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 Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:18 pm
 Write anonymous letters here to people who you can't send them to.
Make sure to not use names...use letters, numbers. symbols...but no names.
Please do not reply back and forth in letters.
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:29 pm
Dear >
You have no idea what you put me through. I may smile everyday and be fine as you think, but now the simplest thing sets me off and sends me into a panic...remembering what happened that morning on October 4th, 8:36am...
The words 'Happy Birthday' bring tears to my eyes now. When people say "Oh, sorry I missed your birthday...Happy Birthday", I cry. I can't go to hospitals anymore...I can't watch shows involving hospitals, I can't be near people snoring. I panic when people hold their breath, I have to make sure people are breathing...people and animals.
You scarred me and I wish you understood how deeply...
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:21 pm
Dear @$$#073,
There are so many places to start with this one, but rightfully, we will break it down from the beginning (this being something I wish so badly you could read so you know your damage).
Before we got married, I'll admit that there were a few red flags you threw off that I should have run from, but all of us at some point in time in our lives have that horribly idiotic moment where we do or think things we usually don't due to being blinded. You masked yourself so well at first, coming off as wanting to further your life with someone you cared about, wanting to pick it back up and do better than the drugged out life you ran away from back in Texas. Dear lord, did you have me fooled.
After we said "I do", you came out of your pretty little shell, showing me deep down the kind of monster I eventually ended up marrying. Manic depressive, schizophrenic, usually drunk, and hopped up on whatever you could get your hands on, I always feared what kind of state I would be coming home to. Controlling, manipulative, so abusive...
You made me give up everything that I held dear, made me do and put up with things that I would have NEVER done for ANYONE. You tore me away from my own family in an effort to control me! I gave you everything, and yet all you did was take and take and take, leaving me empty and dried up. And yet I had no choice but to give in and give you what you wanted, all for the sake of just a few seconds of half-assed peace. You ran us out of money, giving into your addictions, even going as far as to cheat on me with your b***h of a coke dealer. And yet daily, you would become angrier at me for not giving in completely, not drinking with you, not giving into your addictions. I stuck to what was natural, never taking what you shoved at me out of self preservation, choice, and the need to be alert and on my toes for whatever hell you were going to continue to cause next.
With every promise that it would stop was another night that it grew worse. Your friends, at least the ones that watched out for me out of fear for my own life, warned me of the downward spiral you were taking, one that I had already seen coming and was waiting for. It just took waiting for you to slip up enough to get you locked up. And blessed be, you presented that opportunity, becoming obsessive over the imaginary thought that I was cheating on you with the maintenance man at work, the whole cheating thing being something that you could never quite get over even though there was NOTHING for you to base that thought off of in the first place. You were so far gone, I don't even think you know wholly what you did that day, and if it wasn't for Lupa being with me, I fear I wouldn't even be alive. Swinging my own 150 year old katana at me, my sword, my closest weapon to me...thank you for the whole new level of betrayal. Might as well take away a marine's rifle and shoot that soldier with it.
Mom had wondered what took me so long, wondering if it was just a matter of waiting for the point where I couldn't take it anymore. The woman is partially right. I was done with you long ago, but it was a matter of waiting until you were locked up so I could safely get away and get the paperwork going, because I knew you would be psycho enough to come after me. If I hadn't have waited, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn't have gotten out at all. You loved the control you had and wouldn't have wanted to let it go, being too power hungry for your own damn good.
You drug me through hell and back again more times than I want to even awknowledge over the two years we were married. I have faced many demons in my yet short lifetime, but you were by far the worst I have faced so far. Yet, as with comes with that double edge to a sword, I must thank you. You were a life lesson learned, as some would think, far too early, one that will never be repeated. And without it, I don't think I would be able to appreciate the truly wonderful man I have in my life now. You have made me a stronger woman than I was before.
I had hoped that the courts would be merciful and grant me a sooner date, but at least I have March to look forward to for that. Of course you won't be there for me to tear down in front of the judge, you're currently running with a warrant on your head because you simply couldn't check in with your PO (guess I should thank you for that one, too).
You were one of those few boulders in the everflowing river of life, one that I have moved on from, gratefully and as gracefully as possible. The new life I've been building is a far healthier and happier one than you could have ever provided for me, and it's with a man who actually cares, a man who actually shows his appreciation, concern, love, and support.
You tried to break me, tried to control me, mentally and physically beat the s**t out of me. And yet here I stand, stronger, still without a thought of giving up or taking my own life as you thought I would want to. Tried and failed miserably, didn't you?
