further and further. But her luck soon drew to a sharp and undesirable end, leading her into the first illuminated corridor she had seen.

Footsteps echoing off of invisible walls her appearance could be clearly observed, not that it was something magnificent. A petite thing she was standing no taller than 5'1" slim but not to much, her frame covered by ***(come up with an outfit)*** Brunet locks cascaded down hugging her upper torso in a tight embrace, while honey colored orbs looked this way and that searching for safety. With none to be found.



Lost in a Maze, running from something and as she runs she sees many strange things.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 7:31 am


i like it! But you should describe the pain she has a little more... but other than that... tell me when its finished!

amburrito97

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The Library (Fiction Wing)

 
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