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Wolf Clan: Shadows of the Past. [PG-16/17]

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Ling of the Wolf Clan

PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 6:28 pm


Long ago, long before anyone of this world was born there was(and still is) another world. It goes by many names, but they all mean the same thing. Its real name means Gate, but none on that world know that. Rather they know the world by contenents. Khazdhul, meaning gate, is where the most beings live. It is home to the two living gods, the Wolf God Ulfr Valdyr and the Fox God Kitsune Vixen. As well as two gods that stayed in their heavenly places, the hunter god lord Leonidas Skadi Diana(yes that is one name) and the warrior god king of battle Sigmud.

Of the lands of Khazdhul there is Kislev, land of the wolven peoples. However some of the fox people will travel over the mountain for the tounement the two oldest beast gods hold every ten years. It is comparable to this worlds olimpics, except its more like those that the greeks held thousands of years ago. Humans are also often found here, seeing as the capital is found in Dark Wulf woods, a massive forest that is the birth place of the bi-pedal wolves. On the western boarder is the Moon Light sea... on the eastern boarder is an arm of The Guardian Mountains.

On the other side of this arm is Sumihon, home of the Fox beings. Though their queen is not as old as her wolf brother and their empire not as large, they are masters of defence. The nature of the terrain is a perfect defending postion. On their west is the arm of the Guardian Mts that only the wolves dare cross, on their east is the same mountain range that is impassable, for good cause. In the small entrace they call a gate is "The Foxes Shield" a moutain range that makes it so there is only two ways in and out... one on either side of where it breaks up into foot hills before the Guardian mts begain again.

To the south is The Empire, the largest human nation in this world. Nothing much here is important, but their boarders stop well before the Forests of Alata. A land area that is known for the famous Alatians, but I will get to that later. There is however an area that the Empire does not controll, its a place known as the Gates of Khazdhul... I will get to it later. On the east and west are the mountain ranges known as The Walls, and none have ever crossed them.

To the east of the The Empire, across The Walls, is Hluta. The home of the Hunter God. The place is larger than any other empire in the land and is home to the Elven kin. Dark or Light, wood or high, it doesn't matter to them. It is also home to the mythical races of this world(earth).

In the middle of all of these is a land that none claim because of what the gods declared long ago. These are the Free Kingdoms, and in the middle is a large mountain that somehow lost the peak. And straight down to sea level is nothing, but everything around it is mountain, straight up and down. There is a small pass to the middle, only one though, and this is the free kingdoms fall back plan.

The Gates of Khazdhul, however is the only base of that the alliance of the four main gods controlls as one. Although it is a base I count it as a nation, only because of its size. Massive walls span for miles across the mountain pass that connects Khazdhul to the Bad Lands(much more on those some other time) and is maned by some of Khazdhuls finest warriors. Chozen by the gods even.

And of all these peoples there is one small, new faction. They call themselves the Wolf Clan... and their actions are what I will follow. Their leaders are the not so known Thorwald Holgerson and Afshin... I never learned his last name, don't think he even has one. And then there is Ling, the misfit elf that thinks he is a human. Hates his kin because of Afshin and Thorwalds ways, they trained him to be an in your face warrior, not a panzied assed archer. The wolf clan claim allegaince to no kingdom nor god, but rather sell their advanced fighting skills for a place to stay and a drink or two.

And we will begain this story, with the entrance of Ling, of the Wolf Clan.  
PostPosted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 6:37 pm


So there they were, Thorwald and Afshin, walking down the road one day. Now they did this frequently seeing as they were mecanarys that worked for Caravans and other jobs, but this day was diffrent. As they were walking along they found the ruins of a caravan. Now as the two Mercs searched the rubble of the destroyed group they came to the concluson that ether Orc Raiders had attacked, or Draco Warriors had attacked.

Now Draco Warriors were a group of radicals that were serving a LARGE Ice Dragon named, Drakonsiz. The group was trying to elevate the Dragon to god like status... who knows why. But anyway, Thorwald and Afshin were picking through the rubble grabbing idems that had survived when suddenly Afshin took a deep, drawn out breath. "Thorwald, come here."

Thorwald, though he was wearing chainmail, took a while to reach Afshin... then he too took a deep, drawn out breath. At their feet was a young elf with fine dirty blonde hair, and wearing little more than pants. "Leave him." Thorwald said, Afshin agreed. When they made it back to Fairhaim, a town in the Free Kingdoms, they would tell of what they found.

However, as they were wispering about what to do with the boy, he awoke. He was unable to speak, which is never a good thing, but he could hear and understand them. As they turned to go he gathered the strenght to follow... which he did. The lad followed them until they grew tired and slept for the night just off the road. As the lad grew closer they pushed him away, even threatened to kill him.

Still the boy followed. When finnally Thorwald hit him with the blunt of his sword, and the sword made a dinging noise. They named him Ling because of it. When they reached Fairhaim Thorwald put a note on Ling saying this...

"Hello, my name is Ling, please take me home and feed me."

Ling, being able to remember little more than understanding speach at this point didn't understand the sign. But none took him. SOOO... he kept following Thorwald and Afshin. Over time he learned by watching them and others. He grew stronger through practice, for he wished to be as good as, if not better, than them and Join the Wolf Clan. And he trained day and night to become stronger, faster, tougher. One day he was reading the paper, it was just after a Draco Raid, and something outside was... off.

Thorwald rushed outside, but soon a large mass of people came back in, only the warriors were fighting, the rest running. Ling wanted to fight but Thorwald yelled at Afshin to get Ling, the three had grown close over time you see, and he did just that.

The two ran without second thought...

But now a war had started.(Which will be in much more detail than this part... I might come Edit it up later.)  

Ling of the Wolf Clan


Red-Queenie

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 8:24 am


The story sounds good but you need a lot more detail, especially in the second part. Don't be afraid to make it freakishly long or something. Also run this through spelling check because some things are off.
Continents, Olympics, border, begin, different, conclusion, items, whispering, strength. Also when writing directions (North, South, East, West) they are always capitalized.

I thought that the story was good but I would love to have more detail and know more about the travels with Ling. If your writing a novel it would actually be a great way to start out the first two chapters.

Also the back story could perhaps be explained through an introduction/prologue perhaps by a flashback into the two's past when their sitting in front of a story teller or something. Make it tie into the entire story a little better. You can also explain the terrain and area's as the story progresses, perhaps as they explain it to Ling.

Just suggestions, but I'm excited to read more. :3
PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 5:06 am


im exited to read wat u have next and very happy i could read this fine work of art.

bare_the_wrath_of_ELF

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