Once again, I loathe and thank you at the same time.
Sincerely, your ex-wife
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:17 pm
Dear M,
I'm getting a little tired of sitting here waiting. I'm so scared of how I feel for you. You're so trustworthy, but I find myself wondering if I should trust you. It's not all your fault, they've scarred me. You know what you did, you were the only one there through it all. I just can't wait for you to be out here to hold me like I know we both want. But why are you still with her? You told me how you feel for me, you know I feel the same. Everyone says you shouldn't be with her, do you know what she says about you? She doesn't even know me and she kept complaining to me about you. I wanted to slap her, she doesn't deserve you. She doesn't understand you. All those things she doesn't like about you, I know about them and they don't bother me. I wish things would have worked out while I was still there and I hope someday I'll be back and things will work out then. Until then, you seriously need to get rid of her. You guys aren't right for each other. I'm sorry to tell you that, but I see it. It looks like she finds you more as a friend than what you are. And you say you want me as more than a friend. Isn't the answer obvious? I miss you.
Yours truly,
Falling for you heart
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 6:43 am
Dear >
5 long years of faithful love, you said it would last forever, you said we were meant to be, when I first met you, you were like an angel sent from heaven to this pathetic unworthy girl, you treated me like the most precious of gems, as I did you, if ever there was a girl that matched me it was you, no one could fill your shoes.
As time went on my love for you grew, while yours stayed the same, you would not touch me, or physically show your love, you left me starved and alone at night, craving your warm embrace. I began to worry, my grades in school dropped, it's been 2 years since we got together, I fall into a depression, wondering why you act this way, you say you love me yet you never show it.
The day you came to me and said he's the one, my heart shattered, spouting how it's alright to have a girlfriend and a boyfriend at the same time. I disagree with you and you get angry at me... 4 years together now and you defend him over me constantly, despite his threats towards me, telling me to go away, I try to tell you but i'm ignored... my angel is becoming a demon... my heart can't take much more...
5 years together... barely... it finally happens, you lay with the man and fornicate, and have the nerve to tell me about it, i've had enough, all the love i've given you has not been returned, instead they're met with you spitting in my face, I remain a virgin because of your inability to make love to another woman, you say you're bi but you do nothing but treat me like a bad friend, i'm done, I want things to change right now, I talk to you about all of these things and you show no love in your eyes as you cuss me out and tell me to go and never come back... dumping me when I was the one being abused... my heart is a void, I hope you choke on his appendage for what you did to me, 5 years together... and you do this to me, you've no heart....
This is the letter I wanted to send you, but you aren't worth it...
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:49 am
Dear heart ;
I didn't realize how much I would miss you once you left for the Holidays. Last night...it felt so funny and so...fresh. Texting back and forth as though we were fresh lovers just starting out. And even sending naughty pictures back and forth was just so enticing. I always hated doing that, but it was so nice with you. I never liked to talk about dirty things, either, but you got me to do that as well. I loved placing my phone next to my bed with a picture of you and falling asleep as though we just met and I've fallen into a schoolgirl state.
I guess no matter how much you annoy and piss me off, you will always be that person I look to for a smile and a warm heart. You have always taken me and held me with such loving arms. The fact you told your ex I was the 'girl of your dreams' just stole me all over again. You may not shout to the world you love me, but when we are together, you hug me so gently and whisper sweet words all too honestly.
I don't know if I can honestly put back everything I know and love from home to move down the country to Florida with you. I am scared to leave my family and friends...and my jobs. Could I manage to get a good job down there?
Like I told you, lets plan to go in a couple of months to visit your mother...if we like it and I can find potential jobs, than we can save up and go. But until then, let's just keep as we are, alright?
<3
Jessi
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 8:30 pm
Dear 1;;
Okay, so it took forever for things to mend, but I find you are taken. You were so playful and said over and over again how you planned to leave her and how much you loved me and when I let loose in playing around, you yelled at me and pushed me away. WTF!
Dear 2;;
I loved you, love you, and will always love you and I wish you would love me back...
Dear 3;;
I can't believe you think he's better than me...I just wish we could live in my Father's kitchen like that first night forever. You in my arms crying out your fear and pain and me telling you the world would be alright because I would forever protect you.
Dear ******** YOU!
