Welcome to Gaia! ::

Sorry I haven't been on much lately. I've had a lot going on internally. I've recently come to the realization of how much the Lord has taken care of me. Especially since friday when I got a check in the mail for more than enough money to find out what is wrong with my joints (my appt is Wed morning). As far as I can tell it started in 8th grade when I was suicidal and God said "my child I have great things in store for you," even though the bullying was the worst after that I felt immune to it.

Then when I was rebelling and trying to go my own way (ya I know I'm slow shut it) the Lord had his hand on me. He guided me and kept me safe. I never got an STD and the one pregnancy (other than my son) ended early and got me out of an abusive relationship. And that there, I was going to marry a homocidal schizo person who beat me but I was never severely injured and I saw him for who he was before it was too late. I didn't have a successful pregnancy until I was with the right guy. I never OD, I was never really addicted to anything, and there is no permanant damage from the drugs.

I had an oportunity to leave for the Air Force in jan of 08 but for reasons I could not explain I had to wait until my official ship out date in March. If I had left early I never would have met my husband. Then this past year we have been unemployed since March but we have not been in want. Every need, right down to cat food has been provided for. I can't even think of anything we would want or need for Christmas.

Why would the Lord take care of someone so insignificant? I haven't don't anything big? I'm no less a sinner than the average joe so what makes me so special that he would take such good care of me?