The Day Canada Took Over The World
Story
Of all the countries that could have taken over the world. . . Canada. Hard to believe, sure, but you cannot deny they had the element of surprise. I suppose you want to know how this happened? Lucky for you, I happen to know every detail!
One day, you see, the hockey playing, lumber jack, French Canadian by the name of Jacques was out riding his pet moose hunting beaver. As the tall, broad man hunted the wile beast, he pondered on how life in Canada had changed in recent years. How differently people dressed, spoke and acted. It nearly brought a tear to his man-eyes. . . He knew he would never change, but his family. . . He could not stop them. Pushing his worries to the back of his mind, Jacques reached his ten beaver quota and started off homeward bound. As he neared in tiny village, the sight of smoke and smell of burning ice triggered an adrenaline boost the likes of which he had never known!
Jacques kicked his heels into his trusty mounts sides and galloped into the village to find his igloo aflame. The red plain clad man leaped off his moose and ran inside to find his family all dead from asphyxiation. . . His son was too busy listen to that pesky rap music, his daughter had fell onto her keyboard wearing her stupid fake animal ears and his wife lay on the snow-couch watching a marathon of Gray's Anatomy. Collecting the bodies in his very large, very hairy man-arms, Jacques carried them out moments before the igloo exploded, sending flaming ice crystals this way and that.
Once Jacques reached a safe distance, he laid the bodies on the ground and closed each set of eyes. It was then he realized who was responsible for the death of his family. . . Who is that, you might ask?
Every ******** that live, breaths and shits.
Jacques found himself filled with man-rage and only one way to express it. . . Take over the world.
After having buried his wife and children, Jacques started south equipped with a wood axe and a can do attitude. Along the way, the thickly bearded lumberjack amassed an army of thousands who had heard his story and wept for his loss.
The Canadian's reached the United States of America on March 10, 2010 and took over in a mere eleven hours. Having captured vast amounts of arms and ordinance, they retrofitted the devices with a Canadian touch then branched out.
Mexico, England, Australia, Japan, Russia. . . Effortlessly, the Red and White army marched across the world and dominated all in its path. By March 13, Canada had asserted it dominance and forced its culture upon the world.
The only buildings permitted were made of snow and ice, unless it was a hockey arena.
Milk came only in bags, unless it was chocolate.
Hockey was the ONLY pass time. If you were working in Canadian Labor camps, you were chasing a puck until your lips turned blue.
And finally, every person on the planet was required to finish every sentence with "Eh", "Bud" or "Guy".
And so it was, Canada took over the world. However, it would long stay that way. It is said that rebels are amassing and fixing to topple the Canadian powers in order to restore their own culture and ways of life. They have sworn to fight tooth and claw to take back what is rightfully theirs.
If only they knew, all they had to do was ask nicely and say please. . .
Rules
-No Godmoding
-Violence, Romance and Cursing are all fine in moderation
-Profiles are to be PM'd to me titled "Canada, eh?"
-If you join, stay active! Don't let this parody roleplay die!
Profiles
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Faction:
Appearance:
Equipment:
Brief Bio:
Story
Of all the countries that could have taken over the world. . . Canada. Hard to believe, sure, but you cannot deny they had the element of surprise. I suppose you want to know how this happened? Lucky for you, I happen to know every detail!
One day, you see, the hockey playing, lumber jack, French Canadian by the name of Jacques was out riding his pet moose hunting beaver. As the tall, broad man hunted the wile beast, he pondered on how life in Canada had changed in recent years. How differently people dressed, spoke and acted. It nearly brought a tear to his man-eyes. . . He knew he would never change, but his family. . . He could not stop them. Pushing his worries to the back of his mind, Jacques reached his ten beaver quota and started off homeward bound. As he neared in tiny village, the sight of smoke and smell of burning ice triggered an adrenaline boost the likes of which he had never known!
Jacques kicked his heels into his trusty mounts sides and galloped into the village to find his igloo aflame. The red plain clad man leaped off his moose and ran inside to find his family all dead from asphyxiation. . . His son was too busy listen to that pesky rap music, his daughter had fell onto her keyboard wearing her stupid fake animal ears and his wife lay on the snow-couch watching a marathon of Gray's Anatomy. Collecting the bodies in his very large, very hairy man-arms, Jacques carried them out moments before the igloo exploded, sending flaming ice crystals this way and that.
Once Jacques reached a safe distance, he laid the bodies on the ground and closed each set of eyes. It was then he realized who was responsible for the death of his family. . . Who is that, you might ask?
Every ******** that live, breaths and shits.
Jacques found himself filled with man-rage and only one way to express it. . . Take over the world.
After having buried his wife and children, Jacques started south equipped with a wood axe and a can do attitude. Along the way, the thickly bearded lumberjack amassed an army of thousands who had heard his story and wept for his loss.
The Canadian's reached the United States of America on March 10, 2010 and took over in a mere eleven hours. Having captured vast amounts of arms and ordinance, they retrofitted the devices with a Canadian touch then branched out.
Mexico, England, Australia, Japan, Russia. . . Effortlessly, the Red and White army marched across the world and dominated all in its path. By March 13, Canada had asserted it dominance and forced its culture upon the world.
The only buildings permitted were made of snow and ice, unless it was a hockey arena.
Milk came only in bags, unless it was chocolate.
Hockey was the ONLY pass time. If you were working in Canadian Labor camps, you were chasing a puck until your lips turned blue.
And finally, every person on the planet was required to finish every sentence with "Eh", "Bud" or "Guy".
And so it was, Canada took over the world. However, it would long stay that way. It is said that rebels are amassing and fixing to topple the Canadian powers in order to restore their own culture and ways of life. They have sworn to fight tooth and claw to take back what is rightfully theirs.
If only they knew, all they had to do was ask nicely and say please. . .
Rules
-No Godmoding
-Violence, Romance and Cursing are all fine in moderation
-Profiles are to be PM'd to me titled "Canada, eh?"
-If you join, stay active! Don't let this parody roleplay die!
Profiles
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Faction:
Appearance:
Equipment:
Brief Bio:
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