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whatagirlwants Vice Captain
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 Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 9:54 pm
this is the place to discuss divorce. please be civil what the bible says Quote: deut 22:13-19 13 “Suppose a man marries a woman, but after sleeping with her, he turns against her 14 and publicly accuses her of shameful conduct, saying, ‘When I married this woman, I discovered she was not a virgin.’ 15 Then the woman’s father and mother must bring the proof of her virginity to the elders as they hold court at the town gate. 16 Her father must say to them, ‘I gave my daughter to this man to be his wife, and now he has turned against her. 17 He has accused her of shameful conduct, saying, “I discovered that your daughter was not a virgin.” But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.’ Then they must spread her bed sheet before the elders. 18 The elders must then take the man and punish him. 19 They must also fine him 100 pieces of silver, which he must pay to the woman’s father because he publicly accused a virgin of Israel of shameful conduct. The woman will then remain the man’s wife, and he may never divorce her.Quote: deut 22:28-29 28 “Suppose a man has intercourse with a young woman who is a virgin but is not engaged to be married. If they are discovered, 29 he must pay her father fifty pieces of silver.[c] Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he may never divorce her as long as he lives. Quote: deut 24:1-4 “Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes her a letter of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house. 2 When she leaves his house, she is free to marry another man. 3 But if the second husband also turns against her and divorces her, or if he dies, 4 the first husband may not marry her again, for she has been defiled. That would be detestable to the Lord. You must not bring guilt upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as a special possession. Quote: malachi 2:15-16 15 Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. 16 “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,[c]” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”Quote: matt 5:31-32 31 “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’[n] 32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. Quote: matt 19:1-12 1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went down to the region of Judea east of the Jordan River. 2 Large crowds followed him there, and he healed their sick. 3 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’[a] 5 And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
7 “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?”[c] they asked.
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. 9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.[d]”
10 Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!”
11 “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. 12 Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry[e] for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” I think divorce should only happen because of affair and abuse. I do not believe in divorce of irreconcilable difference.
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:49 am
I am actually planning to do a study about this subject. In the Bible, it says that marriage is honorable before God. So He delights to marry someone, of the opposite gender of course. But I believe if it is not working out and/or if is not ordained by God, then it is better to be divorced.
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:00 am
Moved to the Discussion/Light Debates
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:43 am
I think that divorce is fine mostly for the sake of if it is out of abuse, but when people say that they need to divorce because they aren't able to 'connect' with their other half any more I find it to be a load, because your not just going to go out into the world and find the person who is just perfect for you. A soul mate can't be found they're made.
Relationships are meant to be built by learning about the other person and if things just don't feel like they're working the talk and find out why, don't just jump to the conclusion that its not fixable.
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Rigormortis Metamorphosis
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:57 am
Rigormortis Metamorphosis I think that divorce is fine mostly for the sake of if it is out of abuse, but when people say that they need to divorce because they aren't able to 'connect' with their other half any more I find it to be a load, because your not just going to go out into the world and find the person who is just perfect for you. A soul mate can't be found they're made.
Relationships are meant to be built by learning about the other person and if things just don't feel like they're working the talk and find out why, don't just jump to the conclusion that its not fixable. I agree. Also, I had a thought. If they aren't connecting to each other, that means not just one but both needs to submit to one another. And that takes a lot of dying to the flesh. Marriage is not about "What it is good about me." When you are married, The "Me" turns into "Us." There is no "Me" in it. When God ordains a couple to be wed, He will simply attaches two of them together. So if they cannot connect with each other, I would say that there is an issue in the heart. Something needs to die 1st, then the marriage will bloom out in ways you never expect. But a lot chose the easy way out. They do not want the minister of God like they should have done from day one.
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 12:15 pm
Thistle_Whistle I am actually planning to do a study about this subject. In the Bible, it says that marriage is honorable before God. So He delights to marry someone, of the opposite gender of course. But I believe if it is not working out and/or if is not ordained by God, then it is better to be divorced. define ordaned by God. clearly if you are wed by a Christian/ Catholic priest you are ordained by God but what about those who could only afford to elope? or those who made a vow to each other before God but are not married...yet or made said vow but then eloped?
