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 Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:13 pm
I have officially dug my own grave! -_-
Okay, well I have this curse. When a girl asks me out [that I know in person, I've rejected so many people over the internet] I cannot say no! Also, I love to be a flirt, and I can't help myself! It sucks so bad!
Anyways, I'm in a relationship right now with a girl I really thought I could love, but there's only one problem... I can't stop thinking about my ex-girlfriend. I have absolutely no clue what to do. I keep trying to get her out of my head, and it was working, but then I had a dream, and ever since then I just haven't been myself. I can't sleep anymore, I've become depressed, I'm eating less, I get lots of headaches, and it's all just driving me crazy.
Here's a short explanation of my dream: I was sitting on the computer [like always] and apparently she had come over, but I was ignoring her and just sitting on the computer, she kept saying stuff trying to get my attention, but I was still ignoring her, and then she got mad and turned off the computer, so I looked up at her, and then she kissed me.
I wish I could just get this girl off my mind, but even when I'm with my girlfriend I find myself thinking about my ex. Which really makes me feel bad about the whole thing. I really wanted this to work out, but I don't think I can handle it. I mean, my girlfriend really likes me, and I love her to death, but the longer it goes on, the more I love her more like in a sisterly way. I feel so bad about it.
I mean, I have wanted to tell my ex how much I really love her since way before we started going out, and I never said it, and that's basically why she broke up with me in the first place. That was on April 18, 2009, I remember the exact date she broke up with me, and it's defiantly a day I want to forget. I also remember the day we basically started going out too, I had a boyfriend at the time[my first and last thank you!! D:<] and I broke up with him the next day so I could be with her. I really feel bad about that too because I kind of just used him to make sure if I was a lesbian or not because I kinda wanted to convince myself that I liked guys too [that stage is gone] so I forced myself to like him.
It's kind of a jumbled explanation, but I think you guys would get the point.
Well basically I have no clue what to do and I feel like hiring someone to hit me in the face with a baseball bat!
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Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 6:13 am
so you didn't tell ur ex that u love her and that's why she broke up with u ?! ( sorry I'm a dumbass ^^'' ) ... well I've got two options for u
1st one is you could just tell your ex that you've always loved her and that u still do and how much you're thinking about her and see what happens but then it could be bad if your current girlfriend found out so there's the second one ... u could ask ur current girlfriend what she would do if she was dating someone who still loved her ex or something like that but in a more delecate way so she wouldn't find out that it's u ... if she says that she would be ok with it if " that person " really loves her ex that much just tell her how u feel both ways it would be bad for ur girlfriend but that's all I've got
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Heavy_m3tal_hippy Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:43 pm
Wow... that... was a long explanation.
There's nothing wrong with being a flirt, that just means you're slightly more fun than everyone else.
And that's an awful dilemma. If you really love your ex, go for her. I'm sure she still loves you back. Don't go charging in expecting that, however, people change daily. Try talking to her a little bit before you go back to her.
Now, if you don't want to leave the girl your with, stay with BECAUSE YOU LIKE HER. If you stay with her to be nice, but you don't care for her, then you've got an awful problem. It only hurts more when you wait.
Make your decisions carefully. Might I suggest Jonathan Coulton for the thinking music? He's quite the most excellent at the feel better making.
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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:31 pm
There is no problem being a flirt! hehe
I am bi and flirty and thats ok I am twice as likely to have a date on friday
O look its friday no date sad (
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The Phantoms Apprentice Vice Captain
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Heavy_m3tal_hippy Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:55 pm
The Phantoms Apprentice There is no problem being a flirt! hehe I am bi and flirty and thats ok I am twice as likely to have a date on friday O look its friday no date sad ( This surprises me. You're a massively awesome sort of unannoying person xd !
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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 9:30 pm
soyouwannarevolution The Phantoms Apprentice There is no problem being a flirt! hehe I am bi and flirty and thats ok I am twice as likely to have a date on friday O look its friday no date sad ( This surprises me. You're a massively awesome sort of unannoying person xd ! awwwww thankies i was supposed to but the chick got cold feet
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The Phantoms Apprentice Vice Captain
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Heavy_m3tal_hippy Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 9:34 pm
The Phantoms Apprentice soyouwannarevolution The Phantoms Apprentice There is no problem being a flirt! hehe I am bi and flirty and thats ok I am twice as likely to have a date on friday O look its friday no date sad ( This surprises me. You're a massively awesome sort of unannoying person xd ! awwwww thankies i was supposed to but the chick got cold feet Aw, that sucks! Happened to me a lot sad If you really like the girl, go for her dude! You'll never know what she'll say till you ask! And if it's a no, God, or whatever your religious preferences may be, made an entire world full of people (and then of course chose me to walk amongst them as a Deity, but we won't get into that xd ) You'll find love, I know it! And that goes for you too, Kimi!
