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Cruor -updated-

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Dark Ninja Chik
Captain

PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 3:51 pm


hey, i was going to try to collaborate on this one, but i'm thinking about just adding it to my ever-growing list of story ideas to write sometime in da future. I wrote this up a couple days ago. Tell me wat u think. Its a rough draft i wrote in like 10 mins and posted so plz dont comment about grammar and stuff, just tell me if if sounds like it could go somewhere 3nodding

as of rite now i am just writing random scenes, but I will eventually connect them all into a story. tell me what you think so far biggrin

The sounds of claws ripping through the flesh of the giant trees that surrounded me carried through the air. Vicious blood curdling snarls ripped through my ears. Bloodlust tainted thegrim air. All these only pushed my tiny legs to run harder. My feet bled more with each crash onto the rough terrain. My gown was a wine red, no parts of the original white gown remained, I was in pain all over. I felt my lungs swelling with each short breath and contracting even tighter with each exhale. My head was spinning from the lack of oxygen, my eyesight blurred. Why did I keep running? Was my life so significant to me? No, not mine. I would give up my life at any moment then travail through such pain only to see the same ending, my death. But I couldn’t give in, not yet. There was something more dear to me than my own life, something I would pay a thousand years of torment for. I squeezed the bundle of blankets to my chest even tighter and pushed my legs even harder. I couldn’t give up, not yet. There was another life who was more important to me than mine. A tiny life, new to this world. A life that meant more to me than my own. Not my life, but the life that only true love could have ever created. My bundle of blankets, my heart, my soul, my life, my death…my daughter.

Some say even the most blessed are cursed. Born in the perfect world, perfect parents, perfect beauty, perfect love. But perfection can unravel just as quick as death can appear. My baby would be brought into the perfect life. I was in love with the most handsome man in all of Castel, I had inheirited wealth from my parents, I was beautiful, kind, everything a child could want would await him or her in this new life. But, even the most blessed are cursed. Born into this perfect world was the perfect child. But her perfection was certainly a curse. Born with bright eyes, a beating heart, curly brown hair, she was the fairest child in Castel. But, there were other things, she had that slightly odd yet strangely familiar glint in her eyes, sharp canines, angled features, she was a vampire. Now in our society in Castel, it was quite common to see a vampire. Of course, there were some who drank blood, but they were killed off years ago. Then there are others who hunt down rogue vampires. Obviously it takes a vampire to catch a vampire, and it takes even more to kill one. But we also have special vampires who are born with gifts. A single bite of these gifted ones can cure any illness, convert a murderer to a peaceful citizen, or even tell the future. But there was something wrong when a child was born with both human and vampire traits. That meant two things, the death of the vampire parent who made love with the human, and the hybrid child—my heart.

It was at times like these when I was grateful for the curse that was bestowed upon me at birth, the speed and strength of a vampire, despite otherwise human characteristics. Had it not been for this curse, both my child and myself would be dead by now. I silently thanked God for the curse he had bestowed upon me, for it was truly a blessing at this moment. However, I only wished that he had not bestowed my curse on my daughter as well. This hybrid birth was such a rarity, had they found out about my curse, I would have been dead long ago, but my mother did a grand job of hiding the fact that I coughed up blood instead of drank it, and that I had the abilities of a vampire, but the appearance of a human, and even the fact that I grew wings whenever the sense of falling entered my mind. In this cursed world I was born into, the rare birth of a Saint should be great, however, the same kingdom that we are so loyal to is the same kingdom that pursues me at this very moment, in hopes of dissecting me and my child in hopes of finding our secrets to immortality.  
PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:13 pm


hmmm, i find myself giving more thought to this particular story...maybe I should continue. I thought up this scene in class only short moments ago mrgreen

I opened my eyes, the darkness of the moon in the midnight sky greeted me. My body lay limp underneath me, drained. I lay there, paralyzed from his touch. I closed my eyes in attempt to recollect the images that flashed through my mind. Pain. Cold. Fear. He attacked me as I ducked into the ally. Blood flowing from my mouth like a fountain. I could not let anyone see me in this retched stated, bloodstained and what not. They would surely take me to the Solace for healing, and then they would take me away when they realized that my unique ailment could not be cured. Society is a strange thing, they will do everything in their power to help those that are like them, but when someone "unique" comes along, they take them away, experiment on their bodies. They say it's for science. Well science has killed too many souls, the souls they supposedly protect. It is for this reason why I must hide my massive bloodloss from the world I live in. It is for this reason that I ducked in that dark alley. What I hadn't expected was for a Cruor to also be there. No one would have expected his presence, his existance was wiped off the face of the earth centuries ago, or at least, thats just another one of the government's lies. But it didn't matter anymore, there was one here, and he attacked me. In the silence of the night, he heard my cries, but help was the least he had to offer me. His back haunched over in an inhuman and he was down on all fours. He lept. Pain. Fear. My body collapsed underneath his strength, his arms wrapped so tightly around my body I could hardly breath. Sheds of clothing fell from my body and his nail scratched into the flesh of my waist. His lips glid across my neck. In all my 20 years of life on this planet had I never felt such an emense pain as what I felt. A pain that sent a gagging squeal to my ears. I barely recognized the sound as my own. A pain that cause every muscle in my body to coil and contract. A pain that wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders. A pain that embraced his body into mine as his teeth bore into the skin of my neck. A pain that released our embrace as I crashed to the ground. Then, the pain in his eyes at the realization of what he had done. I did not blame him for my death, neither did I regret the gift he had given me. My blood, my gift to him, I was glad to give it. And, as I lay on the cold damp earth gazing into the moonlight, his blazing eyes no longer visible, I long to give him more. If I can but only live to see the sun rise, I will meet him in the horizon and give to him the blood he suck from my veins that filled his body with a pleasant warmth. With a new life I long to give him my blood once more. Even if the next time, I don't survive.

