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 Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 10:37 pm
I got pregnant probably around 5 or 6 months ago. It was a shock, but me and my boyfriend decided to keep it. I ended up having a miscarriage a month or so into the pregnancy, and it was really hard on me.
Now, on Christmas Eve, my boyfriend's mother had told us how someone in his extended family has been saying bad things about me and him. Apparently the family member is just telling everyone that I had an abortion, that I'm a murderer, and that both him and I need help. Worst thing is, I've never met any of his extended family.
I'm supposed to be meeting everyone, probably, next Christmas at latest. If his family believes the lies, how can I show my face? It's bad enough I still have depressing thoughts about the life I lost, and it hit me like a bullet when I heard this being spread around.
Him and I plan on getting married in the future, plan on having a family together, but I don't know how to deal with his inlaws. (Aside from his parents, sister and nephew; of course.) Apparently there are a handful of those people in his family. I don't really know what kind of advice I'm looking for ... I'm just really upset with how the miscarriage is coming up again, and not in a good way. It really ruins the holidays.
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Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 1:50 am
Hmm... definitely a tricky situation. I guess depending on how your boyfriend's relationship with his family is, there's more than one way to go about this:
- Him and his parents could try talking to the one family member who's being rude and talking about your abortion to everyone else.
- Or your boyfriend and/or his parents could just lay a ground rule saying no one is to mention or discuss it while you're there.
- You could also refuse to go if that's how his family will act around you and you're not going to stand for it.
- You could also just go next year and ignore them - if anyone mentions it, you can tell them politely that it's not their business, that it's a lie, that you don't want to talk about it, etc.
Sorry I don't think that was much help. sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:59 am
I think your boyfriend or his mother should confront the person if possible. They should tell the person that you had a miscarriage, that it was hard for you, and that they expect the liar to come clean and correct the story to those that they told. If the liar doesn't come clean, maybe your boyfriend and his mom can go around correcting the story for that person, which would make him/her look like a real jerk!
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:19 pm
OMFG. You need to go set them straight. Just tell them, 'No, actually, I miscarried.' But out of politeness they probably won't say anything. How do they know, anyway?
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