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Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:58 am
No I am upset cause she said she wanted to bewith me then she said she didnt want to be... sad ((
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The Phantoms Apprentice Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 6:32 pm
Oh, well that went off topic real quick...
Post Number Two
So I've been doing good with it for a while, but then I get to talking to her (my ex) again and it goes back to the same thing.
I can say that I did break it off with the girlfriend I had at the time of writing this... but I have a new one... and I feel like she doesn't care about me at all but my stupid self is still willing to keep it going until she finds someone else...
I feel really crappy for doing that too. I don't need her, not one bit, but I'm not going to get rid of her either... I think it's because I really need the distraction...
This would be a lot easier if I could just explain to Savannah [my ex, I'm just tired of typing "my ex" over and over again] the reason why I effed things up so bad in the first place... but I can just never bring myself to.
I can't let go no matter how hard I try, but I don't want to at the same time. I love her. I really do. I just wish I could tell her all these things instead of typing them somewhere where she won't read them like the coward I am.
Honestly I'll explain:
The reason why she broke up with me was because I never acted like her girlfriend, and she said that I made it seem like I never really cared for the relationship. My pride is what messed things up... I could have fixed everything if I just said why I did that and then we'd talk about it and everything would be fine, but I hate being all mushy and my pride wouldn't allow me to tell her. So, it ended and I've regreted not telling her.
My reason why I acted like that was because I don't give a crap if people hate me, or look at me weird, or make fun of me... but I don't want that to happen to her. I didn't do the whole "PDA" thing because I didn't want to have her go through the dumb closed minded people that I do every day. I didn't act like her girlfriend even at her house because of her mom. I didn't want he to ruin her relationship with her mom, they're very close, and I'm not sure how her mom would take it. Her dad would be fine with it, and I'm sure he knew we were going to go out before she did... but I wasn't so sure about her mom...
When I'd see people look at us like we were freaks, I'd feel bad for her... and I hated that feeling... so I tried to avoid that.
So pretty much I was only trying to protect her... to make it easier on her. So her life could be as normal as possible.
... and now I think it's the dumbest excuse ever for losing the greatest girl I have ever known. I'm sure I'd find no one better.
She was perfect to me, and now I'm regretting even telling her how I felt about her. It would have been a lot easier if the relationship wasn't there to begin with...
Eff my life. :]
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 9:35 am
im bi, so i get the trying to keep ur gf/bf from like, im not sure how to put it. before i came out, people would make fun of my gfs. and ppl always insinuated that i was not straight. i had to deny it. then i dated my friend, well now former friend. he was my first bf. and we were all about pda. so ppl found out that way. in fact that was the main reason i stopped playing football. His friends hated me, so he got chewed out. one of his friends is one of the reasons we broke up. and i am protective of a few of my friends. one i think of as a sister. but when i came out, she was all like being bi/gay is anti god, and stuff like that. also, last year, i was in a club called campus crusade for christ. i left that group because the then president talked to me in private. he basically asked me how long i qoute "have felt this way" so i didn't want there to be a problem. But you should tell her how you feel before it's too late!!!!!!!!!!!!. trust me
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Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 4:51 pm
So, I try out a guy...
Fail!
Well, it ended terribly. :[
His name is Jason.
I started going out with him on the 4th of December and it technically ended on the 6th of January (though it's still not over).
Such a sort period of time ruined my life...
For the most part it was a good relationship, I was happy in every way shape and form. It wasn't until after he broke up with me until I realized how ******** up he was.
It's a long a** story, but I thought we were doing fine and then he starts being weird. Even so, I still didn't imagine he would break up with me. He picks like the worst day ever to do it too. I had just gotten through fighting with my mom for a good amount of hours to be able to see him still (I got into a lot of trouble with him) and I won the fight, but my mom was PISSED.
Like immediately after I get a break-up text and at that point I'm just like '******** my life x100'.
I really did/do love him. Even though we're broken up now, I still get so excited to see him, and it kills me when I'm away from him.
^That right there is something I wish wasn't true.
I've gotten myself in one hell of a situation. He has a new girlfriend, but I still see him every day and we are pretty much exactly how we were when we went out, so I am the back-up plan/the other girl and I HATE it.
I'm too far into it now to pull myself out and I'm just screwed.
There's so many things ******** up about our relationship it's not even funny.
He takes me to random friend's houses who I don't even know. Leaves me there while I'm going to the bathroom without telling me he's leaving. Tells a friend he'll be back soon. Ignores my calls/texts. Comes back about 3 1/2 hours later high off his a** and has no idea why I'm pissed.
He's definitely a cheater.
He used to be a bit abusive (not on purpose, he does't know his own strength. He's definitely better about it now.)
Nothing is ever his fault, and even if he and you both know it's his fault, he has this way of making you believe the blame is on you.
