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 Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 3:36 pm
So I was at work the other day and we were just closing up. It was just me and two other cashiers shutting down the cashes at the parking lot doors. One girl, the new girl, left because she was done shutting down her cash, and so the other girl who I was actually starting to become work-buddies with turns to me and starts talking about how the new girl came out to her that day as a lesbian and she found it really weird. She said she was really freaked out about it and she found it weird, but she kept defending herself saying "but I'm okay with it!". Obviously not.
I had no clue what to do. I felt bad for the new girl because this girl was being so unsupportive of her, and telling me how weird it was, but I couldn't find it in myself to do anything about it, which I also felt bad about. I just said, "it's weird that she would come out to you so randomly. I wouldn't bring it up unless it was brought up in the conversation" but I never defended her, which I probably should have. On the other hand, coming out at work was probably not such a good idea. Or maybe it's just that I don't have the balls to do it and she does? I don't know. I'm not sure what to do if the other girl starts talking to me about it again.
I don't want to act like a b***h and pretend like I agree with her completely that it's weird, but I don't have the balls to stand up for the other girl. -sigh-
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Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 2:04 pm
Billy Breakin Forks So I was at work the other day and we were just closing up. It was just me and two other cashiers shutting down the cashes at the parking lot doors. One girl, the new girl, left because she was done shutting down her cash, and so the other girl who I was actually starting to become work-buddies with turns to me and starts talking about how the new girl came out to her that day as a lesbian and she found it really weird. She said she was really freaked out about it and she found it weird, but she kept defending herself saying "but I'm okay with it!". Obviously not.
I had no clue what to do. I felt bad for the new girl because this girl was being so unsupportive of her, and telling me how weird it was, but I couldn't find it in myself to do anything about it, which I also felt bad about. I just said, "it's weird that she would come out to you so randomly. I wouldn't bring it up unless it was brought up in the conversation" but I never defended her, which I probably should have. On the other hand, coming out at work was probably not such a good idea. Or maybe it's just that I don't have the balls to do it and she does? I don't know. I'm not sure what to do if the other girl starts talking to me about it again.
I don't want to act like a b***h and pretend like I agree with her completely that it's weird, but I don't have the balls to stand up for the other girl. -sigh- Am I cursed to be your puppet, to have you pull on my strings? Coming out is difficult, period. So, first off I'd like to commend her for doing it. Next, it's not weird at all to want to be open about who you are. Just because your friend is homophobic, shouldn't mean that your co-worker should have to hide who she is.
That being said, it's not your responsibility to stand up for her, but if you feel uncomfortable by what your friend's saying, then tell her you don't want to talk about her behind her back like that.
Even when I was in the closet, I stood up for the community. People'd use words like dyke or f**, and I'd let them know that those words were offensive to me because I had gay and lesbian friends, and I didn't appreciate them using them. It's just up to each of us to do our parts to teach people because ignorance is our biggest enemy. I try to move on my own, but you won't even let me breath.
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Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:40 pm
Totally agreed with Robbie very sound advice wink
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Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 1:47 pm
I agree with the above advice, but I would like to add something.
The girl who came out has a lot of courage, and if you become friends with her I would suggest being a good listener about it. If you arn't too uncomfortable about it, it is always good to lend an ear to someone in need.
Also, the girl who found it weird is more then likely weirded out due to her thinking she will be hit on or somthing. As long as boundries are set, sexuallity should matter about as much as eye color. Basically, a work place is not place to deiscriminate or let others do so just bedcause they misunderstand a situation.
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Andylion of Dafadils Crew
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