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 Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 5:58 pm
This is one of the songs I wrote recently for a friend of mine (f0urletterlies)...tell me what you think?
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I just hung up my phone.
I was chatting with my best friend.
She said, "I've got something to tell you
that you won't like."
She says the boy I was in love with,
he doesn't feel the same way for me.
He's got a million excuses.
"I'm not his type."
So I will put on my brave face.
I will face this with poise.
I won't tell you how much you meant to me.
I will block out the noise.
I will look to the future.
I will hold my head high.
I won't count the days and nights since you said goodbye.
Oh, I'll try...
Try not to cry.
My friends ask me what's wrong,
'cause I can't hide the tear-stained eyes
and I know that my disguise
is coming loose.
I admit I really like him.
They say, "You ought to forget him."
But there's just one little problem:
He's my life.
So I will put on my brave face.
I will face this with poise.
I won't tell you how much you meant to me.
I will block out the noise.
I will look to the future.
I will hold my head high.
I won't count the days and nights since you said goodbye.
Oh, I'll try...
Try not to cry.
But things are crashing down on me,
and oh, his face,
it's an image I can't erase.
He's on my mind
all the time,
I can't deny...
But I will put on my brave face.
I will face this with poise.
I won't tell you how much you meant to me.
I will block out the noise.
I will look to the future.
I will hold my head high.
I won't count the days and nights since you said goodbye.
Oh, I'll try...
Try not to cry.
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Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:05 pm
what a sad song.....so true.... so freaking true!!! rofl
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Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:42 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 10:31 pm
Its pretty meaningful and true, however, as honest and personal as your lyrics are, it would be better if more metaphors were used to make the meaning very deep and hard to understand as opposed to a song that sounds naked. You are actualy doing a good job but think about it, this topic of a broken heart has been used so many times in songs but originality depends on your own personal lyrical styles and how you arrange them and you wanna make people wonder and get lost in it. Just take every wound, happiness, hate ect. out of your mind to the fullest. Dig down deep until you loose yourself in though and focusing becomes effortless and rip it out and stain it the hell on paper or whatever you are writing on. For example, in my lyrics, i say hell to grammer cuz they just like chains that tie u up unallowing you to burst out what you really mean. If you break the rules, people will see you as extream and respect the change u bring. Also, this would be a good progromatic structured song. Other than that it is good, just giving you crtique based on my criterion and taste in lyrics. A band that really inspired me in lyrics if u wanna check them out is "The Chase." Again they are underground so a good song to search and my fav. is "Awake at the Roadside." Great title and lyrics once you actualy understand the song. Trust me, it took me a hell of time to figure it out. Well yea, that's it sry this post is long lol keep it up though.
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