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whatagirlwants Vice Captain
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Rigormortis Metamorphosis
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 12:21 pm
froggymama89 Thistle_Whistle I am actually planning to do a study about this subject. In the Bible, it says that marriage is honorable before God. So He delights to marry someone, of the opposite gender of course. But I believe if it is not working out and/or if is not ordained by God, then it is better to be divorced. define ordaned by God. clearly if you are wed by a Christian/ Catholic priest you are ordained by God but what about those who could only afford to elope? or those who made a vow to each other before God but are not married...yet or made said vow but then eloped? Yeah, because my boyfriend and I want to get married, but we don't think we'll have the money for a larger ceremony, so we figured we may get eloped. (Which is what we had wanted to any ways...>< The ceremony is more from my family who doesn't wanna miss me getting married.)
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 1:04 pm
Quote: 13 And this is the second thing you do:
You cover the altar of the Lord with tears,
With weeping and crying;
So He does not regard the offering anymore,
Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands.
14 Yet you say, "For what reason?"
Because the Lord has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.
15 But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit,
And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
16 "For the Lord God of Israel says
That He hates divorce,
For it covers one's garment with violence,"
Says the Lord of hosts.
Mal 2:13-16 (NKJV) God hates divorce. And as you can see from the above passage, dealing treacherously with your wife can have some very serious consequences. The Lord God Himself would witness against me if I dealt with my wife to be treacherously. That threat alone should be enough to stop some of the things that go on. But divorce is allowed, in the event of sexual immorality and adultery. Quote: 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." Matt 19:8-9 (NKJV) In the event of a Biblically unlawful divorce, I commit adultery, and I force whomever marries my exwife to commit adultery as well. Plus the divorce itself... That's at least three sins all in one act, fully two of which would be entirely my fault. So, divorce should be limited only to cases of sexual immorality and adultery. Quote: So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Matt 19:6 (NKJV)
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whatagirlwants Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:44 pm
VK Fox Quote: 13 And this is the second thing you do:
You cover the altar of the Lord with tears,
With weeping and crying;
So He does not regard the offering anymore,
Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands.
14 Yet you say, "For what reason?"
Because the Lord has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.
15 But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit,
And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
16 "For the Lord God of Israel says
That He hates divorce,
For it covers one's garment with violence,"
Says the Lord of hosts.
Mal 2:13-16 (NKJV) God hates divorce. And as you can see from the above passage, dealing treacherously with your wife can have some very serious consequences. The Lord God Himself would witness against me if I dealt with my wife to be treacherously. That threat alone should be enough to stop some of the things that go on. But divorce is allowed, in the event of sexual immorality and adultery. Quote: 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." Matt 19:8-9 (NKJV) In the event of a Biblically unlawful divorce, I commit adultery, and I force whomever marries my exwife to commit adultery as well. Plus the divorce itself... That's at least three sins all in one act, fully two of which would be entirely my fault. So, divorce should be limited only to cases of sexual immorality and adultery. Quote: So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Matt 19:6 (NKJV) What about abuse? Some people don't abuse their spouce but beat their kids. Others are charming and sweet until the vows are said then turn into monsters after words?
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:43 am
I was searching through the scriptures, and yes, God hates divorce. In Corinthians 7:10 - 15 "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace."
The way that it would seem to me is that the unbeliever would have to make the first move in divorce. And when is abusing the children, he would be clearly an unbeliever; because a believer would never do that.
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:56 am
I haven't yet seen any verses mentioning divorce and abuse excet that one from Malachi up there, which basically says "The Lord will take care of it." I know it's a difficult situation. I've had friends who have been in abusive marriages. Quote: 1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 1 Peter 3:1-2 (NKJV) It is possible to win this abusive man to Christ. Perhaps that is why the Father put the person in that marriage in the first place. Though please, don't think I support the abusers. It's disgusting and infuriating. But look at it this way. Measured against all of the eternity we will get to spend with the Lord, how long are our lives? You and I and every other person who has ever lived could hold hands. The length of your arms is your life, the rest is eternity. That still doesn't measure up to how long we get to be with the Father. Win your husband for your Lord. No matter what he does, we still don't want him to go to Hell. It's not just forever, it's forever. Quote: 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Eph 5:25-28 (NKJV) As a husband, it is my duty to make sure that my wife (who is one flesh with me) is pure and washed, so that I might present her to the Lord. And, if need be, the scriptures require me to die for her, as Christ died for his bride, the Church. Greater love hath no man than this: That a man lay down his life for his friend. Quote: 9 Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. Eccl 9:9 (NKJV) My fiance is not just my wife. She'll be one flesh. It'll be my God given duty to love her and care for her and make sure that when we get to the afterlife, she's there with me. She is my reward for the life of service that I will give to God. I wish that more men saw their better halves that way. But unfortunately, they do not. The wife can win her husband to God, and I am confident that the Lord will personally be a witness against any husband who does evil against his wife.
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