"Lying to Myself"
By Sarah
March 7, 2010

I have always said be true to yourself
But I broke my own rule
I said I didn’t have a crush on him
I convinced almost everyone that feeling was gone
Inside knew better that the words I spoke
For the most part I believed about what I said
But deep down the crush was still there
I was walking along side him one day
He mentioned that he had a girlfriend, I was shocked
I acted normal and showed that I was happy for him
Then when we reached the bus he sat with her
Left me hanging alone, sitting alone on the city bus
I started to feel sad and I didn’t know why until that night
I was listening to my music then it hit me
I was hoping that he liked me, loved me
Just like what my friend who looked past my lying words
I cried myself to sleep that night
My hope was lost in the shadows of the moon
The day after wasn’t any better
Someone brought up two good points
That I pondered upon all day along
She’s preppy and he’s not, it’s not going to last
He still might like you, even though he’s with someone else
I wouldn’t have survived the day without my friends
They tickled me, supported me,
Overall made me smile whenever I frowned
That night I cried myself to sleep again
Just to let it all out
The next morning I felt so much better
All I needed was a good cry
And to let it play out as needed
I still like him and I’m still going to hide it
But I know now that I can’t stop liking him in that way
Until we give our friendship more meaning
But until that happens I’m going to show a smile
And pretend it’s not hurting me a little bit
And walk away with my head up high