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:04 pm
Dear J,
How blind are you? Stop it, just stop it! I don't like you, not even as a friend, so leave me alone! You screwed me over and then made it all about how I was hurting you. You cheated on me, you slept with a chick I was becoming friends with because she was your friend. You betrayed me. You lied to me. I didn't even find out from you, I found out from her. Then you bitched about how I was hurting you and you were already hurting from cheating. Yea, right, obviously not enough to have told me the truth sooner. A whole month with that damn facade. Go f yourself. Don't think you can win me back over, I know all you want me for is sex, then you'll leave me again. So, tell me again, who needs to grow up?
Dear C,
Why do you seem to not realize something's wrong? Hello, did you not remember all the times you degraded me? Ordered me around? Beat me? You don't even deserve the explanation. You hurt me worse than I've ever been hurt. I wasted 2 years thinking you would change, thinking you would stop calling me an idiot and hurting me in every way possible. You took me away from my family, my friends, my college, my whole life. You almost ruined my life. If I didn't have caring parents I might still be there or maybe in an abused women's shelter. I don't even want to think the very worst that might have happened...don't think you're being all cute and funny when you message me out of nowhere. I don't give a damn that you're acting like nothing bad ever happened between us. I know it did. My therapist does too. Yes, that's right, I had to go to f'ing therapy because of what you did to me. And, just so you know, all those guys we used to hang out with, the ones that used to be your friends? They hate you now. I didn't tell them the whole story, but I told them enough. When I come back out there, I'm going to see them, don't dare think of showing up 'cause I won't hold them back. You're not worth it.
Really hope people outside of the guild can't read this...my exes sometimes stalk me and these are, obviously, about them...
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 6:54 pm
Dear You!
Everytime I think about you I smile and cry at the same time. I don't know anyone who could make me do this so hard and so much. You were so beautiful and sweet and loving and we shared so much. From every gentle kiss to every loving hug. Cuddling on the couch and tickling one another. Even the perverted little jokes back and forth took my breath away...
I held all your dark secrets, but that one day we went out and I saw him...I knew I'd lose you to him without a problem...and no matter what you say to me, I know I will never be above him enough to have you back as mine. Oh gawd I love you so much. My family loved you...they said I hit the jackpot with you. They said you were simply beautiful and seemed to fit me perfectly.
What went wrong...
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 5:00 am
Dear Heart (what's left of ******** you and die!
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:51 am
Dear You;;
Omg, I can't decide how to feel toward you anymore!! You do the stupidest things and piss me off to all hell, than do something that sweeps me off my feet and makes me cry so happily. Thank you so much for the gift...you proved you have listened to me all this time. Whether it be a subtle hint or just an innocent gesture, I love it all the same. If this is a purposal, you'll probably get the answer you're hoping for.
Now all you need to do is hold down a job. >.<
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 8:06 pm
Dear "abcdefghiklmnopqrstuvwxyz"
I don't know whether or not to say that I still love you. In my heart I know I do. But I love him too. Either way I end up hurting the both of you, even unintentionally at times. It's frustrating. Sometimes I can make you happy, and him sad, and Him happy, and you said. It's like this whole thing is a double edged sword.
I do love **** quite a bit. I feel safe with him. As safe as I did that night in the kitchen.
But as it turns out, I'm a f*ck up and can never keep anyone happy or do anything right...
I made **** Happy this christmas eve, but I probably ended up hurting you...
heart
Krissy
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 8:12 pm
Dear dramallama ,
I have never cried soo hard from being soo happy. I asked for something and it turns out I didn't even want it. Now I could care less about it. This means soo much more to me than that. I love you more than anything. You made my Christmas eve the best one ever.
Always and Forever
Krissy
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Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 11:40 am
Dear Not-Be-Named;
I loved you, I really, really loved you, I would have given an arm for you if needed. Looks like I wasn't enough, you forgot about me, forgot about my feelings, you just left me all alone.
Now, that I've found my one and only true love, you appeared again in my life, saying you still love me - this only made those old wounds on my heart re-open.
I can't return your love any more, and you can't return my friendship as just a friend would.
I'm sorry.
Cynthia~
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Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:33 am
Dear X,
For almost two years, I tought you were a really good friend, understanding, sharing my beliefs, my interests. Even though I had a feeling you were trying to get my attention, or maybe more, I was just as understanding.
But, I have a life to get together normally. I know you are not happy that I can't talk with you that much. And I didn't bother about you being so paranoid that you added me on three adresses, just to check on me. But if you start acting like an offended kid, thinking I forgot about you as a friend, and even saying I don't think of you as a friend anymore - then, I don't have anything to say to you from now on.
Except that you turned into a sick, no-life paranoid <******** you, and go die.
Sincerely,
Your former "friend", Cynthia.
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