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 Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:14 am
████████████ ■ ■ ■ Welcome to First Kiss, a Royalty Bound Princeling Concept by Kanove.
████████████████████This concept thread was created to show off Kanove's various ideas about
████████████████████the princeling he so happens to desire. Currently the thread is under major
████████████████████construction so please pardon the dust. Once the thread is complete critiq-
████████████████████-ues will be open and I, Kanove, gladly welcome it. : ) Happy Reading!
████████████
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:16 am
████████████ ■ ■ ■Need information on Kanove? Just look or ask further.
████████████■█Taylor is my name
████████████■█I am 17 and Male (Born December 7th).
████████████■█I go by Tay, Taylor, Kano, or Kanove
████████████■█You can find me in the Central Time Zone (-6 GMT) or if you prefer Texas.
████████████■█Normally I'm online from 7PM-11PM on Weekdays and all day when I'm
█████████████at home on the Weekends.
████████████■█ MSN / Windows Live : taylorico92 (at) hotmail.com
████████████■█ AIM : taylorico
████████████■█ E-Mail : tayconel (at) gmail.com
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:24 am
████████████ ■ ■ ■ Monday. January 4th, 2010. Thread started, worked on, and opened for critiques. The Princeling's information is still empty so please forgive me until that point. : )
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:26 am
■ ■ ■ Forelith Manor ■ ■ ■
Layout Currently Unavailable, coming soon.
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:27 am
█████████████████read further. Shen is an individual of high intellectual capacity who
█████████████████surrounds himself with people and items more than he succumbs to
█████████████████a persons desire or need for solitude.
█████████████████*Note: Shen did not learn English as a first language, he often speaks oddly or
█████████████████over-formalizes what he means to say.
███████ ■ Country of Origin: Haikou
███████ ■ Name: Qing-Yuan Shen
███████ ■ Gender: Male
███████ ■ Birth Date: April 4
███████ ■ Age: 37 years (looks lower 30s (high 20s), even after the war efforts)
███████ ■ Parents: Qing-Yuan Lee and Shen
████████████ ■ Siblings: Qing-Yuan Su (single sister)
███████ ■ Ethnicity: (3/4) Chinese and (1/4) Unknown, rumored to be Thai
███████ ■ Height: 171 cm (almost 5'8")
███████ ■ Weight: 61kg (almost 135 lbs)
████████████ ■ Body Style: A bit of muscle, built for endurance, not size.
████████████ ■ Skin Tone: Light with a bit of exposure noticeable
████████████ ■ Expression: Amused or Perplexed
████████████ ■ Eye Color: Black
████████████ ■ Hair Style: Kept a medium length, normally very very clean looking
███████ ■ Clothing: Looking to dress for the occasion Shen keeps himself clean cut although he normally is wearing something rather- out there. His clothes are very Victorian looking but modern. He prefers to keep his outfits layered multiple times (and somehow it never looks like he has on all of them). Although mainly black and white his wardrobe does contain a fair amount of blues, reds, greens, and browns which he does wear a lot. His favorite outfit happens to be a pair of black dress pants and shoes, a very fancy vest, a golden pocket watch, with a white undershirt and a matching tie. (I fail at descriptions OTL)
███████ ■ Accessories: A small erring with a crystal hanging from it is a gift from his father and is something that is always in his right ear when he's awake.
███████ ■ Personality:
Although his colleagues may call him brilliant and Shen may agree with them, he doesn't try to hide the fact. The man is known to flaunt his knowledge around in conversations and often talk about all the knowledge he possesses which might have been the reason he lives alone. One person truly supports him and that is his faithful family maid, Mu Lan, who although as kind and considerate as he- will admit she gets tired of hearing about all he knows.
Shen is a very talkative man and consistently surrounds himself in his work or ideas as he lives from day to day. There is hardly a moment where he isn't talking or studying and reading books from as far back as the twelfth century he has adapted himself to a vast amount of knowledge he believes no one else possesses.
A doctor by trade Shen lives in a long and vast manor built along the street side with a personal office built inside. Although most of his visits are home visits or commission he has found himself receiving a great deal of popularity after a few known discoveries during the war. Even with his job, as busy as it may be, Shen manages to find a great deal of time to himself and hates every moment of it.
He normally finds himself being very shrewd to those around him if he is left alone for a long period of time. (which tends to happen otherwise).
