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 Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 10:54 am
You know. I've been in my current relationship for about 4 or so months. It's been so hard, up til now, because he has kids and I had to learn to cope. His son is blatantly disrespectful to me, at all times. All I want to do it tackle that kid and hit him, or at least punish him accordingly. I can't even do that though, I have to on my tiptoes, afraid that I'll punish too severely for the given situation. It's the most ridiculous situation I've ever been in, really. I can't be in a relationship with kids involved. I can't even stand to be around children.
Ooh, man. He spoils the hell out of his son, too. His son is so stuck up and snobby, because of it. He always breaks things, his dvd player and several dvds. He tells us to put his clothes on for him, even though he knows how. He had screaming fits and terrible tantrums every morning and every night. I absolutely hate hearing his shrieking screams so early in the morning, screaming about everything from what kind of cereal he wants to how he doesn't want to bathe.
I could deal with all that though, because I had a strong relationship to look foreward to with a great guy I loved, and whatever. That's when he stopped paying attention to me, and I started having a serious problem with it.
First, he didn't talk to me nearly as much, then stopped all the fun things we used to do, and finally stopped kissing me and showing me any kind of verification that I was still in his eyes. Upset by this, I kept trying to talk to him about it. I tried about three times, last night being the climax of our talks.
More or less, it amounted to him thinking that I was trying to get rid of his son, when really all I wanted was for him to stop spoiling him, start punishing him, and start paying attention to me and spending time with me.
Now, I'm thinking of leaving him, though I told him he'd have one last chance to prove that he actually wants to be with me. God, this is exactly why I usually fly solo.
I'm tired of doing all the dishes, cleaning the house, dealing with the cats, punishing his son when he's disrespectful, only to be treated like I don't matter. I don't deserve to be treated like an object.
I'm so fed up, but I'm willing to give it one last chance. Just once, only because I told him I would.
I hate relationships, most of the time.
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Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 2:20 pm
Listen, some men need to
do the opposite of what their
own father did to them to their
own son. Because he is so sure
that by spoiling the kid, it will
become a better man and be
happier than the father ever
was. It'll take a lot of effort
and probably some therapy
for him to get over it, plus
he's going to see you as
the enemy for a long time
since he knows you have no
idea what he's been through,
how sad he really is, and now
you're standing in his way and
preventing happiness for his son.
I suggest you ditch him.
Life's too short to deal
with everyone else's
problems. Find another
boy while you're still
young and beautiful.
He's not going to change
any time soon, and you
really don't need that crap.
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Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 3:21 pm
I appreciate the advice, really. It's just not quite that easy. See, we live together and I may or may not have another place to go. I actually have to try to make it work this time, I can't just run.
I don't know why he feels the need to spoil his son, probably to make his son see him as being a better parent then his own mother. It's definitely not because of his father though, he doesn't have a father.
You're right though, he's most likely not going to change at all, despite how much I talk to him about the situation. Thank you, I really needed to hear that.
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 4:43 am
If he can't change, then you have to change. But is it worth it? If you want out, better be quick before it's too late.
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 5:12 am
Life suck every where. Take it or leave it.
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