Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Jesus walked on water but Chuck Norris swims on land
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris only uses one chopstick.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd...no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and craps them out transformed into a robot.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis
One time chuck norris laid face down naked in a feild and his p***s struck oil
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in North Korea, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Chuck Norris can believe its not butter
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