I have obsessions. They come and go.. and may never stay or may never come back. That is okay with me, but I never know how others feel about it. I want to be accepted... but at the same time I want to be me.

I wish I had eternity to sort everything out. Like a Vampire. I would take immortality and bloodlust and death over the frailty of human existence. It is so meaningless and mundane. I feel powerless at times, and it is because I am.

But then there is something screaming inside of me that has been planted by so many lectures, advice, tips, and best friends... no I am worth it. No I am meant to be here. I chose this life for a reason. On and on.

What was that reason? My old soul is wondering why it keeps going on? My old soul wanted to be depressed? Seriously why cant it just tell me. Why do we have to live not knowing about our 'true purpose'?

Or is it all just lies... lies and deceit and us just fooling ourselves. We can imagine SO much! Why can't we live it?