I remember my mother’s soft voice, her gentle hand brushing my hair from my face, when I would cry. Her sad eyes that always seemed to gaze only at the sunset. The words she would repeat, that seamed so unbelievable to me. “Neeko-chan the world has grown tired of man and the imbalance they have caused. The earth cries for us no more. It will take back all that it has given us, and in doing so the world will be saved only a few humans will live, as a sign of hope, that we will be able to learn from our mistakes. It is up to you to save us.” I remember her always ill, but somehow always strong. The pain she must have felt. The suffering she silently endured. When she could not walk she would crawl, never giving up. The world had long ago deemed her worthless, but some how that never bothered such a strong, gentle women. When she died she said only a few words to me, as She handed me an old leather bound book. “Neeko-chan it will begin now. You must save them. ” then she slowly closed her eyes. As a gentle breeze blew passed and gave wings to the rose petals that laid a crossed her now still body.
The day my mother died is the day no one will forget. Of, this I’m sure.
All my life I had listened to people around me tell me, my mother was crazy. But, now I see she could hear and see what others could not. I sat there by her side crying. As it started to rain. the rain was a gentle and sad. The rain fell to hide my tears, and I was grateful to the heavens. I felt ashamed for crying, but I could not stop the tears. I Fiercely wiped the tears away, that would not stop. My heart was in pain. It cried out unrelentingly, for the pain to stop, but it never would. I know that now. I know now that my mother held something within her that would not let the world crumble.
Something that I had to find within myself to save the ones I loved most in this world. Everything my mother knew was in a small leather book. I trembled as I opened the book. My eyes widened with shock as I read the first page.

10/24/1988
Neeko-chan I know you have yet to be born. In fact I’m only 12 years old, so it will be quite a while before I get to meet you. That’s okay. I’m happy to know one day I will meet you.
At first I will protect you.
I am the gatekeeper to all of heaven and hell. Though I did not ask for it. I will not reject it. It will cost me everything, I understand this, but its ok. Because I know I can do it. I can protect everyone and everything.
No matter the cost to me.
I will not fail!
I could do nothing but stare at those words, my mother had written so very long ago. She knew about me ten years before I was even born. How could that be? I flipped to the next page more nervous then scared.

2/14/1990
Neeko-chan it’s me again >.<
I have created a list of herbs for you. They will help you to heal people and animals that are sick.
Sorry there is so few. I’m really trying hard to find the herbs that you will be able to find and use. It’s hard because I don’t know where we will be when you are born.
Aloe is soothing, anti-inflammatory, and antibacterial - helps heal wounds of all kinds.
Comfrey is a time honored treatment for healing sores, bruises and healing broken bones.
the bright orange blossoms of calendula are anti-inflammatory, astringent, and antiseptic, calendula promotes new skin growth and inhibits bleeding. Gentle enough for children and animals.

I would not have long before the importance of this book would be revealed to me. I would not have time to greave my mothers passing. The world turned against us two days after my mother death. It came in the form of a storm at first. Winds tore trees from the ground. The rains flooded the cities. Boats where in high demand. However, with no power money became worthless. No more then just a way to start a fire. The basement of our house, which mother had never let anyone live in was now flooded. No running water. No drinking water. People were dying and I was supposed to save them. I could do nothing but watch as people fell. Small children cried out for help. Their parents dead. What could I do, but watch in horror. People began to fight one another. They fought for food, for shelter, for their lives. Why, why could they not see by fighting each other they were killing each other. If everyone helped then more would live…. Why was that so hard to understand.
The feeling of hopelessness gripped me, and once again my tears fell, as I embraced myself. My body trembling with fear. “ Neeko-chan don’t be afraid. It will be okay. We are a part of one another.” My mothers words rang in my head. “How, how was it going to be okay? People were dying that didn’t need to be!” I screamed out. In that instant I felt heavens warmth. I rose from the ground and walked out into the chaos. I walked not knowing where I was going. I was being lead by heavens light. Soon I found myself at the near by elementary school. There clinging to the toys. I found six small crying scared children. They couldn’t have been any older the 10. My heart trembled with sadness as I approached them. Softly I spoke. Lovingly holding my arms out to them. “come with me. I will protect you. No matter the cost to me.” my mothers words rang out in my own. Tears welled up as the children splashed through the water to me. I fell to my knees and embraced them. Wiping away their tears. A school? These children came here. I guess they had thought it would be safe here. Though the school had been locked and they were left out in the cold. They knew no other place to go. These poor children. I cried for them. For their sorrow, for their pain. I brought them back to my mothers house.
We dried their clothes and gave them food. That wasn’t enough a voice screamed in my head and my heart. I have to do more. I have to save all that I can.
As night fell and the world once again became quite. The sound of the unrelenting rain hitting the roof. In the distance you could hear the war people were raging against one another. It would reach us soon.
It had been a week since my mothers death now. For the first time since her death, I found my self in her room sitting on her bed. Mother had intended for me to live and to save others. She had to have left me a way. A door I have yet to find. A way to save everyone it must be hidden here in her room. Somewhere in here is the answer to my questions. I curled up on her bed and fell asleep.
That night I dreamed that she was sitting by the river. Her hair gently blowing in the wind. She shined with a soft blue light. Her voice was so soothing as she spoke. “ did I not leave you all that you need Neeko-chan? If you would open your heart and see past the pain you will find the answer to what you seek. My little Neeko-chan I have left you with such a burden. But, I have also left you hope. Can you not see it? It has been here the whole time.” she reach her hand out to me. In her hand was her old leather bound book. My mother was smiling in my dream. I had never seen my mother smile before. It was warm, and calming. I remember thinking she looked like an angel.
When I awoke her book was laying next to me. Next to her book was a long wooden box. Its hinges were silver there was no lock. I slowly opened the box. The inside of the box was crushed red velvet. A old torn piece of paper laid on a blue silk cloth. Written on it was:

