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**Notice, this poem was written when I was twelve years old!! Please ignore the bad grammar and spelling, as I copied it word for word...**

dear mommy,

dear mommy i saw an angel

before i fell asleep

my spirit was walking with her

i'm sorry i cut too deep

mommy, please forgive me

i knew not what else to do

i'll never leave you, mommy,

i hope you know that i loved you

you weren't the one who hurt me

do be decieved by that lie

this was all about daddy

he said that i should die

dear mommy, i was ready

i knew the time was right

my timing was so perfect

out of sight, not out of mind

(Poem published in late 2003)

*Another very old poem*

out of touch

for my mind has drifted

can't hear your words

can't see your face

only my body remains

i wish i could see your face

i know that you're smiling

i know you can't wait for that moment

the moment on which my "life" ends

the moment on which

you recieve the glory of holding up

the microphone and actually become

a good person

but right now, i'm just dreaming

wishing upon that day when it's

not my death that will kill you

but your shame

you know me by name

but you don't know me at all

you seem more out of touch than me

you were never that parent to me

that you should have been

taking the breath out of me

you body's dead, but you still haunt my dreams

i still live in torment of the life i grew

up in

where only the blood would release me from

my misery

oh no, you raised me

but that doesn't mean you ever knew me.

you were the reason for my pain

the phone rang into the crisis line

i was out of touch from the beating

that had occured

the police came out

cps was called

nothing happend to you

but even worse to me

still i ly awake at night

crying and crying trying to mask the pain i'm in

new day arises

still out of touch

my sence of social life demolished

never will i feel peace

never have i ever felt that emotion that

is so real to others

you have left me out of touch

out of touch with emotions

with people and life

can't eat without anxiety

can't sleep without nightmares

all because of you

you left me cold and abandoned

never will i say i love you to

a significant other without feeling regret

never will i sing or write without you

haunting my words

i will and will always be

alone in my head for i am

out of touch with my life

my friends

and my emotions

--------
**This one is MUCH newer... **

(Made on 4-1-0 cool
Silence

I percieved u as a friend
But u turned out to be the foe
I lost all of my chances
And tried to end it in one blow
The touniquets are useless
If u open the wounds again
I wont live in ur denial
So u can haunt me till my end
Don't try to fool me with ur pity
Words are useless without some truth
I can feel my death approaching
Your words are just abuse
And as tomorrow passes
I hear you beckon me inside
I hoped I could find shelter
Or at least a place to hide
Look deep in to these eyes of hate
And maybe u can see
If u had given me a chance
I could have shown u the real me

--------
*Made 10-05-09*

Never Enough


She was never good enough,
Never thin enough.
She was cold inside,
And her eyes grew darker
Every moment of every day.

She though this was the end
The end to the trauma she endured
But it was just the beginning
Of much worse thing to come
How much was a girl of 13 supposed to take?

She was supposed to be like the average girl,
Not being raped, beaten nor sold.
But that was the life she had known for too long.
This girl was born in to the occult,
More accurately, a sex cult.

Her Mom, she sold her for drugs, and any unpaid bills.
She grew up hating men,
Hating God and the world.
She lived a life being nothing but a sex slave.
Being taken advantaged of her natural submissive personality.

She was weary, and new wounds appeared across her chest.
Life kept taking and taking from her
But gave her not one moment of release.
She was a captive of her mind
And also a captive of her families...

When would they be able to see what they have done to her?
A child broken from a families dark secret.
Innocence stolen at only three years old.
She was broken,
And she was silenced by her abusers wrath.

This girl may be walking today,
But her eyes are dark,
Full of secrets no one will ever know.
Full of lies about the past.
Her life is fabricated still, to protect the ones who wronged her.
--------

Please tell me what you think.
Constructive criticism is very much appreciated. Please be blunt, but don't over do it...
Thank you.
~A~

Thank you...
I really appreciate that!
And yes, a lot of what is in my poetry are things that I have been through...
Occasionally, I write about "off-the-wall" type poetry (Ex. Vampires, paranormal... )...
Thanks again for your nice reply!

~A~