|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:07 am
 Life's not fair. It's just worth it.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:55 am
Dear Diary,
I'm supposed to meet Sivan tomorrow at the Fire Butterfly. He'll be giving me information on the Naught and this pretty box. The design is so intricate. I wonder what's inside. I guess I'll need to find the key...
Sivan is so cute! His stand had the most amazing stuff. -sigh- This hunt for a boyfriend is getting ridiculous. I mean, all I want to do is find that one person and settle down. Maybe one day. And I'm still holding out for Niyami, even though he's with her. I seriously sound like a whiny romance novel. Hopefully I've got a happy ending in store one day...
Love Forever
Nana
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:44 pm
Dear Diary,
So I'm wandering around town today, just deciding to waste time. It started because of the conversation I had with Niyami last night. He wouldn't stop gushing about how beautiful and sweet she was. I know that I'm one of his best friends, but can't he see that I've liked him since before she came around? But then again, she is such a sweet person. I care for her, too. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this. I have to get my heart off of him.
I started to fiddle with the box this morning. It's locked really well, and I can't get inside. The art is just breath-taking, though. This butterfly is so pretty.
I fell asleep with the Naught next to me. It soothes my heart. I think I'm getting obsessive.
Hopefully things will find a way to work themselves out. Sivan will have some answers. Or at least he should.
And a note to myself: Mona's has the best burgers anywhere. I wonder if Niyami knows about this place.
I think I'll go to the BIT* and waste some time before I go to see Sivan. The Fire Butterfly isn't too far away.
Love Forever
Nana
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 8:09 am
Dear Diary,
I'm home, finally. Today was odd, to say the least. I'm going to cover it as I remember.
So, after my entry at lunch, I wandered over to BIT*. I met others who have Naughts like me, like Zho and Giger. Miles, the one with long hair, had a fully awakened Naught, a Haltia. Her name was Hime, and she had to be the most precious thing I've seen in ages. She got all huffy about her boot missing, forcing Miles to hunt for it. I just wanted to cuddle her up and give her everything she needed. I hope to encounter everyone again some day. With all of us having Haltia, we'll need to meet up and let them interact from time to time, I assume. We're going to meet up later at that little bakery down the way, and Giger and I will pay for Hime to stuff herself full of sweets. I don't think I can resist.
After spending time with everyone, I was almost late to see Sivan. He was sitting in the Fire Butterfly, pretty as you please. But most importantly, he showed me something that I can't begin to describe, I can only tell you about it lightly. Underneath that eye patch was a pretty light blue eye, and in it, was the Geisha, Cho-san's last memory. She was pregnant with the child of the love of her life, and he completely destroyed her, ruined her life. She wound up dying in the snow, cold and alone. According to Sivan, he one wish is to be a dancer again. Once I use the key to open her box, I'll be working on it. I've already got some ideas in my head of what to do, but I'm going to keep them quiet for a while, until things firm up.
The hardest part of watching Shizue's sorrow was having to relive my own. I haven't shared that period of my life with you, because I was too busy trying to not destroy myself and everyone else. Keeping a diary was only at the suggestion of my therapist.
When I was young, I fell in love. I don't dare speak his name. It would kill me even now. We were designed for each other, fitting in every way possible. So after I became pregnant, he beat me. The day I told him, I almost lost my life. I did lose my child. And now he is in jail, rotting for as long as feasibly possible for ruining my self-esteem and my life. I know now that things are better without him, but I still miss my child.
And now that I'm crying, I'm going to shut this book tonight. I'm going to try to open the box once I pull myself together. Shizue deserves better than her first moments back, to have me bawling my eyes out. I'll be a proper person, even if it takes until the morning.
Love Forever
Nana
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 12:47 pm
Dear Diary,
So last night was a difficult one. I got another call from Niyami, and instead of him listening to my problems, he begged me for advice on how to talk to Lyn. Needless to say, when I got off the phone, I was crying harder. Damn him. As soon as I can set my heart free, I intend to. I can't wait around for that love-sick fool forever.
But now to the things that need to be mentioned. I'm about to open the beautiful box. I'll update you when I get done.
Nana took a deep breath as she laid the Naught, the Versteckt, and the Portal all on the table. She said a silent prayer, hoping that she was the one that Shizue would choose. But first things first. Taking the key in her hand, she placed it in the lock and closed her eyes as she turned it. With a soft click, Nana released the breath she was holding. She opened the box carefully, and found the soul-sphere inside. As she picked it up in her hands, she could sense Shizue's spirit in her hands. A whispered promise came from her lips. “Shizue, Cho-san, as soon as I find a way, I will help you become a famous dancer once again. Please, help me to help you along this journey.” She placed the sphere to her lips softly, sealing the deal with a kiss. Nana pushed the now-empty box back on her desk, closing the lid. In and of itself it was beautiful, but it was the precious sphere she held that was the most important to her. She held it in her left hand as she bent to write in her journal again with her right hand.