Dark Ninja Chik
Captain


Jezus on Acid

PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 12:26 pm


i like
PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 1:44 pm


Very dark. Reminds me of one of Edgar Allan Poe's poems. As for NeoGeo123, did you know that I know him in person?

duskcrawler


Dark Ninja Chik
Captain

PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 7:43 pm


duskcrawler
Very dark. Reminds me of one of Edgar Allan Poe's poems. As for NeoGeo123, did you know that I know him in person?


thanx! wow, compared to Poe!!! that is a true complement!
PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:26 pm


hmmm, yet another scene...im thinking this one up as I type so again, no comments on grammer plz xd

I awoke, my body dripping with sweat. "Ugh!" I moaned as I rolled over in the bed, my eyes sewn together from a night of insufficient sleep. "Why is it so hot? It's freakin NOVEMBER!" I fussed when the realization hit me. I jumped out of the bed and ran towards my bedroom door. I was only then when I realized the heavy haze of darkness that lurked in my room choking my every breath.

Flames spewed into my room forcing me to jump back into the heat of my smoke filled room. I immediately jumped through the wall, not caring if anyone saw my body intangibly phase through a solid wall. Neither did I care if anyone saw me sprint around to the other side of the house...but I was much too fast for any human to have seen my movement.

I phased through my mother's bedroom. She lay flat under her bed sheets, completely undisterbed by the inferno that raged throughout our tiny cottage. I would have screamed for help, but no one would have heard me. We lived on the far outskirts of town. If we were rich enough to on a telephone, no one would get to us in time, our house would be a pile of ashes by the time they got here. I ran to my mother's bedside. I reached to pull back the sheet when a slight movement caught the corner of my eye. I turned reflexively, fangs gnarling, crouched in a position to attack, no one was there. I stood for a moment gazing through the flames, my true eyes searching the house, through walls, behind doors, but nothing inhabited the burning cottage. I turned back towards my mother and pulled back the sheets.

I screamed so loudly that even I thought I would wake the far away town. I sprinted through walls, flames, anything before me to escape. My body shook like an earthquake had just passed though me, my eyes blistering with tears blinding me from my suroundings, my skin turning such a pale white I thought I would become invisible! A searing pain shot through my foot as it jambed right through a rock sending me head first into the muddy bank of the tiny pond about a mile out from where my cottage flamed ferouciously. I peered at my ghostly reflection in the water, what a fine time to find out that I could turn invisible--another ability to add to my evergrowing arsenal.

I couldn't hold back the yellowish fluid that began to pour violently from my lips and into the ghostly reflection below. Images of the woman under the blankets, the woman who had been my mother, so disoriented and detached that the only confirmation that she had been the woman who found me as a child were here firey red locks of hair sprawled across the foot of the bed where her feet lay and her emerald green eyes that gazed endlessly through the firey locks, forever tortured and tormented in a world where her soul would never find peace.

"Your abilities are quite impressive, girl. No wonder the boy likes you so much!" a deep eery voice whispered from behind. I was too weak, too distraught to react. I could only gaze at him, fire blazin in the palm of his hand, the locks knotted and tangled as if yanked from a helpless victim. I had to force the newly found yellow fluid back into my belly.

"Now, how about that blood of yours? I hear its quite tastey." I glared at the man who had murdered my mother. I listened, but his heart was still, the groaning of the distant fire echoed through his empty veins, and his colorless palor only confirmed what I had known from the beginning, he was a Cruor.

"As you must know, girl, we Cruor can live without blood so long as we force our hearts to stop beating--a very uncomfortable feeling might I add--causing our inhuman palor. We have remained in hiding for centuries not drinking the blood of humans as not to give our presence away." His menecing eyes peered down at my trembling frail body. "Don't turn invisible while I'm talking, girl!" he yelled as his long talons tore into my face knocking me back into a large tree that crashed into the earth at the impact.

"That's enough!" I could barely make out the second voice as a sleepy haze began to shroud my mind. "Master will be angry enough when he finds out the mother was only human. Don't make it worse by injuring the hybrid." the voices seemed to grow distant as the darkness shrouded my mind.

Dark Ninja Chik
Captain


Dark Ninja Chik
Captain

PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 7:41 pm


i extended the first post so reread that one and comment on the new post 3nodding
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