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 Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:19 pm
H... how do they DO that?
Having watched each of the three other cats do it in turn, Zue still couldn't wrap his head around it. Watching a cat hop around the neighborhood had never seemed so impressive when he'd been human - "oh, gee, you can jump from one trash can to another, watch me walk the same distance with no effort!" - but once he was in their shoes, everything seemed so much more challenging. All these little minute calculations you had to make before you jumped, figuring how much power to jump with, what angle to approach from, how much landing space you'd have... it was insane!
And yet it was so natural to all of them. Led first by Stripers (the most nimble of the group), they made an effortless run from one back-alley obstacle to the next, and in just a few seconds had cleared more than twenty feet lengthwise, twelve feet heightwise, to reach the top of the fence blocking off the pathway. And now they were all standing up there, staring at him. Waiting for him to follow.
His fur standing only slightly on end, Zue began his slow, cautious imitation of their stunt. First he had to get on this box here -- whoa, this was kind of wobbly -- then he needed to jump over onto that little ledge there. Once, you know. The box stopped wobbling.
After spending nearly thirty seconds, just watching Zue painfully navigate his way to the ledge, Stripers sat on the fence and started grooming her back. This was obviously going to take a while.
Even when he was sized down in his cat form, Zue was the biggest of the group. They didn't defer to him quite as easily as when he was in human form, maybe, but they followed his word without complaint - except Mackie. Because Mackie was big, too; and more to the point, he was the alpha of the gang. Zue might be trying to integrate himself with the group, but he was sucking at it.
So while the other two sat up on the fence patiently, meting out advice to their transformed friend as he clumsily navigated the alleyway, Mackie simply stared down in impatient contempt. It was like dealing with a kitten! Except in this case, there was no option to just hoist Zue up by the neck and carry him along. They were stuck at his pace - and his pace was slow.
Only now, Zue was hopping up on top of the dumpster. This was obviously a taxing accomplishment for, like after every other obstacle cleared, he had to stop, glance back, scan forward, and carefully consider the next step of the path in front of him. There was a little flower box outside a window, some feet away - he just needed to jump on that, and he'd have a clear shot at the fence. All right; he could do that. He just needed to stretch out a bit first, get his angles sorted out, make some mental preparations....
The tom cat finally spoke up. "Rrrrrowwwwwwwr," he complained sternly, earning a quick, worried glance from the purple cat. You're taking too much time, Mackie had scolded him; get over here already, or we'll leave you behind!
Zue bristled. He didn't remember ever getting this much attitude from the stray when it came to feeding time, damn it! But he was on Mackie's terms now, and he couldn't expect much consideration. He was as ready as he could get. Launching in five... four... three... two... one.....
THUMP, SCRABBLESCRABBLE -- "NO, NONONONO GOD DAMMIT--" CREEEEEAK -- "SHIIIIIIIIT--" CRASHHHHH.
Who knew that the flowerbox wouldn't appreciate the sudden weight of twenty pounds of cat clinging to the side? There it lay now, broken on the ground. And there was the humiliated Zue, shakily pulling himself up, covered in dirt and light lavender crocus petals.
Somewhere above him, Mackie had just garrumphed and started off and away. The other cats, glancing only briefly down at the scene of humiliation, followed. Zue had officially just gotten ditched.
"... Damn iiiiiit," the Guardian cursed, shaking his eyes clean of the dirt. Why couldn't he get this?!
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Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 11:37 am
Ophelia had the benefit of having popped into existence as a cat, full of cat memories from a life she had never actually lived and cat knowledge from experiences she had never actually had. Among these were the ability to hop from object to object without having to do complex physics equations in her head. It was a lot like knowing when and where a lunar senshi needed awakening, what their name was, and what sort of absolutely ridiculous power they possessed. Unlike Zue, she considered herself a cat who just so happened to be able to change into a human, instead of the other way around.
She had been lounging in the sun on the top of a nearby ledge, watching the goings-on in the alley below with a curious eye. In the cat hierarchy, Ophelia would have ranked fairly low being the smallest of the known breeds. She weighed in at five pounds and was dwarfed by a majority of the feral cats in Destiny City. Fortunately, cats were remarkably intelligent creatures, and even the most defensive and territorial could usually get an air of 'Do Not Touch' from the small Singapura. Still, she did her best not to infringe upon their territories.
It was only the telltale star upon the struggling cats forehead and the fact that he could talk that brought Ophelia to her feet, arching her back to stretch her tiny body out. She observed up until the point that Zue went crashing to the ground alongside the flowerpot, waiting for the small gang of observers to leave before leaping from the low ledge to the top of the fence. The Guardian cat jumped through the small obstacle course that would bring her to the ground, padding up to Zue's side.
“You're thinking too much,” she said, using her tail to brush dirt off of his back, “You're a cat. Your body knows how to do this.” Ophelia spoke like a worried mother. A worried mother who knew everything.
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Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:55 am
Zue's experiences with other Guardian Cats, to this point, had been limited to Astraea. Now, in some ways, that wasn't a bad impression to get; Astraea was competent, for one. Focused, dutiful. Zue probably wouldn't be trying half so hard to gain some competence in his cat form if it weren't for her gentle (cough) teasing and strong, dedicated example.
However. It also meant that when another Guardian came onto the scene, he had a tendency to frame all those interactions in the same way as he would Astraea's. In other words: Confrontational, mocking, and condescending.
The ease with which Ophelia's genuine help was translated into snarky Astraea-speak probably said more about Zue than the absent lunar cat, however.
"I'm trying, damn it!" The bigger cat growled, nowhere near sounding grateful as he shrugged aside the Singapura's help. He still had dirt all over his face, too, threatening his eyes. Grimacing, he tried to wipe it off with his paw - but that was covered in dirt too, of course, and just made things worse. The Cat Whisperer knew, of course, that a real cat in his position would first lick the paw, then use the dampened and cleaned paw to wipe the face clean; but even to Zue's low standards, the idea was absolutely repellent. But he really couldn't go around with all this dirt in his face....
After several seconds of contemplation, Zue decided to go for it. Screwing his eyes shut, he touched the tip of his tongue to the foot. ".... PLEGGGH!" Wrinkling up his face as well as he could, the Maine Coon sat abruptly and did his best to spit the taste of dirty cat foot onto the ground. "Goddamn, and I suppose the body's supposed to be able to gloss over that taste, too? I get normal cats being able to deal with this, but how in the hell are we supposed to?!"
Being a cat: It sounds cool when you're a kid. Then you realize that your tongue is your toilet paper, and all bets are off.
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