███████ ■ Post-War:
The war was bloody, a horror which Shen wishes not to relive. Ever since the night he was dismissed from duty due to nearly drowning himself after seeing his best friend killed in battle Shen has lived in his current residence. It took him months to recovered but soon enough he gained back his license. However, since then he dwells within books and his thoughts more than the average intellectual.
Shen finds peace away from people, yet around them at the same time. However, since the war he refuses to become close friends with anyone as he blames himself for his friends death. He also is known to sleep a lot less than the average human being, an average of 5 hours a night- commonly filled with violent dreams of the war.
Although he was a doctor and was supposed to be kept behind the action Shen was forced to take up a gun and fight alongside his allies, against people, against a nation he saw no reason to fight.
Yet- since that day Shen has rid his residence of every gun, every form of ammunition, and anything that might remind him of that day. Instead he has transformed his house into a sun-bathing residence of as much distraction as possible. More often than not, Shen finds himself lost because of the horrors he hides beneath the smile on his face.
He hides it, the pain, the fear, and the negativity he feels every day below a cloak of invisible joy.
███████ ■ Habits: Getting lost or absorbed in conversations and losing track of time, actually getting lost, reading too much
███████ ■ Occupation: A self-employed doctor Shen is one of few surviving war doctors that made it home after the bloody event. He found himself secluded at first but as his past became more and more known the citizens began demanding his help in curing illnesses that kept popping up- which was unlikely to happen with all the medicine at that time in the 32nd century. So he did so, and reluctantly he found himself renovating his house to create a personal doctors office and various inventions in which he commonly used to help him while on the streets.
███████ ■ Inventions:
Trauma Data Sheet (T.D.S.)
A machine that provides valuable information to an individual when a single "thermometer" takes their temperature by pricking their skin (like an I.V.) The machine takes seconds to record heart-beat, blood, pressure, type, and information about viruses/bacteria that might lurk in the blood stream/tissue in the patient. About the size of a 10x14" piece of paper. Two scroll looking ends with a glass digitized and glass middle.
Patent: 4673-678-346764 TDSAP, Certified.
Examination Proctor (X.Proc)
A machine that fits in the palm of your hand and has a screen that uses invisible rays to examine the body without gels or anything having to be applied. The machine projects an image of the x-ray into the air for viewing, is see through.
Patent: 4673-285-467650 XPROTC, Certified.
P.D.A Transmission Device
A small handheld device that can transfer and receive information from a database at Shen's home in which he can verify questions he may have for himself when he is away. The device also displays information of previous patients and can pull up files. Has the ability to project information up to 10'x15' on to a wall.
Patent: 4673--683-753784 FFACTL, Certified.
███████ ■ Remedies:
Melidiafyte
A small unknown powdery substance which has the ability to cure the "Silver Cough". A cough in which individuals are reportedly coughing up acids and liquids from inside the body. Melidiafyte has the ability to cure the coughs by soothing the throat and reinforcing the barriers between the esophagus and the stomach. Mixed with a special drink twice a day. Once at morning, once at night.
Translidium
A cure for what we would call pneumonia nowadays. The disease is a lot quicker and a lot more painful in the thirty-second century and this medicine has the ability to slow down the virus to give enough time for other medicine to be applied. Taken 3 times a day with water.
███████ ■ Motivation for a Prince of His Own: Shen has long been surrounded with Maids, War Heroes, Veterans, and people of power- however for years (since leaving his family) he hasn't been surrounded by anyone, but one person, who truly appreciates him for who he really is outside of his occupation. Shen is motivated to get a prince of his own through his pure will to have a family member, someone he can take care of, interact with, and raise. A child of his own, of sorts.
███████ ■ History: Shen has a long and practically tale-tale history and it is currently unwritten. His life wasn't full of drama till he was forced into the war.
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:27 am
████████████ ■ ■ ■ Information on my ideal Princeling.
████████████ Name:Information Forth-Coming
████████████ Ideal Species:Information Forth-Coming
████████████ Picture:Information Forth-Coming
████████████ Ideal Genotype:Information Forth-Coming
████████████ Personality Quirks
████████████ Information Forth-Coming
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:28 am
████████████ ■ ■ ■ These are the credits I give, and the thanks I offer.
