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 Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 4:27 pm
I still love my ex, but I've been able to let her go. Even though every time she gets stressed she comes running back to me and begging me to give her another chance. Its hard to turn her down, but i want whats best for her and that's not me.
I blame myself a good bit for my ex being in the hospitable right now. (too long of story to go on about.)
I've never even kissed a guy yet. All my firsts happened with my ex, but I'm with a guy right now soo that will change soon. He s never kissed a girl before.
I m still a little mad at my ex. She promised me forever along with a lot of other things and she broke her promises, when even now I keep mine. Not only that but she cheated on me!
I've loved/love three people in my life so far. The first was just little kid love and it never led anywhere because the guy moved away before the age where kids usually date. Then there was my ex, Ryah. I thought we be together forever. We used to be so perfect for each other, but in the last few months we've changed so much that we only hurt each other now. My current love is my new boyfriend. He's amazing, but still I'm cautious with trusting him.
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 9:43 pm
I got mad as h*ll when my ex told me she was
sending pics of her body to a 26 year old guy
And her excuse for it was that she s done worse.
And today she was hanging out with this guy I had a crush on in elementary school. And he kissed her on the cheek.
Yet I'm not allowed to have anyone kiss me or hold me..
-sighs- I hate her a little sometimes.
She is just soo frustrating.
Oh and the guy I was talking about before wasnt real just a
multiple personality of my ex.
My ex is really messed up
And I still want to save her...
Especially from herself..
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Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:54 pm
The amazing Angie the Failure somehow manages to
stop her ex girlfriend from doing drugs.
Okay so I've been drinking a bit lately...
Vodka to be specific
then I tell my ex I had a drink the night before
when i was watching my baby sis while my parents went out drinking
(from 7:30 pm to 2:30 am I have to get up at like 5:25am for school)
Then she goes on for about an hour about how she just wants to give up on me
Then after an hour of not talking she comes up with a deal
"If you don't drink, I wont use."
So of course I agree (i've been trying to get her to stop using for awhile (she was addicted to coke. and she did tons of pills) she started again abit before we broke up before that she was clean except for some weed on occasion or a Valium or two)
So how do my mistakes turn into gold any answers?
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Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:02 pm
More about my ex and me
I need a little bit of venting space here
so bear with me
My ex was abused by her father
He got her pregnant
And me and my ex loved the baby
My ex named her Serina
But my ex miscarried
crying
This was back in the beginning of the year
like February or March
We were both soo upset..
My ex is out of that situation now
she lives with her mother now
(not much better since her mom seems to decide she cant have food sometimes)
Really I hate my life right now
It's depressing
And I haven't written anything for awhile (no stories, poems, or just random funny things.)
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Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:09 am
I'm really upset tonight
I'm hurting myself emotionality and mentally
by reading things she write/typed
I can't even get into my bed
memories of what was done there hang over it tonight
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Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:12 pm
i know it seems like since you love her, you need to do everything in your power to make her happy. but that's just the thing. you're going above and beyond the normal expectations of a gf, and considering she's hurt you so much, you need to put yourself before her at some times. i mean, you can get her help; get the state involved so she's away from her parents or something. honestly, though, if it's hurting you, i think you need to take a moment to think about yourself once in awhile.
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Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:22 pm
I can't put myself first especially not now
she s going out with me again
I don't like to think about myself
I m supposed to think about others
If I don't I feel selfish
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 12:36 pm
Back when she broke up with me, I convinced myself I meant nothing to her.
I was nothing but a toy meant to discarded when bored of.
I had to convince myself of that. It was the only way to keep myself whole,
to keep all the pieces of me from falling far away from me. Still deep it my heart, I knew the truth and I endured agony for it. I didn't go 6 hours without crying back then. I shook and shivered when I thought about him and her together. It stung so bad because I fought against myself. Between the selfish thoughts of I wish they would just break up to the the loving thoughts of I hope they're happy together, I was slowing tearing myself apart on the inside. For being selfish, I would scream at myself. For not having the guts to admit I was a bit mad at her for breaking up with me, I would scream at myself. For screaming at myself, I would, you guessed it, scream at myself. Of course I would do so silently in my head, but I am good at finding the things that hurt me the most. How could you not be happy ,for your love, even though she is with someone else?
She broke up with him not too long ago and now she needs saved.
