Okay ... I've mentioned a girl before right ?! ... sooo ... I'm in love with her ... actually she's the only person I've been in love with. Last night we were chatting like always and she told me that she was falling in love with someone. Of course I asked who it was and she told me that it was some guy from another town and " Some sunny day I'll see him <333 "... at first I felt happy for her and a little sad but anyways ... After a while I asked her if she was ever in love with a girl ... She told me that she was in love only 3 times but never felt the same towards a girl ... and then she said that she had an attraction for someone and that it was me !!! ... I don't know why so late but then my heart broke... I couldn't breath and I was shaking like a leaf ... almost started crying but stopped myself cuz mom was in the room and I just don't want to talk to her ... that's pretty much the basic of what we talked about last night ... Right now I'm a mess. I can't sleep, I keep thinking about her even more, stopped eating comepletly and I better change that cuz I'm 36 kg. on top of that I had a nerv breakdown a couple of days ago mostly becouse of that ... I've got so many questions in my head right now ... If I had told her that I love her sooner would have there been a chance for us ? Before we saw eachother ( cuz we live in different towns as well ) she said that some sunny day she'll see me and in the two nights we spend together her heart was beating like crazy ... it was probably 260 beats at a minute ... she even kissed me ( withought the noung though ) and said that this was her first real kiss with someone ... she even let me have her first kiss ( now we're talking with the toung thingy xD ) when we see eachother again which means a lot to me ! But what's wrong ? Why am I not good enough ? I've though of this before but I have the feeling that if I was a boy she would feel just a little something more towards me. [ This whole gender thing s***s >.> ] I'm happy that she found someone but I still want her all to myself. Does that mean that I don't really love her?! I lost her and that's it ! I don't know what to do anymore. I was going to tell her how I feel the next time I saw her ... I could have told her last night but I don't want it to happen trough the Internet cuz it s***s that way besides this is the first time I'll be telling someone a thing like that and I want to do it properly, but I think it might be too late now. I don't know if I should tell her or not anymore. Maybe I should just get over her though it will be the hardest thing to do. I'm just ... lost !
Sorry for bothering you T^T
Sorry for bothering you T^T