██████████████████ ■ Concept © Kanove
██████████████████ ■ Graphics © Kanove
██████████████████ ■ Royalty Bound © Dju and King
██████████████████ ■ I also thank all the shop regulars for their continued support and
████████████████████inspiration for me to make this thread happen. A special thanks
████████████████████to Luafien and lilstalkerrr for their entertainment while I was cre-
████████████████████-ating this thread- as well to everyone else. : )
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 6:37 am
Nice character there smile A doctor, that's pretty original so far haha. Also love the banners, you did a great job on them (now if only everyone could set up journals that nicely razz ).
Onto the actual critique, explain to us some more about his profession? Does he specialize in anything? Where does he work? Does he enjoy his job? If he gets the same pay as everyone else (because of the Socialist/Communist society he lives in), how did he end up so wealthy??
Lastly, what is his motive for wanting a Prince of his own? smile Is it his unwillingness to be alone forevermore? xD
edit: Oh yeah, and you spelled "earring" as "erring" x] <3
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 9:55 pm
Thank you Dju!
I shall get to work on my edits as soon as I can. : D I am very much thrilled to elaborate more, especially on his past in the war.
UPDATES! January 17th.
Occupational Status, Price, and Details about his Traveling Intensive Care has been added!
The reason to obtain a prince has been added!
Information on Shen himself has been updated.
Extra bits of information added.
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:56 pm
I like the character~ Just a few things need some explainin' for him to really fit in Saltaire.
First and foremost, by now there is likely a vaccine for the common cold and every other virus out there, plus over the counter creams and specialized antiboiotics for the rest. Overall, the MOTHERLAND likely requires vaccinations for everyone to prevent epidemics (and of course to implant tracking microchips for those conspiracy theorists~) and so that they can get all the doctors working in the field to bandage up all those wounded soldiers.
If you want to still cure illnesses, you should work up some creative juices and tell us some new bugs that plague the 32nd century. wink
Also, your character seems ridiculously nice. Too nice, almost. Generally speaking, anyone who goes to war comes out with some sort of post-traumatic stress, which often leaves them bitter toward the world and sometimes violent. Being a doctor, Shen's likely seen the worst of the worst wounds and a lot of deaths. What makes Shen able to see past the death and be so positive?
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Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 12:56 am
yay, i'm going to give some concrit ~
I'd like to agree with everyone up there, lil and dju. Qing-Yuan sounds very nice and fine with everything -- almost Gary Sue like, if you know what I mean. He is apparently smart, nice, respectful, and loves his community. Now I'm sure people would love him, but our duty as RPers is to get at least one thing people would dislike about someone. Perhaps he's a smoker in secret, or he can be snappy with his patients? Try to make his character more real ... it's possible to have a doctor that's weird, antisocial and yet brilliant. Take a look at my beloved Dr. Gregory House for example. Besides, I know that I haven't met a Chinese before in my life that nice -- [no racism intended. well, i'm chinese so >>].
Second. His height and his weight don't really match. To be 5'8", a man, and yeah. That just isn't right. He should be at least 130 pounds, in my suggestion. Shen could be rail thin and still not be that small. Also, I really agree with what lil said -- try to integrate some cool medical technology into this! It's medical stuff -- you could make anything and everything, pointless stuff like glow in the dark xrays or something. And yeah, new bugs would be good.
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Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 4:19 pm
Thank You Both! I will work on the character ASAP.
/will update once the suggestions have been attended too.
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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 8:09 pm
UPDATED INSANSELY! 3< JESUS! That was A LOT of updating. Hope you like.
01/27/2010 : 10:08 PM.
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Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 5:41 pm
I like the updates, but I'm still lookin' for this: "Also, your character seems ridiculously nice. Too nice, almost. Generally speaking, anyone who goes to war comes out with some sort of post-traumatic stress, which often leaves them bitter toward the world and sometimes violent. Being a doctor, Shen's likely seen the worst of the worst wounds and a lot of deaths. What makes Shen able to see past the death and be so positive?" "The man is known to flaunt his knowledge around in conversations and often talk about all the knowledge he possesses which might have been the reason he lives alone." It may be a flaw, but it's not a behavior commonly associated (if ever) with PTSD. http://www.ptsd.va.gov/ <-good place to look for some information wink
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Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 6:03 pm
Updated again for Lil~ I hope this time I struck the bullet. o-o.
/has a dad in the military so he knew what it was.
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