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 Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 7:03 pm
I had to revisit the past in a dream last night. Beau was there, and he was smiling like he used to. It was nice, we spent the day with friends, and then I turn around and there are all the drugs and needles. Fear struck me and I turned to Beau and his face went dark and then he faded away. I woke up, tears streaked down my face. My boyfriend woke from this and asked me about it and I told him everything. He comforted me and told me it would be alright. I felt the guilt all day, the blaming for his death. The cursing of my own life not sacrificed and not his. It's been about a year, and I'm still not over the whole fact he's dead, and I'm not...
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 8:34 am
You have to remember that true friends want you to live a happy life. Let this be a motivation for you. Stay strong.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 2:51 pm
It was a depressing day. I thought that my boyfriend and me would make it for a while. But, to find out that he still loves someone else, and they want to be together again, crushes all that. Too many times this has happened, they get who they want while I get left behind. I'm sick of having to move on, and keep moving on. For once, I just want to have someone, I don't have to worry about breaking up with. I act all fine with it, when others are around, but on the inside I'm tearing up, screaming. I feel like crying right now, but I won't. Or I'll try not to. Can't I just have a steady relationship? Can't I have someone that wants me as much as I want them? Obviously, not...
FML.
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 6:06 pm
I am now back together with my man. I found out that he was using the past lover as a scape goat. He just thought we were being just ******** buddies. But, now we found out we can do a relationship without sex, it's difficult we both need to try a bit harder, cause we ******** a lot lately. After tonight I'm serious I'm throwing a pact tonight that no sex for a long time. Cause we need to get our relationship going without having sex every ******** night. At the moment he is living with me. Thank god my mom said he could. Everyone loves my mom, and I do too. I have also joined a crew known as, "SPK" And I will die for this gang, no joke, no lie. I am also now initiated into the Crips. A lot of s**t is going down, and I'm gonna die for my brother's and my love.
Going good.
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Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:48 pm
It's been a while since I put something in here. Not too much has gone on, my boyfriend and me are still together, and he's living with me still. Some drama has occured like my brother/bestfriend Star (Who is black) was accused of stealing a t.v. from someones house, even though it would be impossible. Because to steal that t.v. he would've had to walk pass the court house to get it here. So, the dude that thought he did it, is a ********. I have to go back to school tomorrow, I haven't been there in over 2-3 weeks, so going back is gonna be hell for me. I hate this school to death, I never had so much hatred for a school before. Oh well. I'm going to be possibly transferring to the ALC because I can't cut it out at the real High School. Which is ******** fine with me, cause I actually like some of the people at the ALC. So, yep. Idk what else to put. Comment my s**t, leave replies. Whatever.
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