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 Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 11:34 am
I am so sick of hearing the word "gay" used in a derogatory way. I get offended when any group is targeted. A lot of my friends say it is the only way I am closed minded. I don't mean to be stubborn or uptight and I do value freedom of speech. But it bothers me to no end listening to such disparaging comments.
Let's focus on the gay bashing in particular, for a moment. Approximately 10% of people are gay. Approximately 75% of ALL teenagers that commit suicide are gay. that shouldn't add up. Almost all teenage suicides comes all from the small 10% of which are gay. I happen to be a bisexual, even though I will hopefully be with my man for the rest of my life and will never have the chance to date a women. I still feel sick to my stomach because I know how it feels to hear these anti-gay remarks everywhere. It feels like you have no allies, that mostly everyone agrees being gay is the worst thing to be...otherwise they would choose a worse insult to use. There are those that argue that gay (meaning bad) doesn't mean gay (meaning homosexual)..come on...why use it then? Of course there is a direct link, that is why it was chosen and from the ears of someone desperate not to have their family disown them and face a lifetime of persecution, to be surrounded by the reminder every five minutes or less in the hallways that you are the worse thing on the planet. Well, it isn't hard to wonder why the suicide rate amongst teenage gays is so high. So, I don't think the jokes are funny; I don't think the freedom of speech is enough; these are lives on the line. In my opinion, I feel we should have the respect for each other to choose to refrain from such targeting stereotypical insults. The damage is more severe then you know.
On the grander scale, as I mentioned, I do get offended by anti -black, anti-jew, etc. (anti-any particular group.) I know a lot of comedians rely on that type of humor. I hear from them a lot that they are part of the race they are insulting, or they insult everyone equally. It is building upon hatred, building upon violence, building upon intolerance. I'm sorry but I just feel when each race/gender/disabled/sexual oriented person, etc. has faced their share of brutal attacks because of how they were born...it is not a joking matter.
Feel free to politely post your opinions. I'm sure plenty of them will be opposing.
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:46 pm
Ok, I read it all and totaly understand. Though everyone has their own oppinion on the gay and straight battle, I know my place.
I dont care if you're gay or not. Dont do it around me and dont hit on me and we'll be ok. That has always been my way. ALL my friends say Im close minded cause of it.
I do use the term "gay" when refering to s**t that annoys me. I mean cmon? We broke the oil pan on the mustang, that was ******** gay s**t right there. I use it to detail something that pisses me off, or when Im talking about gay people in general.
I know and have met some gay people, though I openly admit I try and stay away from them. The term gay doesnt offend a truly gay person, the word "f*****t" does.
I dont use that word unless Im pissed off at a gay person anywho. Still, I dont agree with the gay kind, though my gf is Bisexual and I have dated other Bi females.
I am not homophobic, Im gayparanoid lmao, long time joke between me and some friends.
Also, I have adressed the issues of overcoming hatred with friends and family, and though I have the ability to see past it, they cant.
I admit, sadly, for my own personal past reasons, I hate gays. Maybe not the person, and I can talk to them and be next to them, but thier actions utterly gross me out. As I said, past reasons.
The term gay, originally was meant to be "happy", but when people related rainbows to happiness and homos related rainbows to their "national" color, we set the term gay as a homo term.
I got more to say, but Ill save it for my comeback lol
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 6:07 pm
Yes, the f word is awful. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with saying the word gay to call someone who actually is gay, gay. I'm saying if you use gay to say something "Sh*t, we have a test tomorrow. That is so gay." It is meant in a nasty way. I despise that. Thank you for being open and respectful. You are of course entitled to your opinion. I just brought this up because it is really hurtful and I don't think people who use the term in a mean way realize the harm they inflict on many homosexuals emotionally. Also, when you say"The term gay doesn't offend a truly gay person..." that is generalizing and therefore untrue. As far as you being disgusted by it, I have plenty of friends who agree with you. That you are also entitled to. But my philosophy is much like a television show, if you don't like it, change the channel (in this case, don't look). Of course if you know gay people who are intentionally throwing it your face after you ask them not to. Then those individuals are being disrespectful to you. Thanks for reading all of that also.