So inside the box, instead of clothes and hair that I had been thinking all along, was a little marble-like sphere. I can feel Shizue's spirit radiating from it. I know that this Butterfly was meant for me, and I feel so honored to have her presence near me. Maybe, just maybe, we'll be friends. I hope she can impart a bit of her poise into me. I always seem like such a flighty girl when I'm around my friends. I'd love to be able to walk in, keep my cool, and walk out with the boys saying 'Wow, did you see her?' Not just the boys. Just him. Damnable hell, I'm thinking about him again! I need to get my mind away from him! But that picture of he and I on vacation two years ago sitting on the desk doesn't help any.
I'm going to put it away tonight.
Love Forever
Nana
And with that, Nana removed the photograph of the green-haired boy and her, laughing at a convention. She placed the frame in one of her desk drawers, and laid her head down where she sat. She didn't have the heart to move. It was the only way she was going to turn the page.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 1:43 pm
Dear Diary,
I got a compliment on my necklace today. A couple of girls from the art department asked me where they could get one themselves. With a laugh just off from me, I mentioned Thonny's shop. While it's doubtful that either of them will find anything that looks like this there, I didn't lie. I've been a lot calmer since I put the Soul Sphere on a necklace. Maybe a bit of Shizue is rubbing off on me, or I want to be a bit less flighty around her, so I'm trying to hold myself a bit higher.
Niyami and Lyn and I all went out to lunch. We talked about the new project, and I'm absolutely in love with Lyn's ideas. She's really talented, and I'm so jealous of her red hair. I can't keep dye in my hair to save my life. It stays this natural Japanese black. Maybe I should bleach it? But blonde wouldn't fit me. And it would wreck the ends. I'll decide later.
I think he told her that he was into her yesterday. She blushed a few times looking at him. But it didn't bother me too much. I have closed that chapter, and I will stay their friend forever.
Meeting Zho and Giger at Miles and Hime's place this weekend. I'm inordinately excited. I've already got all my spices pulled out and ready. I can't imagine that he's that bad of a cook though. I guess I'll see soon.
Love Always
Nana
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:08 am
Dear Diary,
This week is taking forever to pass by. I keep seeing posters for other Haltia owners to meet up. Guess I'll be heading by there later. But it's still early, and I've got the day off of work. My boss noticed my work slipping and declared me on a sick day for the rest of the week. She's probably seen my issues with the certain green-haired member of the team. How pathetic am I, that my boss gives me time off because I'm putting my own self through the pain of watching him.
I'm dreaming about her life now. Shizue is coming into my dreams. I watched her childhood last night, the beginning of her training. She was a cute little girl, and already so talented with dance. Her shamisen sucked, though. I'm going to, probably, have to brush up on my own skills. Mom was ahead of her time realizing that I might need it one day. Someone has to play while she dances. I guess it will be me.
A smidgen of lust,
Nana
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 11:38 am
Dear Diary,
I freaked out at work today. I don't know why I didn't think about it earlier, but Shizue is going to need furniture her size, and dishes and clothes. I mean, Hime has a whole ensemble of furniture for her. So after work, I hit the shops around town. I managed to get a set of four doll-sized chairs, plates, everything she could possibly need on a daily basis. I also picked up a sewing machine in case she wants a variety of clothes. I can make them all for her.
So after my emotional flip, and bringing all my stuff back here, I decided a night out on my own would be awesome. But then again, this town is only so big. Giger was tending at Naught. And we got drunk together. And then sober again. And right now she is sleeping nude in my bed. I hope that I made myself clear enough earlier that a relationship is what I'm after. Not a one-night stand, not someone to just sleep with when the need strikes. I want something serious. And with her. -sighs- She's really a sight, I can tell you that much. I'm going to climb back in bed.
Goodnight!
Nana
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:05 am
Video Entry #1
Nana grinned at the camera. “Hi Diary! It's time for Shizue's awakening, and I'm using you to record it. Who knows, it might come in handy later. She's been sleeping since I left Alain's mansion. I'm going to keep you recording until we have a response. Let's hope everything goes okay!” She took a step back and sat at the table, keeping an eye on Shizue as the clock ticked away. But soon...
The Butterfly opened her eyes.
