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One That Walks on Four Claws *part 2 up*

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Velvet Sometimes

PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 10:22 pm


All right, so here goes nothing...

Part 1


The room is dark, illuminated only by the moonlight shining through open windows. The figure of a teenage girl tosses and turns on her stomach in a twin-sized bed. Pillows and blankets are sprawled across it and part of the floor. It is yet another humid night.

A draft causes the curtains of the double windows pressed against her bed to flutter. The small breeze lifts the papers on the table and scatters them across the room.

The crinkling of falling paper causes the girl to groan and open her eyes. (The sparse light turns her grey eyes white.) She lifts her head and looks over at the bedside table; a clock glowing blue reads “4 am” in blocky, digital letters. She runs a hand through her light blonde hair. A charm bracelet jingles from around her wrist as she moves her hand. The tiny crystal animal charms dangling from it glint, for a moment, in the moonlight.

She turns onto her side, curling around a teddy bear. Eyes half lidded, she looks out into her backyard watching the way the moonlight filters through the canopy of the trees to play in the grass.

Another gust of wind sweeps through the yard, flowing through her windows to gently comb her hair back. In the whisper of the wind she hears, “Nova”. Dimly, she finds the sound of the wind calling her name peaceful…

Her eyes widen and she jolts upright as a glowing body floats through the trees just beyond the range of her vision, looking vaguely like a lynx.

It glides closer, the wind giving it new shape and life. It is a man. Magic incarnate with russet skin speckled with stars, looking akin to a lynx’s coat. Eyes of pale gold glow with a light of their own, and hair as long and dark as the night sky… All of him appears luminescent- like fog, as he hovers above the ground, looking as if submerged in water, yet completely dry.

He raises a clawed hand and beckons. The wind once again whispers, “Nova”.

She needs no second summoning; she leaps from her bedroom window onto the dewy morning grass and jogs over to the figure, heedless of her pajamas and shoeless feet.

She stops before him, looking up to stare into his eyes as his hands come up to cup her cheeks. He was wearing a fond smile, like he was staring at a favorite possession.

“You mean to kill me don’t you?”

She asks this with perfect calm, one hand clutched to her chest, the other reaching up, a whisper from his cheek.

“I do.” His voice rumbles in the darkness; comforting and tranquil.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, just yet. I have too many important things left that I have to do.”

Her voice is regretful, for rejecting this beautiful creature.

“Are these things important enough to be unfinished business for your soul?”

“Yes.”

Her voice grows excited as she speaks.

“It’s my book… I have to finish it. I want people to see what needs to be seen. I want them to be moved; to actually feel what the characters’ are experiencing. I don’t want them to go about their lives without the echoes of my words in their hearts.”

“A dream into words,” he murmurs a hair’s breadth from her lips. She can feel his fangs ghosting over her skin as he speaks, and she sucks in a breath as he leans his head down to rest his forehead against her own.

“I am sorry, but I cannot relinquish your soul. But, my dear Nova, I can give you the gift of time.”

“I don’t know how long it will take; years maybe. You’re welcome to stick around until then… Promise me that you’ll wait to claim my soul until I’m done with what I need to do... and I will give it to you freely.”

Her words were a breathless whisper. Aware, yet sleep fogged, as if they were a dream.

“Done. “

And he sealed their deal with a kiss… at least, on the surface. He pressed his lips to hers and she could feel his fangs drawing her bottom lip in to worry between his teeth, until it was glossy red with her blood before biting his own and letting their blood mix. That is what sealed their bargain.

His lip healed in moments, as well as hers after a quick swipe of his tongue. His feet finally touched ground, and yet he still towered over her.

“Tell me. What is your name?”

“One that walks on four claws. But, you may call me a Lynx, my dear Nova.” His hand grasps hers, fingers weaving through her own in a way that makes her smile.

She awakens to birds singing, and the wind blowing softly through her room. The light of the midmorning sun rests on her face. She’s still curled around the teddy bear. As she raises her hand to rub her eyes, she notices a new charm dangling from her bracelet; a crystal Lynx.

Long, I know. I appologise.

Part 2


The classroom is like an oil painting. It’s filled with students of all colors and sizes that stand out in sharp relief against the white walls and wooden desks. Bright amongst their monochrome setting, their voices fade in and out like a choir.

A blonde head is bowed over a book, part of the kaleidoscope of individuals and yet remains separate. She is calm, steady as a cliff against the pounding of the waves of teenage chatter – and yet somehow she ignores the tumult of sound. The door opens, but the sound only dimly registers as she becomes more engrossed in her novel.

As if from far away, she feels another’s presence migrate toward her; but it’s not until the rustling of things being moved and the squeak of a chair being turned around that she realizes who is there. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a streak of russet skin and dark, shimmering hair, coiled back in what is most likely a braid.

She fights the hyperawareness coursing through her, attention vying between her book and his presence. She could hear his quiet, even breathing and the crisp sound of new pages being turned. She was about to give up the pretense of reading when the sharp clicking of stiletto heels alerts her to another. The newcomer parked the side of her very feminine rear on the edge of the girl’s desk, blocking her view of him.

“Who are you? And why are you in our class?”

The airhead quality of the other girl’s voice easily cuts across the classroom chaos.

“Well”, he glanced down at his schedule, “This says my name is Cole… and I am here, of course, to be with my dear Nova.”