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 6:22 pm
Sorry, I got what ya meant, I just tend to over explain my reasoning.
I do know quite alot of gays, more then Id like too. Ive made the gay term around them, and they only asked me to quiet down a lil bit on the over use of the term.
It was more of the "F" word that offends them, and if you call them a "b***h". They get really pissed lmao. Unless ya pulling their hair >.> Lmao horrible joke.
Still, I can use using it in that term can be offence to some, but it I only see it as a term to express annoyance. Not trying to offend anyone, I even know a very very very flambouently gay person, who uses it in the same term as me for that matter, its quite funny to hear him go off.
Also, I wouldnt want to turn ya channel or quiet you, your oppinions are quite a delight to read. And I enjoy responding to them.
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:25 pm
ExileDeath I do know quite alot of gays, more then Id like too. Ive made the gay term around them, and they only asked me to quiet down a lil bit on the over use of the term. Exile, you could know 500 gay people and that would be the tiniest fraction in comparison to gay people as a whole. The fact that they asked you to quiet it down indicates it did hurt them, they may just like you a lot (you seem very likable) and chose not to make a super big deal of it. I also know of some gay people who use the term. the point is the numbers don't lie on those suicide rates and I KNOW how it feels because I am bisexual; I don;t think I can describe how bad it is. I guess I'm pretty sensitive, but still it is so terrible. I mean it caused panic attacks for me in high school. I couldn't help but cry. ExileDeath It was more of the "F" word that offends them, and if you call them a "b***h". They get really pissed lmao. Unless ya pulling their hair >.> Lmao horrible joke. same as what I wrote above...it is only a handful in the grand scheme of things. Each person is an individual. I'm sure plenty of gay people (the other 25% that don't kill themselves possibly) don't mind it as much as I do. ExileDeath Still, I can use using it in that term can be offence to some, but it I only see it as a term to express annoyance. Not trying to offend anyone, I even know a very very very flambouently gay person, who uses it in the same term as me for that matter, its quite funny to hear him go off. I know you may not intend to be offensive. But it is like an elder African American person getting offended by the N word. It is offensive, regardless of your intentions, so please don't take the chance by saying it: it hurts people a lot. why not just use a non offensive word for bad? ExileDeath Also, I wouldnt want to turn ya channel or quiet you, your oppinions are quite a delight to read. And I enjoy responding to them. You've been remarkably respectful and honest. I appreciate your tact. I wouldn't have put this in the debate/controversial section if I didn't expect to hear some opposing views. I also enjoy responding to you in every post because your a good thinker. I like that people have different points of view. This one just happens to hurt a bit because I feel like myself and my kind are being persecuted for what we are. But you seem to consider everything I say and I appreciate that openness. It is a main goal I had in posting this. Sharing my perspective, hearing others, and opening as many minds as possible (hopefully mine as well.) lol, and feel free to elaborate on how delightful listening to me is..my ego could use it tonight. xp
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Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 10:37 pm
I see where this is and started. It is an emotional debat. And I see that the term itself offends you.
I as with all my friends can stop saying something if it does infact hurt their feelings, but even ask Marco, Im a very straight to the point person.
Though I never mean to hurt anyone.
Still, on terms, I live with a black family, though Im white >.> And there are ALOT of older black people that use that term and they get offened if others use it even colored.
I find most humans to be hypocrites. Blacks dont like other to use the N word yet they do, gays dont like religion to be forced onto them but force theirs onto others, women dont like to be call the C word yet call other women it.
