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Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 11:52 pm
Dear Journal,
I don't understand why a friend of mine calls me her best friend when a different friend of her's seems to now be there more and knows more things about her than I do. I mean...he has a cell phone, I had 2 loose mine. He's on more cause I got 2 deal w/my mom. I ALWAYS have 2 find out s**t from him and I don't see why he can't open his mouth or post me online to tell me s**t. I literally have 2 message him myself asking him about our mutual friend then he tells me. Or if I find out something then tell him he's like: yeah I know. I'm like: When the heck did you find out? and his response is that he doesn't know. It bugs the heck out of me how I'm supposed 2 be her best friend yet it seems like our mutual friend is more of a best friend to her than I. It sucks...I'm feeling nothing but hate for our friend who I think has replaced me. I don't dare say anything to anyone cause I've had 2 much issues w/people on yahoo. I don't need anymore. Nor do I wish to hurt my friend who sees me as her best friend. But I can't help feeling this way and idk what 2 do. *sighs* I really don't care anymore. I really wish I was a machine and can be emotionless. But I am not. I am human. Now I feel useless...
(note: i know it's supposed 2 be a diary section but I just don't like the word diary so i call it journal...hope no one objects...)
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:01 pm
No objections here! Well some people just dont know how to accept their feelings or dont know how to express their feelings. They might not see what you see. You guys might have two completely different views. You shouldnt feel replaced most likely its not that you have been replaced. I really dont have much suggestions for what you might/should do. Plus I dont want to say anything that might be stupid of me. If I stay on one topic to long all of my greatness goes bye bye then straight to S**T from there. Well if it makes you feel better I think you are a great friend you can not be replaced. You are one of a kind and unique in your own way.
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:56 pm
Well I am glad your one of the few people who thinks I am. Nice to know.
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 3:21 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 11:35 pm
Dear Journal,
Two things I shall jot down into you this late evening. I'm still having to wait on getting a laptop cord. Mom is wanting me to hold off on selling my dvd's and a psp game to get the $ I need. She wants to get some bills paid and then see if she can buy it for me. Some of the dvd's I am putting up to sell my mom knows I really don't want to give them up. Especially the Sherlock Holmes dvd's. She knows I LOVE those dvd's. The second thing is...I'm just...I guess I'm really lonely. I have no life...no job...my so called friend's in my area I don't see or talk 2 hardly ever. Those who I do talk to online who seem to be better friends than those I have in my area have there own lives and can't always be on. But I can't help but feel this way. I have no one to talk to, no one to go to...I'm pretty much a loner...
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 11:52 am
Life no for you might suck but its just the start. Most likely life always gets better. It might even happen before you know it. Sometimes one little thing starts it all. Then its a chain reaction of many great things. Just try to look at all the positive things in your life and try your best to not think about the negatives.
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 12:36 pm
Kinda hard 2 do when the biggest negative is around me friggin 24/7 aka mom. Plus the fact I have 2 wait till sometime next year 2 get the hell away from her. >.< uugghh..
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 12:49 pm
I sorta know what you mean. I around all my friends whose fathers or mothers ruin their lifes
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 12:51 pm
Mine's been doing it most of my life. I'm basically her personal everything, no joke. She's soooo frigging lazy it isn't funny. I'm the: cook, launderer, cleaner, dish washer, servant u name it. >.>
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 1:02 pm
My "sister" is that with her parents. I f*cking hate that.
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 1:11 pm
my cousin hate's it 2 which is why she's gonna get me and let me live w/her when she gets her own place.
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 1:25 pm
oh yeah my sister is always more than welcomed to come leave with me but idk why she dont she would have so much more freedom
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 1:28 pm
Yeah I don't have that luxury to move in2 a friends house till my cousin comes 2 get me. See that's the down side to being jobless...cause I can't help pay rent no one will take me in. Doesn't matter that I suffer @ home, if I don't have the $ no one will take me in.
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 2:37 pm
Dear Journal,
I keep finding things here on Gaia that catch my interest & my wish list keeps getting bigger & bigger! @_@ idk what I'm going 2 do about it. I'm so far behind on getting certain items that have been on my wish list 4 a while yet it's almost like it doesn't matter as I keep adding on2 my list. There are 13 items that I could hopefully find in the market place to buy. I do have an actual total of 15 items on my list but two haven't been listed in the market place so I don't bother to look 4 them. *sigh* I wish it was a LOT easier to get the gold that one needed. The games here on Gaia are CRAP and booty grab is going down hill fast since sooooo many people play it 2 get gold and then hardly any tanks glow or work. *bangs head on desk*
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 2:42 pm
Yeah it is hard to obtain gold
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