Blinking back the brightness, she moved a hand in front of her face to shield it slightly. Why was it so blinding? She brought herself into a sitting position. Deeming that her legs were quite improper throws out in front of her like so. She moved so that they were tucked in beside her. She looked up to the girl near her, madly puzzled. Her eyes must have been playing tricks on her, because she were much bigger than what she should have been. She bowed in front of her, begging her indulgence as she asked, “Excuse me, but where am I?”
Nana smiled, bowing to her as well. “You're in a town called Wünschenhimmel. Welcome, Cho-san.”
Shizue patted her head gently, checking that her hair was still in order. Her kimono was still crisp and clean. Presentable. Until I find a mirror, I can't check my make-up. She bowed again, looking around for anything she might recognize. A tea set? Some sake? She needed to introduce herself properly, but nothing was available to her. So she took a deep breath. “Please, allow me to introduce myself properly. I am The Butterfly. It will be my pleasure to entertain you this evening.”
“Entertainment? I'm sorry, Butterfly, but I believe you have made an improper assumption.” Nana was thrown by this doll, more elegant and graceful than herself by a long shot. “I am Nana, and I will be your guardian in your journey to attain your final dream. I hope that we can be good friends.”
The Butterfly dismissed the thought silently. She was a geisha, not the type to have friends. Only patrons and fans did she have experience with. She stood, pulling a fan from her kimono. “May I dance for you, Nana-san?”
Giving her assent, her heart was swollen with tenderness for this little female. Nana wanted to hug her, but she wondered when things would come back to her. When will she realize what has happened?
She started her dance, a piece designed to be done without music. Her mind was spinning quickly, processing things. At this moment I don't have any more than this woman and myself. She is my guardian, she said. To keep myself in her favor. She already has the roll of patron, I assume. But the bond of fan will need to be cultivated. I wonder... Is friendship an option? It's a novel idea.
After she finished her dance, the Butterfly fell to her knees. Her memories washed over her painfully. She cried out as she wrapped her hands around her stomach. The pain! The sorrow! Her heart almost audibly broke as she looked up to Nana. “What has happened to me?”
Nana touched her back, doing her best to support the geisha in record time. “Butterfly? What's wrong? Are you okay?” She poured her a small glass of water for her. “Is everything all right?”
The Butterfly shook her head, burying her face in her hands. “Of course not! My baby left me as well? Of all the people in the world, even my own little child! My life was betrayal after betrayal.” She looked up to Nana, tears in her eyes. “It was the last bit of my life... My love for the Prince, his rejection, my being ostracized from the geisha community. And my death. It was so cold. Did I not pass on because of the water around me?”
Nana rubbed her back, shaking her head. “I couldn't tell you why you are still here. I know I've been charged with a mission. I'm supposed to help you become a famous dancer once again.” She pulled a shamisen from under her bed and leaned it against the table. She reached back to touch the Butterfly's shoulder. “I'm terribly sorry for all your losses. But they are all the past. They cannot hurt you physically now.” She held a small handkerchief out to her for her to dry her eyes. “I am here now, and I won't leave you.”
She nodded, drying her face. “Forgive me. I'm probably a mess. I don't want to be seen in public like this.”
Shaking her head, she laughed softly. “You're not in public. You're at my home, safe and sound. It will be your home now. But I have a proposition for you. Since this is your new chance at life, a new body at all, I want to call you by your original name. Would that be okay?”
Furrowed brows only added to the beauty of her features. “I... I don't know if I remember my name. It was a long, long time ago, Nana-san.”
With a soft smile, she leaned down, looking at her directly. “Your name is Shizue. And I'm glad to introduce you to your new life.”
Entry End
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:17 pm
Nana has given me a book, small and delicate, to record my thoughts and ideas in now that I am starting to remember things. I wasn't sure that I still knew how to write, but as I sit here with a pen, I realize that the kanji that made up my home language is never quite forgotten, much like my inherent knowledge of the Japanese language. Although I find that my default language in conversation is English itself. I wonder if it is some strange transition from my once-body to Haltia. Either way, I am now bi-lingual. But on to my musings. That's what this book is for, after all.
I'm beginning to remember my mother quite well. She was as beautiful as an angel, but as mean as a demon. I remember, when I was very young, she would leave the okiya at night while I practiced my dancing. She still was a beautiful woman, and had to work to support the home.
One night, she came back very early. I didn't quite understand what she was saying, except one of her favored patrons had offended her. She took it on herself to guide my dance that night. As I brought my arm down in what I thought was a graceful arc, she snapped her fan over my head. I heard a snap and cried out as Mother yelled, "Fingers perfectly straight! Don't wiggle them about like that!"
My left hand, while normal in appearance, always trembled when I danced from then on. I like to think it was in rebellion, but now I know that she damaged the nerve endings. But, then again, it helped give me my name. The Butterfly flutters when she is happiest, right?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