Youre a very intelegent person, I wouldnt try to obstruct your views or anyone at that ^_^
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:32 am
Being straight forward is wonderful. I like being open and not tailoring what I say to coincide with the views of others. Not using the word gay with a negative connotation is a favor I ask friends to do for me because it does hurt a lot to hear. I do my best not to be a hypocrite about it. Although it is human nature in some ways to give in. I was so angry with myself for being afraid of an Arabic man on a train a little after September 11th. It went against everything I believe in, yet I couldn't suppress the fear. I suppose the important thing is to put the effort in to what actions you take, which you do have control over. Unfortunately, I agree that it seems many people are hypocrites about it (my boyfriend included.) As far as me being intelligent, in some ways I am sure you are right and I thank you for the compliment (It feels nice..although I am so hard on myself that I'm already bashing myself in my head. lol, I need a good shrink if there are any out there.) As far as obstructing my views, I am not threatened by debate. I relish in it. I am secure in my beliefs and I think challenging them either enhances them or opens me up to new views that I have carefully decided upon. thanks for being so mature about all of this and setting a great example for anyone else who may join into this debate.
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:51 pm
I don't want to be mean or anything, but I am a pretty straightforward person as well, I find this to be true except... Quote: I find most humans to be hypocrites. Blacks dont like other to use the N word yet they do, gays dont like religion to be forced onto them but force theirs onto others, women dont like to be call the C word yet call other women it. I have yet to meet a homosexual that forces anything upon anyone else. I always see those religious folks that firmly believe it is a sin forcing their beliefs upon those gays. I understand they can voice what they believe, but they are always out to "convert" gays...which is a load of nonsense in my opinion. I also agree that the term "gay" has been taken out of context horribly. It has become a slang term we use in place of stupid...I find it extremely offensive too, because it just places homosexuals in the same category as if you're calling them stupid in my opinion... I really hope I am not crossing some line here. Every time I see a debate or conversation about homosexuality I have to say something...I'm thinking it may be because I am a bi-sexual, yet the funny thing (like you care to know this) but my Mom likes to think it is because I am "sexually frustrated..." Yeah, my Mom. Anyway, I don't think that having an attraction or loving the same sex is wrong in any way. We are free to love whoever we want. What a person does in their life should not matter to someone else unless you happen to be close to that person as in a good friend or close family member. Being gay doesn't bother me, but it sure does bother this world and I believe it is only because we are afraid of differences.
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santinodemarco1 Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 4:54 pm
If you don't mind, I do believe I am going to join in on this discussion we have going on here.
My opinion :: I strongly object to using the word "gay" describe something except happiness. That is the only time I use that word unless I'm referring to a person who is homosexual. And honestly, I do prefer using the proper and extended terms like those over the slang terms. [ie : homosexual, heterosexual over gay, straight]. Idk, it's just how I am.
Just today a girl I was sitting next to in class said "This is gay" and my instant reaction was to look at her and widen my eyes. I don't think it's right. Personally, I myself am heterosexual, but in eighth grade I was the person to start saying that "One person is bisexual until they have chosen their sexuality and/or are married" [which to be honest, is completely untrue because you can get married man and woman but then decide to switch over]. But once I told everyone my views it seemed to pick up and by the middle of ninth grade, practically everyone was bisexual. And in my opinion, I do believe that being bisexual has become a trend because again, practically everyone is bisexual. But as an opposing viewpoint of that opinion, a person can't help who and what gender they are attracted to, therefore when attracted to both a male and female the term bisexual is coined and used, and used too much because most persons, teenagers especially, are attracted to anyone who will love them, whether they be male or female. So point end right there.
Out of all the homosexuals that I know, they don't really mind the word 'gay' unless it is used derogatively. Saying 'fagot', which is a bundle of twigs by the way, is extremely hurtful because, hello! Homosexuals are human beings, not sticks lying on the ground. It's ridiculous to compare someone to anything such as an object just because of their race, body type, age, hair/eye/etc color, and/or sexuality. We're all human so if everyone maybe acted on the feelings of others and actually thought about being in that other persons shoes before they opened their mouths maybe this world could possibly be a better place. But with religious practices, parents/guardians, media, and even the President teaching the younger generations how it is wrong to be who you are, we can't get anywhere. Derogatory terms will continue to be used now, and in the future. New ones will be made to coin another slang word of an already slang word. There's no way to stop the use of them.