A hand curls itself into Nova’s hair, twisting a lone strand back and forth between his fingertips, before bestowing a kiss upon it. She shifts slightly in her seat, head tilted a little more in his direction. “Stop it”, she murmurs distantly, eyes cast downward at the forgotten novel. He places a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth.

“As you wish”, he says, the smile in his voice obvious.

“Uh-whoa! Is she, like, your girlfriend?”

The girl’s words spill carelessly into the air, creating a pregnant silence as the other students stop what they are doing to listen.

“She is promised to me,” he states simply. The room erupts into whispers and giggling voices.

“A- Ohmigod?!”

Shock is apparent in her voice and is mirrored in the many faces staring at the odd couple.

“So , like, you’re engaged?”

He finally looks up at the girl, pinning her under his gaze. She shivers, drowning in a glow of gold and hazel as he mulls over her question. She feels frozen, caught like a rabbit staring into the eyes of a hunter and can’t bring herself to look away.

“You could say that.”

Nova raises her eyes to his own, warning clear within them.

“Claws…”

He turns his eyes towards her and sees exasperation and amusement hidden deep within them.

“Behave yourself.”

He leans back in his acquired chair, amusement twisting the corner of his mouth. His eyes glint knowingly at Nova, seeming inhuman for a moment, before growing warm once more.

“Of course, dear…”



And there’s chapter two. Go me. I must warn you that these updates will become in rather sporadically. As I have MOST of the scenes planned out, but I don’t ever write them in order. ^^; like right now I’m working on chapter nine, though I have no idea what I should use for chapter 3. Suggestions would be slightly helpful. As would feedback. I love this story to pieces and I wish to know if anyone else finds it even mildly interesting. So, thanks for reading, drop me a line, and chapter three will be coming… well whenever it comes.
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:15 pm


You need ta put up the rest.
I'm dying for mooooore.

Mother Of All Battles
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Velvet Sometimes

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:30 pm


I'm glad you like it. i'll only got the second part done after this. there are (supposed to be) 25 parts to it. give or take a couple
.
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:34 pm


User Image To write is to become disinterested. There is a certain renunciation in art.
- Albert Camus User Image


Pretty good. =o

It's missing a few commas that would make reading smoother, though.

And you confused me pretty good in the part where the guy shows up. First he looks like a lynx, then he looks like a man? Or does he show up like a lynx, then change into a man?

"It glides closer, the wind carrying it into shape and life."

Kinda sounds like the wind is just carrying him closer, not doing anything like changing his shape, to me.

But aside from that, your descriptions were decent, got the message across, and the story is interesting. =)
I like it.


User Image You have to throw yourself away when you write.
- Maxwell Perkins User Image

SoraKat

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Velvet Sometimes

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:37 pm


He was a lynx, but as he glides closer, he becomes a man. sorry, i really sould include an explanation. ^^;
And i'll go through and look for those places for commas
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:42 pm


velvet_sometimes
He was a lynx, but as he glides closer, he becomes a man. sorry, i really sould include an explanation. ^^;
And i'll go through and look for those places for commas
User Image To write is to become disinterested. There is a certain renunciation in art.
- Albert Camus User Image


I see. =) That make more sense to me.

It doesn't really need an explanation, just more of a rephrasing of words.

Instead of:
"It glides closer, the wind carrying it into shape and life."

Something like:
"It glides closer, the wind giving it new shape and life."
Or something of that sort would work.

Unless you really want to explain it more in the story. You could always do that, too. ^^


User Image You have to throw yourself away when you write.
- Maxwell Perkins User Image

SoraKat

Invisible Member


Velvet Sometimes

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:51 pm


That really works. ^^ Thank you.
Would anyone be interested in my putting up the next part?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:52 pm


User Image To write is to become disinterested. There is a certain renunciation in art.
- Albert Camus User Image


I'd like to see it. =o


User Image You have to throw yourself away when you write.
- Maxwell Perkins User Image

SoraKat

Invisible Member


Velvet Sometimes

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:55 pm


Should i post it on here? Expand the first post? Make a new one?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 2:00 pm


Maybe you could expand the first post, and make it seperate.
And change the title and maybe say "Next Part added" or something of that sort?

Mother Of All Battles
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Velvet Sometimes

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 2:12 pm


So part 2 is up.
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 4:24 pm


User Image To write is to become disinterested. There is a certain renunciation in art.
- Albert Camus User Image


Neat. =o
Didn't find anything wrong with it.
And it read quite well.

I know it's all in chapters and what not, but it seemed kinda separate from the first chapter. Like, not just the following day or something, but a completely different point in the story.

Could just be me though. ^^;

I liked it none-the-less. =)


User Image You have to throw yourself away when you write.
- Maxwell Perkins User Image

SoraKat

Invisible Member


Velvet Sometimes

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 6:36 pm


actually, your quite right. the chapters are just blips in thier lives together. It ends when she is an old woman. so rarely do they ever happen next day, or pick up where one left off. they are in order at least.
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 9:13 pm


User Image To write is to become disinterested. There is a certain renunciation in art.
- Albert Camus User Image


Oh. =o
Well that's different.
Neat idea, actually. ^^


User Image You have to throw yourself away when you write.
- Maxwell Perkins User Image

SoraKat

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