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Kuroi Ro-Zu / The Black Rose (An Author's Guild)

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A guild for aspiring author's, poets, writers, and role playing. 

Tags: music, writing, poetry, story, roleplay 

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Just too Passionate

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PerroGuerrero

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 7:32 pm


Starlight, Quasar pull
Love is never dull
I can't pull away from this dual
Any tempt they do is null
Nature's touch, nature's drive
There's no where to dive
Try and stop me from going live
I'll just burst from all that stive
PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:06 am


PerroGuerrero
Starlight, Quasar pull
Love is never dull
I can't pull away from this dual
Any tempt they do is null
Nature's touch, nature's drive
There's no where to dive
Try and stop me from going live
I'll just burst from all that stive


Your cadence is off a bit by a syllable for each line, and some of your rhyming is forced. Try rewording it a little.

The Chainsaw Ninja
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