He only cares when he's not busy. If he has something else to do, you barely exist...
That's only a few details of his s**t... Yet, I still love him. Great, huh??
This is a crappy picture of me and him, but it's the only one I have left.
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Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 5:40 pm
makkuro_kiba So, I try out a guy...
Fail!
Well, it ended terribly. :[
His name is Jason.
I started going out with him on the 4th of December and it technically ended on the 6th of January (though it's still not over).
Such a sort period of time ruined my life...
For the most part it was a good relationship, I was happy in every way shape and form. It wasn't until after he broke up with me until I realized how ******** up he was.
It's a long a** story, but I thought we were doing fine and then he starts being weird. Even so, I still didn't imagine he would break up with me. He picks like the worst day ever to do it too. I had just gotten through fighting with my mom for a good amount of hours to be able to see him still (I got into a lot of trouble with him) and I won the fight, but my mom was PISSED.
Like immediately after I get a break-up text and at that point I'm just like '******** my life x100'.
I really did/do love him. Even though we're broken up now, I still get so excited to see him, and it kills me when I'm away from him.
^That right there is something I wish wasn't true.
I've gotten myself in one hell of a situation. He has a new girlfriend, but I still see him every day and we are pretty much exactly how we were when we went out, so I am the back-up plan/the other girl and I HATE it.
I'm too far into it now to pull myself out and I'm just screwed.
There's so many things ******** up about our relationship it's not even funny.
He takes me to random friend's houses who I don't even know. Leaves me there while I'm going to the bathroom without telling me he's leaving. Tells a friend he'll be back soon. Ignores my calls/texts. Comes back about 3 1/2 hours later high off his a** and has no idea why I'm pissed.
He's definitely a cheater.
He used to be a bit abusive (not on purpose, he does't know his own strength. He's definitely better about it now.)
Nothing is ever his fault, and even if he and you both know it's his fault, he has this way of making you believe the blame is on you.
He only cares when he's not busy. If he has something else to do, you barely exist...
That's only a few details of his s**t... Yet, I still love him. Great, huh??
This is a crappy picture of me and him, but it's the only one I have left.
Well, that guy's a d**k. Angels shouldn't be your back-up plan, they should be your priority (I'm just assuming you're an angel based on your face, but angels aren't as pretty.). Don't end up as his back-up plan, cause that just makes him a man-whore. What you SHOULD do is think of everything that pissed you off about him (There's DEFINITELY a lot to choose from) and think only of that. You'll get over him faster. Also, kick his worthless a** and leave him in a gutter.
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Heavy_m3tal_hippy Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 6:14 am
Heavy_m3tal_hippy Well, that guy's a d**k. Angels shouldn't be your back-up plan, they should be your priority (I'm just assuming you're an angel based on your face, but angels aren't as pretty.). Don't end up as his back-up plan, cause that just makes him a man-whore. What you SHOULD do is think of everything that pissed you off about him (There's DEFINITELY a lot to choose from) and think only of that. You'll get over him faster. Also, kick his worthless a** and leave him in a gutter. It's really hard to though...
I am aware about what I SHOULD do, but I CAN'T do it.
(Thank you for the compliments by the way. They brightened my mood a bit)
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Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:19 pm
makkuro_kiba Heavy_m3tal_hippy Well, that guy's a d**k. Angels shouldn't be your back-up plan, they should be your priority (I'm just assuming you're an angel based on your face, but angels aren't as pretty.). Don't end up as his back-up plan, cause that just makes him a man-whore. What you SHOULD do is think of everything that pissed you off about him (There's DEFINITELY a lot to choose from) and think only of that. You'll get over him faster. Also, kick his worthless a** and leave him in a gutter. It's really hard to though...
I am aware about what I SHOULD do, but I CAN'T do it.
(Thank you for the compliments by the way. They brightened my mood a bit) Yea, I know how it feels sad I guess you just gotta get behind the mentality that you really can't change him... how you do so, I've no clue... but you'll get there. And they weren't compliments, they were solid facts smile Because anyone denying that you're gorgeous is an idiot and also blind.
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Heavy_m3tal_hippy Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 6:01 pm
Heavy_m3tal_hippy Yea, I know how it feels sad I guess you just gotta get behind the mentality that you really can't change him... how you do so, I've no clue... but you'll get there. And they weren't compliments, they were solid facts smile Because anyone denying that you're gorgeous is an idiot and also blind. Well, I'm good for the time being. :]
... and hopefully I stay that way.
I'm pretty much over all that drama now. Not fully, but for the most part. Thanks to the help of his best friend who's like an older brother to him. (Which he's pissed about.) And I have realized that there it absolutely nothing I can do. Things are a lot easier now than they were definitely. I am now able to enjoy myself and not even have to think about him anymore!!
Again, thanks. :] Your comments always make my day a bit better. :] :]
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