For a Good Relationship
I believe the first thing you need in a relation is honesty, because in every long term relationship hiding things won’t only be hard but you will be some what trapped and won’t ever be able to really understand or be understood with the one your with. Also say the man/woman you are with is not being honest with you. How would that make you feel? Well, in a relationship; not only your feelings matter but their feelings matter too.
You have to remember what they want just as much or more that what you want. Honesty in very important to have a strong family because if everyone is trying to dodge the possibility of being caught constantly, or constantly faking or not acting how they feel things well always feel awkward, and your whole relationship will be built on a lie. Another very important thing is the people you date. Dating was made for people to look for someone you would like to get married with. So if you are dating someone even if you don’t plan on being married anytime soon try to imagine being married to them.
If you don’t date to marry, but to simple be happy for however long it is you are to young minded to even date. Dating just for a short time lust is very foolish and can lead you down many bad, bad paths and pains. Now if your dating to see what kind of people you like or make you happy that is fine too, just not for lust. Also, when you date people you should not simple do things ‘by the book’ or how everyone else does. Such as say everyone calls there girl/ boyfriend ‘Honey or Pumpkin’ so you do it for the one you are dating. But then if the awkwardness is not noticed by you it will be noticed by someone else. Nothing should be done just because every one else does it, it makes it tacky and fake.
Now by ‘playing by the book’ I don’t mean being safe and do what your parents say. I mean just follow the lines of how everyone else dates. No, when you date you need to be very careful of the things you do that may lead you to pregnancy, or never being able to say you are clean to your future husband/ wife. Also remember the one you might choose to sleep with might be the future husband/ wife of someone else, maybe even one of your friends. Another good tip in having a relationship is don’t do it just because you want some one to sleep with.
By doing that not only are you setting very low standards for yourself but the one you are dating. Also if you do that, you will never really have a good relationship. To some whom have very low standards and date only for that reason, just remember the few people who have good relationships will not be you. You will be the one having no one to turn to when things go wrong. A lover is just there for you when you don’t want a night to be lonely.
But a good relationship will stay with you through thick and thin. A good relationship should be built around trust and willingness to change not filling a satisfaction for a small moment in time to simple feel good for a moment then for it to be gone with no long term satisfaction. Not to say sleeping with each other is not a good part of a married life but that is something I wont get into, and don’t understand enough to get into. Also in a good relationship might have to know even the good ones get hard and might make you very angry sometimes.
But remember frustration with you or the one you are dating should not just lead straight to breaking up. Just like a family relationship and friendships; when you have a problems you work until it is straightened out. And if you really can’t or don’t want to work on things then DON’T HAVE A RELATION SHIP. You have to be willing to change and willing to look at yourself even if you as sure the other is wrong. Now if you are dating someone and there is a problem they have that really bothers you, and you have tried to talk to them yet they deny it and ignore you, then it is not hard to see they are not mature enough to handle criticism and should just not date.
But, also remember many, MANY girls date someone who is abusive either physically, verbally, or both and choose to date them because either 1; they like being victims, or 2; they are foolish/ think they are needy enough for the attention so they stay with the man/ woman. If some one is dating someone else like that there should be no talking. He does not love nor respect you and you should not date someone like that. You should date someone whom lifts you up and encourages you. Otherwise if you are dating someone like that you are being a fool.
So, if you know a friend or this is your problem what she/he or you is wrong in taking it. If you accept abuse from the one you are dating it is just as much your fault as it is theirs. We all know the word love. It means deep, deep caring for someone. Love is when you put someone else before yourself. But this word is thrown around way to much and is overused.
Now for me when my mom says she loves me I know she is telling the truth, when my little sister says she loves me I also know she was telling the truth, but out of the men I dated ‘which is more than you would probably believe’ all of them said they loved me and only one was telling the truth. When a lot of people date they start saying ‘I love you’ to the other to early, in fact they have said it to almost every (if not all) the people they have dated. The truth is they probably don’t love you like that. They are probably just doing was daters do and one of those is saying ‘I love you’ even if they truly do.
Love should not just be a word who you say to the one you are dating or else it would mean nothing when and if you really mean it. Save that word for someone whom you really do love. And that probably won’t happen with in the first week of dating. Love my people is a verb. And no I don’t mean in the ‘grossy, grossy’ kind of way I mean if someone loves you they will show it in every actions towards you.
You might end up loving more that one person, but remember to make the word count when you use it. And remember to always show that you love someone if you do. Take care for them when they need someone, Be kind even when you are mad at something and, again be willing to change for them, ‘in a good way I mean’. Love is when you put someone else before yourself, and most of us can’t do that. So this is what I believe will be a good relationship and above all the most important thing I believe is love.
