Welcome to Gaia! ::

The Christian God was always my parents God. I knew the bible inside out and had grown up on it but it wasn't for me. When I started 8th grade I was the only one who hadn't gone there the year before except for the 6th graders who had all gone to the same elementry school. I was an easy target and quickly became the most popular girl to pick on. If you wanted to make sure you weren't the bottom you picked on me. I won't go into the details of all they did but ask if me if they did it and the answer is probably yes. Now if this Chistian loving God was real then why would I suffer so much just for being new? And if this God is supposed to give his love to his followers and my parents were followers then why would they turn a blind eye?

Very soon I decided to eat in the hall. The ringleader of it all and the cutest guy in school saw me and told me He loved me but couldn't show it in front of everyone because of his reputation...ya know that whole load of bull. He kissed me and we would have secret rondevues in the halls. If someone caught us he would smack me and call me a slut or something else to that nature. He always made me feel like it was my fault. Even though he was mean most of the time on the days I had those sweet meetings I was less likely to cut myself so I craved it.

I won't go into the details I will just say that he said he would make the beatings and really cruel names stop if I did him a favor and I backed out and he got his favor anyways and then he didn't follow through and made things even worse for me. I wanted my pain to stop and I didn't have the means to kill them...yes I fantasized about it...So I decided to end my life instead. I didn't want to die I just wanted to stop hurting. So I called out to this God I didn't believe for any other way. He wrapped his arms around me and said "My child I have great things in store for you."

Now I'm slow so I didn't follow him right away. From that day on I did believe in the Judea-Christian God but I thought I could control my life. In 9th grade I decided to make sure it wouldn't happen again and fell into the rave scene and everything associated with it. It wasn't until I was 18 and pregnant, living in filth(I had to shave my head to keep the lice away), living with a guy that I only met 4 months earlier...Thank God he was the one...and unemployed looking for my next high that I got a reality check. This is where control of my life got me.

We moved back to the city and within a week got a flyer for a nearby church. I didn't want to go because my parents church had burned me pretty bad and I have pretty crummy parents they claim to be Christians. But my now husband said one week wouldn't hurt so I went. I saw what real Christians were like and last November decided to follow Christ instead of just believing in him. Now I don't have a job but other than that things are going great. I was able to quit everything cold turkey and have a beautiful healthy 8 month old baby boy. He brought me to Christ and one day I look forward to returning the favor.

Oh my GOD! That is one of the most touching stories ive ever heard! Im glad everything is going better now! That's God for ya always forgiving and giving ! crying