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 Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 12:43 pm
Well, this was written quite some time ago. A couple of years actually. So, it's not that great, but I'd like to see what everyone thinks.
Here I Am
Here I Am
Waiting For You
Standing Here
Forever and Ever
You will find me here
Here I Am
Do You Know How Long I've Been Waiting?
I Can't Wait Forever
Hurry Up Or I Won't Be Here Much Longer
Are You Coming?
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Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 11:12 am
TulipznPandaz Here I Am Waiting For You Standing Here Forever and Ever You will find me here Here I Am Do You Know How Long I've Been Waiting? I Can't Wait Forever Hurry Up Or I Won't Be Here Much Longer Are You Coming? I know poetry doesn't necessarily need it, but I'm always sad when I see a lack of punctuation. Also, when you're capitalizing most of the words in a sentence, either do it in every sentence, or don't do it at all... Not that I'm a fan of capitalizing every word, but if you're going to do something, go all out. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you were younger when this was written? Not quite a teenager, or mid-teens? It sounds like something I wrote when I was fourteen, and had just started poetry. Some advice from a six to seven year experienced writer: If you're going to be writing poetry, you should read a lot of different poets work, and try out a lot of different styles. Look up when kinds of poetry styles there are online. Get to know what styles you have to work with. Oh, and that color for the poem text? I think my eyes are bleeding from trying to read that. Do you think you could change it to something less offensive?
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Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:35 pm
Change the text color, I want to make my eyes last until late 30's. The poem was really generic. I realize you said in was old but why don't you revise it and make it more distinct.
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Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 2:35 pm
Tommy Dionysus: Thanks so much for the tips! I haven't wrote much since then also. Yes, that's right I wasn't that old either. I was around 11 or 12 I believe. Okay, I will do that later in the future. I really enjoy writing poetry when I can so I hope to be able to do that.
Great Gigi: Yes, it was. Well, I didn't think of that. I thought I should leave it the way it was because of how bad quality it was.
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 10:23 am
TulipznPandaz Tommy Dionysus: Thanks so much for the tips! I haven't wrote much since then also. Yes, that's right I wasn't that old either. I was around 11 or 12 I believe. Okay, I will do that later in the future. I really enjoy writing poetry when I can so I hope to be able to do that.
Great Gigi: Yes, it was. Well, I didn't think of that. I thought I should leave it the way it was because of how bad quality it was. Well, its understandable. Writing poetry is a healing process, sometimes. Helps you keep your head. Even if it sucks, its still helpful to get it out. And the more you write and look into what a massive field poetry can be, the better you get. Check some of my poetry out. I'm not the best, but I write a lot and am constantly changing up styles and formats. I have so much fun. Also, on the note of revision, sometimes it is better to keep the old version, write a revised version, and show them both off in the same thread. Because that way people get to see how much better you've gotten since 11 or 12. When you get some time, think of ways you could have worded that poem differently to make it flow better, and write the revised version that way. Then post it in here and we'll tell you what we think of it.
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 3:26 pm
Tommy Dionysus TulipznPandaz Tommy Dionysus: Thanks so much for the tips! I haven't wrote much since then also. Yes, that's right I wasn't that old either. I was around 11 or 12 I believe. Okay, I will do that later in the future. I really enjoy writing poetry when I can so I hope to be able to do that.
Great Gigi: Yes, it was. Well, I didn't think of that. I thought I should leave it the way it was because of how bad quality it was. Well, its understandable. Writing poetry is a healing process, sometimes. Helps you keep your head. Even if it sucks, its still helpful to get it out. And the more you write and look into what a massive field poetry can be, the better you get. Check some of my poetry out. I'm not the best, but I write a lot and am constantly changing up styles and formats. I have so much fun. Also, on the note of revision, sometimes it is better to keep the old version, write a revised version, and show them both off in the same thread. Because that way people get to see how much better you've gotten since 11 or 12. When you get some time, think of ways you could have worded that poem differently to make it flow better, and write the revised version that way. Then post it in here and we'll tell you what we think of it.
That's true. Practice makes perfect after all. I will do that! I haven't had as much time to be on here as much, but I will do that now. It is fun.
Hmm, all right then. If I get the chance I will try to do that. I really appreciate all of your help. It means a lot, seeing as how I hadn't had much at the time.
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:13 pm
It's not a problem at all, Lovely. If not to help out other writers or artists, what else is this sub-forum for?
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