By the way, just to clear this - I do have many many homosexual and bisexual friends. I support them 100% and have never ever had a problem with them. I accept everyone for who they are and am always there for them. I don't care if your white, black, yellow, blue, homosexual, bisexual, straight, blond, brunette, scene, punk, preppy, whatever. I don't care. As long as you are who you are and are not following anyone to simply try and be cool. Because that is not cool.
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 6:10 pm
The thing about bi-sexual...I can agree that any teenager will take anyone who is going to love them, but there is a point in time when you find yourself undoubtedly attracted to both sexes...I can't say that I am completely..but there is one friend who I would go lesbian in a heartbeat for (that is if we both were to end up lonely at thirty without a man.) So therefore I guess you would call me straight.
Anyway, I hate how the term "gay" has been coined. It bothers me to no end. I wish that people just let them live their life and people live their own. It's not hurting anyone, is it?
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:59 pm
santinodemarco1 [which to be honest, is completely untrue because you can get married man and woman but then decide to switch over]. Ok so, I agree with everything you said except what I quoted above. Hun, I'm so glad you are accepting. but I am bisexual and being one I KNOW that you are BORN the way you are...you do not SWITCH or CHOOSE. Often, people are confused, and it takes them time to figure it out. But nobody TURNS. Who you are attracted to is not something you can control or change, it's just something you figure out over time.
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:59 pm
Kreative-Artizt I don't want to be mean or anything, but I am a pretty straightforward person as well, I find this to be true except... Quote: I find most humans to be hypocrites. Blacks dont like other to use the N word yet they do, gays dont like religion to be forced onto them but force theirs onto others, women dont like to be call the C word yet call other women it. I have yet to meet a homosexual that forces anything upon anyone else. I always see those religious folks that firmly believe it is a sin forcing their beliefs upon those gays. I understand they can voice what they believe, but they are always out to "convert" gays...which is a load of nonsense in my opinion. I also agree that the term "gay" has been taken out of context horribly. It has become a slang term we use in place of stupid...I find it extremely offensive too, because it just places homosexuals in the same category as if you're calling them stupid in my opinion... I really hope I am not crossing some line here. Every time I see a debate or conversation about homosexuality I have to say something...I'm thinking it may be because I am a bi-sexual, yet the funny thing (like you care to know this) but my Mom likes to think it is because I am "sexually frustrated..." Yeah, my Mom. Anyway, I don't think that having an attraction or loving the same sex is wrong in any way. We are free to love whoever we want. What a person does in their life should not matter to someone else unless you happen to be close to that person as in a good friend or close family member. Being gay doesn't bother me, but it sure does bother this world and I believe it is only because we are afraid of differences.
I for one, will be the utter most honest here. I do not support gays. I beyond think its nasty to no end.
So with this I can oppose and say, I met, know, befriended and worked with gays. They know I dont like gays, but Im friends with them because they are good people. "PEOPLE" as in a human, not their sexuality.
Though my life living in 2 states and visiting multiple others, I have met alot and they do what I said they do.
If you talk religion to them, they get pissed because most religion speaks down on gays, but if you say "I dont like it" They get pissed and force the idea down your throat, as they did to me.
I started the biggest fight in Utica history, me vs every f** in that school. It was for the day of silence. I wouldnt be quiet, I refused, not even in respects to a kid who was gay and killed.
What about every other person killed? Why no day of silence for them?
So I had half the gay commute in that school confront me and get in my face and push me because I wouldnt be quiet and I would have that moment of silence for him.