How to save the world
Step one forgive
Step two compassion
Step three every living thing is equal
Step four give hope
Step five teach
Step six love
Step seven understanding
Step eight my book
Step nine this box
Step ten you

I lifted up the cloth that laid in the box. There in the box where small cloth bags. Each bag had a label tide to it. They where seed. All the tiny bags where full of different kinds of seeds. Each with a set of instructions on how to grow them in the flooded basement. I remember thinking if I could get these to grow we would have food. I laughed to myself. “Step four give hope”.
With eight small children and four teenagers, we had a small ray of hope. My mother had worked so hard in her life. She was met with pain and ridicule so we could have hope. She had lived her life so we could now have hope. So we would not be forgotten. My mother was the real one saving everyone not me. I could not have come this far without her. I was now armed with her hope for the world. The road ahead of all of us would be hard, but if I ever began to doubt she would be there. In her book she left me. In the way she lived her life. In the seeds she had stored away. In all these things she had put hope.
I turn again to her book

6/12/1999
Hope is so small. Its like a seed if you shelter and love it. If you allow the rays from your heart to reach it. It can become something great and powerful. It can become unstoppable.
Remember this Neeko-chan

I now understood what it was that she wanted me to do. She wanted me to give hope to others. I could save everyone with hope.
How childish I was back then.
The day after I planted the seeds in the basement the war reach my mothers house. The water had risen so high we could no longer see the ground. With no way to defend ourselves we fled out of the city. We traveled by boat. Which we had made with duct tape and sticks. The only things we took with us were my mothers book and the seeds that were left. In our two little boats that we had tied together with rope we traveled towards higher ground. We needed to find a place we could plant these seeds. The water was polluted so we could not fish for food. We grew hungrier with each passing day. The children started getting sick. I watched as I could do nothing. We would have to find ground soon or we would all die.
Mother what am I to do? I could not defend our home. I’m not strong like you. These thoughts haunted me, as we traveled. I began to lose hope. The youngest of our small group asked quietly “are we going to die?” I quickly with such force said “NO! we will not die. Not here. Not like this. Angels are watching over us. They lead me to you, and now they will lead us to a place where we can live.” I spoke these words though it didn’t sound like my voice. For a moment I was frightened by the sound coming from my own mouth. Where did this strength come from?
Along the our way we spotted a small dog yelping in a tree. I dove into the water and swam to it. Lifting it out of the tree. I carried it on my back to the boats. The children though sick brightened just a little. Every living thing is equal, rang out in my head. This little lost and scared dog now waged its tail happily and the children smiled and clung to it.
Further along our journey we saw a family of four huddled together on a roof top. A mother trying to comfort her young child as she cried. We had just enough duct tape to make one more boat. So the man and I built another boat and loaded him and his family into the boat.
The mans name was James but we just called him squid because he had been in the navy, a couple of years before the world turned on us. He knew how to navigate the water, by the stars. SO, we were no longer lost. He had brought a compass and a strange looking map. He said it was a map of the ground levels. Each set of lines on the mountains showed how high it was. We had a direction in which dry land might be. For a moment we felt at ease. As if we could really make it in our little makeshift boats. Hope was once again restored to us. It wouldn’t last. As the children got sicker. Squids wife became more and more crazed. Screaming at times. We are all going to die! Over and over again. Till one night while the boat float peacefully on the water. She took her own life. After that squid didn’t speak anymore. So full of grief. His two daughters crying for their mother.
Two weeks had passed the children sick from eating the raw polluted fish. Would I find hope in my mothers book? Once again I turned to my mother to save us from this hell.
10/31/2000
Neeko-chan there is liquid silver in one of the pouches of seeds I left you. Give a dropper full to each person. It will help their bodies heal.
I love you Neeko-chan

I was left wondering if my mother had seen all the suffering that was now happing. Had she been able to see everything that would happen after her death. What kind of person was my mother? Was this why she never smiled? So many question I would never find the answers to. The pain once again welled up in my heart. So much suffering. Was it all necessary?