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Hikaari-Kaht
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:08 am


well i thing writing is a form of art so i will post a poem...

heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart


To:
Ven-Kun

I once saw you,
a silohette,
a figure with a girl,
your eyes a deep ocean blue,
your hair a dark brown curl,
i fealt a kick in my step,
a flutter in my heart,
but as bad luck goes,
by glimpse we had to part,
a week later my heart was racing,
palms sweaty,
a feeling I'd forgotten your words were magic straight to the heart,
your lips,
my eyes had saught them,
your eyes a window to the soul,
how could i know,
somehow we became close friends,
the next days,
lead to a month,
untill time just seems to blend,
i never guessed or realized quite what i was feeling,
i barely knew you,
who could you be,
i feel you are an angel sent to me,
as days went by i wondered if it was really real, somebody could make me laugh,
somebody could make me feel?
why couldnt i let go of your face,
everyday my mind was filled with you,
when i saw you my heart began to race,
and not long after that,
your eyes they captured me,
a love i thought i would never find,
a dream I thought would never be,
my wall fell down like bricks of stone,
i was standing there vulnerable, but not alone,
your hand was there,
your lips soft as a feather,
i had won you from her,
i vowed to keep you forever,
that day i met you was meant to be,
it was splendor and divine,
for without that single day i saw your figure with a girl,
you never would have entered my mind,
and now i have you still,
and it has been thirteen long months,
we have had our share of hard,
rough times,
but we never forget the love...


Written By:
Hikaari-Kaht


heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart
PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:13 am


awesome poem
its a verbal art XD

shikahroo
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Hikaari-Kaht
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 9:05 pm


thankyou shik!! xp
PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 4:28 am


seriously i love this poem smile !!


manasa95

Crew

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H 3 L L I U M

PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 1:08 pm


It kind of bugs me that there's no set rythm to it.
I kinda really wanted to fall into one, but the way you have it set up/worded didn't allow me to.
I don't nderstand some of the breaks in the lines, but then again, this is a poem, so there's a bit of margin room for things like that.
I'm not that big into poetry, so I don't really know what else to say, or how I would go about continuing a critique.
PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:51 pm


H 3 L L I U M
It kind of bugs me that there's no set rythm to it.
I kinda really wanted to fall into one, but the way you have it set up/worded didn't allow me to.
I don't nderstand some of the breaks in the lines, but then again, this is a poem, so there's a bit of margin room for things like that.
I'm not that big into poetry, so I don't really know what else to say, or how I would go about continuing a critique.


i can see how you would think that, but when read aloud it does have rythm. i wrote it that way... i guess you would really have to understand the feeling of the poem or hear me read it aloud to understand. lol.

Hikaari-Kaht
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