|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:12 am
My Info
Nickname: Aya (I prefer it to my real name smile )
Age: 22
Birthday: 09/12/87
Sex: Female
Location: California
Time Zone: PST
AIM: dollyfinn1326 (feel free to im me, I'm on all the time)
Online: 15 hours a day...I live on my computer
Bear with me as I evolve this character, I value your input as I work through it
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:42 am
Aodhfin Reamann Brady
Pronunciation: Ohd-vin Brady
Age: 20
Birthday: Feb 14
Sex: Male
Country of Origin: Ireland
Mother: Siofra Aislin Brady
Father: Cathair Aodhfin Brady
History
War: Shortly before he was born, Aodhfin's father was called away to assist with the war efforts, he barely knew his father and spent all his time with his mother. She taught him all he needed to know, before the war, she had been a teacher, so his education was well rounded. They lived in a small town in the middle of the countryside of Ireland, before the war, this area had been very green and sought out for photographs. Since the war started, it was the target of many raids by the enemy. In one of these raids, Aodhfin and his mother barely escaped their house as it was burned to the ground. Due to the fire, Aodhfin developed an extreme fear of fire, every time he sees a fire of any kind, he runs as far away as he can get. Unfortunately all his books were burned, he became very protective of any book he set his eyes upon. He had even been known to hoarde scraps of paper with writing on them.
Post War: After the war, Aodhfin's father returned, but because he had hardly spent any time with his father, Aodhfin was indifferent to his presence. He decided to try to follow his mother's example and wandered, teaching what he could to anyone who would listen. He was full of random facts that he liked to spew at anyone he thought would require that information.
Personality: Aodhfin is fairly shy, he speaks very quietly except when he is teaching. Books and teaching are his passion in life. He is extremely humble and will find a fault with himself any time someone compliments him. Despite the years between him and the fire of his childhood, he still harbors an unnatural fear of fire.
Description: 5'4" Shaggy light brown hair, piercing blue eyes, wiry build, sinewy and lean
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:39 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:40 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:51 am
My Dream PrinceBasic Info Name: Ideal Species: Rana temporaria Common Frog Picture: XXXIdeal Genotype: xy* or xy Known Personality Quirks -Prefers dense forest
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 12:06 am
The character isn't too bad, but how will he be able to afford a prince? Also, personality and post war need to be fleshed out s'more since it's pretty vague right now.
And just a note, 5'4" is quite small for someone of Irish decent. The average right now is 5'9.5".
Wiry and muscular don't go together. Try 'lean' if you want him to still have some sort of muscles. (Think swimmer.) 3nodding
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 12:16 am
Agree with everything that Lil says~
There's also the problem that you don't elaborate a lot on what he does, how he does it, etc etc. You still need more info for your quest before we know whether he'd fit well or not 3nodding
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 1:24 am
Thank you for your advice, to clarify, he is supposed to be short, and wiry describes someone who is fairly scrawny but with muscle tone, I added muscular in case people didn't know what wiry meant. Thank you and I will continue to work on him
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 1:53 am
SAME WITH LIL AND DJU. how in the world would he have the money to get a prince? Quote: 5'4" Shaggy light brown hair, piercing blue eyes, wiry build, muscular but still on the scrawny side I'm sorry, but I think that adding a wiry build + muscular + 5'4" doesn't really equal = scrawny. I think I'd really appreciate if it you could elaborate on his personality -- why is he so shy, and why does he like books and teaching? What does he feel about his father when he left for the war? I also think you mention his phobia of fire too much. It's not really part of his personality, and you mention it two times in his entire application. All in all, I guess this character feels a bit flat. And. It's sort of a coincidence that he was born on Valentine's Day -- maybe you should explain that better?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:15 am
Wiry doesn't mean muscular, though. wink
Wiry = wire-like.
Muscular = big muscles, anti-scrawny.
Can't wait for the updates, though! smile
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 3:27 am
He's shy and humble, but what other sorts of personality tidbits does he have? Perhaps include what he's like in social situations for the sake of more information, or just imagine him in a situation and embellish your passage with those sort of details.
How would he, as a wandering teacher, afford a Prince? Some secret inheritance or money stash, perhaps? Add something in his history about how he'd be a good candidate for a prince (Financially). As it seems, his father's profession ought to be elaborated on. A teacher like his mother wouldn't make much or have very many opportunities to set aside much money, and Aodhfin doesn't seem to be employed. x3
As far as your frog, personality quirks are more like: He thinks he's a fairy. (As an example.)
Dense forests seems more like a fact about your frog. o 3o
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 8:44 am
I'm sorry, I don't understand this afford a frog thing, I've read through the descriptions on all the pages and just don't understand, could someone please explain?
And as for the frog description, after reading lil's as was given as an example in the rules, it seemed that it was supposed to be a description of the frog itsself, forgive me if I'm wrong
wir·y (wr)
adj. wir·i·er, wir·i·est
1. Of or relating to wire.
2. Resembling wire in form or quality, especially in stiffness: wiry red hair.
3. Sinewy and lean: He had a wiry build.
4. Produced by or as if by wire being vibrated. Used of sounds: a wiry tone.
this is the definition I was going for, I just had a hard time explaining it
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 11:36 am
Oh oh I can explain it nice and simple for you aya!
Alright..owning a prince is like owning a classic car..say..an old Ferrari?
First you have to have enough money to purchase the car..-expensive- then you need enough money to handle the constant upkeep of the old car, all those expenses.
Basically max wont sell his precious princes to anyone but the obscenely wealthy -because hes greedy lawls!- and once you have said prince, while in the beginning as an egg and a tadpole it might not cost you very much, as it grows and needs clothes, food, toys, private tutors even, etc..you'r character will have to have a nice stream of money with which to supply these things. Heck maybe when your prince grows up it'll want car's and houses, and more expensive trinkets of its own? All of which -because the frog is an extension of its owner- you'r character will need to fund.
So maybe if your character were a 'private tutor' on the side + being a government instructor, instead of a wandering teacher? He'd make the money needed to afford a prince.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 12:20 pm
See, I thought that profile I was working on was for the prince.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:22 pm
The main character you want to focus is your character, the owner of the prince. So go over the crits people left and work on that mainly, as its your character Aodhfin Reamann Brady who's going to be rp'ing for the prince.
Really making a prince profile is more of a secondary task, as you can always win a prince in one of the contests, and it may not necessarily be the prince your questing after. As for the personality quirks on your frog -if you do wanna work on a frogy profile- personality quirks are things that may occur with the humanized species of your forg.
If the Rana temporaria likes dense forests, then as a human being he might enjoy climbing trees a lot, or playing out in dry weather. Stuff like that. You take a few of the species traits, and humanize them.
If your frog species is fat, then maybe as a human he enjoys to eat snack cakes a lot? Stuff like that!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
