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 Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:18 pm
Distant, cold and alone,
Fighting for air, for a breath…
Cold air flowing around your hands,
Eyes frozen shut, plunged into perpetual darkness.
Few know how life truly is,
The forever darkness we live in.
All this hatred and sorrow,
This miserable reality we all have to cope with.
And how many more will it take?
How many lives are you willing to give?
Is it not enough, to have given again and again,
To have all you ever loved, ever wanted, stolen?
We all have some form of darkness,
Some negativity in our lives.
This horrible outlook holds us back,
When we could accomplish so much more.
Are you all really that blind?
Could you truly believe in something
That does not believe in you?
Something you cannot see?
You are deaf to the cries of the world.
These children around you,
Pleading and begging you all for help.
Tugging at your pants leg… At your heart.
Are you truly so heartless as to ignore them…
Light up the darkness.
Let your passions and love shine through all.
And never allow yourself to fall.
Beliefs pressed upon us all,
Lives taken at the expense of others.
We are all just animals in the end…
That’s why we created religion and politics
Believe in who you are.
If nothing else, believe in those you love.
Because in the end, that is all you have.
All you will ever have…
Never let go, Never let up.
Light up this darkness with hope, trust and love.
And always hold on to the things most important to you.
Vincent, SN
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Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 3:44 pm
Overall, the poem seems vague but in a very symbolic way. Some of your word choice is strange, and doesn’t quite fit your rhyme scheme. Your first stanza reminds me of suffocation in the snow, your second stanza reminds me of someone who would willingly close themselves in a closet, the third reminds me of self-sacrifice and the sacrifice of others, the fourth and fifth remind me of irony, the sixth reminds me of guilt. So far, I don’t see one true connection, but I do see many points trying to be made at once. It is well written however, I like it.
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