It wasnt disrespectful, it was my belief. Gays take their s**t so damn serious, a gay dies and the world must stand still.
Still, one gay in perticular cussed me out, and I took pleasure in that one. 2 weeks before a friend of mine was talking religion to another friend of ours. This outsider friend, who is gay, freak out and cussed him out for talking about religion in public and it forces others to hear about it and christain are so cruel.
Back to her though, she yelled at me and said "You should accept gays for gays, we are a great nationality and we are kind to our race and others." Her exact quote. . . I ripped into her like none other for being a dump a** hypocrite.
I am brutal and I admit to it. Oh and Marco, Chaotic already knows.
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:19 am
ExileDeath You better read this entire post!
I for one, will be the utter most honest here. I do not support gays. I beyond think its nasty to no end.
So with this I can oppose and say, I met, know, befriended and worked with gays. They know I dont like gays, but Im friends with them because they are good people. "PEOPLE" as in a human, not their sexuality.
Though my life living in 2 states and visiting multiple others, I have met alot and they do what I said they do.
If you talk religion to them, they get pissed because most religion speaks down on gays, but if you say "I dont like it" They get pissed and force the idea down your throat, as they did to me.
I started the biggest fight in Utica history, me vs every f** in that school. It was for the day of silence. I wouldnt be quiet, I refused, not even in respects to a kid who was gay and killed.
What about every other person killed? Why no day of silence for them?
So I had half the gay commute in that school confront me and get in my face and push me because I wouldnt be quiet and I would have that moment of silence for him.
It wasnt disrespectful, it was my belief. Gays take their s**t so damn serious, a gay dies and the world must stand still.
Still, one gay in perticular cussed me out, and I took pleasure in that one. 2 weeks before a friend of mine was talking religion to another friend of ours. This outsider friend, who is gay, freak out and cussed him out for talking about religion in public and it forces others to hear about it and christain are so cruel.
Back to her though, she yelled at me and said "You should accept gays for gays, we are a great nationality and we are kind to our race and others." Her exact quote. . . I ripped into her like none other for being a dump a** hypocrite.
I am brutal and I admit to it. Oh and Marco, Chaotic already knows. Aww, Exile, your doing a lot of generalizing again (homosexuals, and now Christians.) That is quite a dangerous thing to do. I am not going to defend every individual...they each have different flaws and positive attributes regardless of their sexual orientation, gender, race, etc. However, when Homosexuals are targeted as much as they are, they have a right to feel passionate about it. Also, I do appreciate your honesty; but just because your beliefs are extreme doesn't mean you are being more honest then anyone else here. I know for a fact that I am at least just as honest.
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:39 pm
I understand and know yall are just as honest.
But I speak from experience and what Ive came across in my life.
I am not as extreme as most would think. I am very laid back and accept "people".
I dont like true confrination or fighting or anything of the sorts.
I just dont like what Ive seen in people.
You think homosexuals are targeted more then christains? Thats far from the, its graphed and quoted that christains are looked down upon more then any other group alive, more even then al quida terrists and wtf ever they are called.
Lets keep this topic to subject.
I use the term "gay" to express stupid s**t. I know at term it is wrong and I find it wrong, but I'd be a hypocrite to honestly say that I NEVER say it.
Im not trying to start a fight, just in a bad mood ^_^
People keep txting me about the hospitle >.>
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:53 pm
I still have to say that it comes from both sides. Christians will force their beliefs on someone and the homosexuals will combat that with their own belief. The ones that become violent I do not appreciate; Christians and homosexuals alike. And the ones that you describe, Exile, don't seem to be the tolerant ones. I like that you are very passionate in your opinion, but hold that view of tolerance. You did not get that in return according to your experience with gays. I find that disappointing.
Also, I am not sure that I can believe that Christians are the most persecuted group around. Unless, there is some statistics or worldwide scientific study proving that I am not going to believe it.
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