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 Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:14 pm
I need some advice if anyone has any thoughts on this:
I have this guy....guess you could call him a boyfriend lol who is nothing less than amazing the only problem is his mother....She basically treats him like a retarded 10 year old and with that all the complications of me and him trying to hang out.
See she is the most nasty, close minded, arrogant individual i have ever met, she doesnt listen to reason, she doesnt listen to anyone except what sounds good in her own mind...which could possibly be a little bit damaged itself due to all the drugs she used to do. So here are me and him just trying to have fun and see each other but everytime we try and hang out its a huge battle that ends in a fight between them, him being grounded, and sometimes her calling my mother and telling her about how horrible he is.....
He is 17 by the way and in less than a year 18 obviously..but she will not let him get a job, no lisence, no car, nothing at all...
See the crazy thing is that she has all these excuses as well, that he is soo lazy and cant handle things because he is so immature, she says that he is rude and nasty to them and a jerk. Which is basically all bull crap because what i see in him is about the exact opposite and i know he isnt just putting on a show because i was friends with him for about a year before we started liking each other and ive seen him in about every scenario possible for him to deal with things.....so its stupid first of all
And then she is also the worst hypocrite ive ever seen...she says he wasnt allowed to be dating in the first place but then turns around and says she doesnt care if we date....she says we could hang out one day at this certain time and then piles more and more chores that he has to do so then we cant see eachother till atleast 2 hours later than the specified time
All this crap has been going on for about 4 months since we started hanging out more and it was always sorta okay till she started getting worse about it and i dont even know why...She wont let us hang out at all basically now but still says she doesnt care if we date.....she is also trying to tell me what to do and how to live my life and where i can and cant go....so far ive been banned from the pool, this gym place and even my own dance...by her....obviously im not listening to her because she is so freaking ridiculous but i just wish i could understand why she is doing this
Oh and she is apparently going to put a restraining order on me and my mom because one day when he was up at my house he didnt call her till a half an hour after when she told him to call and apparently that was too mysterious and we are all lying to her about everything now.....Does this seem ridiculous to any of you?!?!
IM sorta going crazy over all of this and its been pretty insane in itself...i would love any help anyone would care to lend .... smile
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 5:22 am
Where's his dad? Is there another adult in his family who can intervene? It's tough having a parent like that; my own mom is addicted to drugs and mentally ill. Unfortunately there isn't a lot that can be done to make her see reason, and unless there's another parent involved she can't be muzzled without a court order. A guidance counselor at the school should probably be made aware of what his home situation is even if he/she can't intervene directly. Besides that, I can tell you that getting a scholarship down here to Florida was the most efficient method of running away from home that I could have come up with.
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dolls in stitches Captain
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 10:44 pm
I had a boyfriend who was in a similar situation. His parents treated him unfairly as well and as a child. They would tell him that he's useless and never going to make anything of himself...yadda yadda. They just weren't nice. Especially his father. And I was always puzzled as to why they would say such things. All of this lead to him being pretty hurt on the inside and affected him pretty emotionally.
Anyway, what it all came down to is that I told him to stand up for himself. And I told him to prove them wrong. Now when I was still with him, he seemed to follow my advice, but I think that he will never please them. But I don't know. I believe they wanted to motivate him, but did it in the worse way.
I agree with Renee. Maybe you should inform the school counselor. I did that with my own situation. Actually, I told a teacher. But it would be good that someone else knew of this situation, and that they may be of help.
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Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 10:48 pm
He has a dad but he lives like sum hours away and this parents arent married and never were....actually he and his sister and brother all came from different dads and none of them were her husbands ever, so its kinda crazy in that way as well but he really doesnt have a father around to help at all in any way.
His sister is about 24 or something as well and it seems like she has somewhat of an influence in some way on his mom but it also seems like that his mom doesnt even listen to her either or misinterprets what she says for something completely different.
As for a counselor im not to sure what good i could do since i dont go to that school, and have actually been basically banned from it for other strange reasons but if anyone would talk to a counselor it would either be him or maybe a friend or something but i know he is determined to fix things or do whatever he can himself without any assistance from others and such. So at the moment im just letting him be the guy he is, but its just a lil hard especially when she comes up to me and cusses at me about all this crap its a little tedius.
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