Welcome to Gaia! ::

This isn't really much of a rant, but I'm complaining of the cruel and usual world of dishwashers. Whoever invented them should be shot, and whoever decided that dishwashing soap should not be used in dishwashers should be shot, hung, mummified and paraded around the world.

I'm not angry...just morbidly depressed...

I dont know how to deal with this anymore. I'm the "bottle your troubles" type of person- it would seem that my mere existance serves a purpose of comforting and loving others. This is a very interesting and ironic fact, because no one ever loves me. I have a million fair-weather friends (who are my friends because i'm good to them, not always vice-versa), and only a few close friends with whom I hardly ever have the time to interact.

You see, this would not normally bother me. I'm perfectly happy living this beautiful illusion of joy I have for myself fabricated. However- I seem to be feeling particularly vulnerable of late- perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I told my close friends and mother about my bisexuality (I really hate labels, I'm just a believer in "love is love").

Now that I have leaked this information my life is coming down around me, I feel evermore tired, evermore stressed, and evermore lovesick. Again, the irony is overwhelming- I'm not sure what it is, but not one of the people whom I have ever fallen in love with has ever shared those feelings. I've even lost one of the people I cared about the most in an effort to show him his faults so he would stop emotionally destroying himself. The fact is, I've been a martyr all along- I just absorb all of everyone else's pain and no one is there to comfort and love me when I am truly in need.

At any rate, on top of these abrasive emotions, I must juggle school and violin, both of which leave me a very small amount of free time. I'm probably getting addicted to the constant stress; I'll probably die of it.

I (wow, that pronoun has made such frequent appearances in this rant!) feel like I need to have a goog, long cry- but for some reason no tears will come, leaving me feeling sick with excruciating emotions.

Sorry for complaining at everyone- I've probably just given you all a terrible opinion of me. Sigh.

A hell of a lot of bubbles. One word - Dawn.

Well...if it's any consolation...I kind of might have nearly blown up our dishwasher...I forgot to turn the water on so after awhile I smelt some sweatdrop

*hug Triss* I like this guild more by the minute.

Erk! Some idiot asked me out again on AIM >.<, and he wouldn't leave me alone. Here's the rant:

Me: ...foh real?
Him: yeah
Me: No.
Him: whoo damn, you don't have to get all bitchy about it
Me: What?! I just said no!
Him: why?
Me: Do I have to have reasoning? No, no no! I don't kNOw you, either.
Him: b***h
Me: [block]


>.<

Aww *huggles* I don't understand how people can be homophobic, it just doesn't make sense to me, but neither does racism, so I guess we're just stuck with really stupid and ignorant people. sweatdrop