We both do. I hope we'll find our way or that she will at least. She can live without me. She went out with him didn't she? So she can probably find someone again, but me? Never could I find someone to fill the place that she would leave in my heart if she killed herself. I would be nothing. I'd be worse off that I am now because now I have someone to love, to help, to care about, to mean something to. Without her my life would devoid of everything that makes me me. I wouldn't pick up another pencil to write or draw nor would I type anything. I would purely go through life as if I was a brainless zombie. For what point is there in life when the only thing you have ever cherished has gone, when your true love isn't around to be proud of your successes and help you through your failures?
I love her with all my heart forever and always no matter what. I only want for her to be happy.I hate that she hurts herself. But how can you tell the one you love to stop what makes them happy ,even when its destroying them, when you cannot make them happy enough to want to stop?
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Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:46 pm
Back when she broke up with me, I convinced myself I meant nothing to her.
I was nothing but a toy meant to discarded when bored of.
I had to convince myself of that. It was the only way to keep myself whole,
to keep all the pieces of me from falling far away from me. Still deep it my heart, I knew the truth and I endured agony for it. I didn't go 6 hours without crying back then. I shook and shivered when I thought about him and her together. It stung so bad because I fought against myself. Between the selfish thoughts of I wish they would just break up to the the loving thoughts of I hope they're happy together, I was slowing tearing myself apart on the inside. For being selfish, I would scream at myself. For not having the guts to admit I was a bit mad at her for breaking up with me, I would scream at myself. For screaming at myself, I would, you guessed it, scream at myself. Of course I would do so silently in my head, but I am good at finding the things that hurt me the most. How could you not be happy ,for your love, even though she is with someone else?
She broke up with him not too long ago and now she needs saved.
We both do. I hope we'll find our way or that she will at least. She can live without me. She went out with him didn't she? So she can probably find someone again, but me? Never could I find someone to fill the place that she would leave in my heart if she killed herself. I would be nothing. I'd be worse off that I am now because now I have someone to love, to help, to care about, to mean something to. Without her my life would devoid of everything that makes me me. I wouldn't pick up another pencil to write or draw nor would I type anything. I would purely go through life as if I was a brainless zombie. For what point is there in life when the only thing you have ever cherished has gone, when your true love isn't around to be proud of your successes and help you through your failures?
I love her with all my heart forever and always no matter what. I only want for her to be happy.I hate that she hurts herself. But how can you tell the one you love to stop what makes them happy ,even when its destroying them, when you cannot make them happy enough to want to stop?
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Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:56 pm
I did something horrible.
She hates me now.
Why did I tell her that she practically beg for her father to rape her?
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Heavy_m3tal_hippy Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 5:06 pm
Fallen_Broken_Shattered I did something horrible. She hates me now. Why did I tell her that she practically beg for her father to rape her? Cause you were quite possibly angry, and maybe she did piss you off... I'm not gonna lie though, that's a REALLY bad statement...
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Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 6:15 pm
soyouwannarevolution Fallen_Broken_Shattered I did something horrible. She hates me now. Why did I tell her that she practically beg for her father to rape her? Cause you were quite possibly angry, and maybe she did piss you off... I'm not gonna lie though, that's a REALLY bad statement... Yes it was really bad I think she replied "At least I can get laid." we were both so mad at each other she told me things like "If I wasn't on drugs, I would never be able to sleep with you."
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Heavy_m3tal_hippy Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 3:28 pm
Fallen_Broken_Shattered soyouwannarevolution Fallen_Broken_Shattered I did something horrible. She hates me now. Why did I tell her that she practically beg for her father to rape her? Cause you were quite possibly angry, and maybe she did piss you off... I'm not gonna lie though, that's a REALLY bad statement... Yes it was really bad I think she replied "At least I can get laid." we were both so mad at each other she told me things like "If I wasn't on drugs, I would never be able to sleep with you." Well, this just sort of sounds like a b***h-off... the best thing to do is apologize, and don't encourage the bitching, doesn't matter if it was you or her what started it... and most importantly, don't be the one to end up out-bitching the other, especially if you're going to be the first to attempt to apologize.
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Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:59 pm
We're back to friendship/ almost girlfriends-ship
I have to post something in the advice thing now though
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Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:46 pm
***Random memory***
I was little around 5 or 6
And I grabbed a knife
It was shiny and pretty
so it ran into the bathroom
knowing that my parents would be mad if they saw me playing with it
I spun it round and round in my hand
There I realized my hand was covered with blood (I didn't feel any pain at all)
I threw the knife in a place to hide it and ran to my mom fake crying
about falling and hurting my hand
********************
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