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I say this very lightly as I am not an expert but does your character have any faults?



*looks at qoute* Okay, that's the only fault I've seen in her.


Wonderful profile with lots of great detail, so I have no other comments besides that. Just trying to avoid her being a 'Mary Sue' biggrin

Hmm...I may have either missed some information or it wasn't put up when I posted her (not sure which, as I haven't had time to read over in a while, unfortunately), but it's easy enough to re-tailor her and have her as a transfer to Igen if that becomes a believability issue.

I think she'd be fun to play in a place where she'd end up causing altogether too much conflict for her own good, as I wrote her to get herself into trouble.

Thank you both for your input. :3

^^ That all sounds good to me, good stuff.

RIDER INFORMATION
Name: Kenne
Age: 33
Sex: Female
Orientation: Self-proclaimed “opportunist” with no specific tendencies
Rank: Searchrider.
Physical Description: Kenne would never, under even the best circumstances, be called beautiful. Her features are too sharp for that. She has a strong face, with heavy dark brows and an aquiline nose that tends to be the focal point of her face. Her eyes are dark brown and piercing, but her expressions are vibrant and warm, and she’s much quicker to smile than to frown. Her hair is black; she keeps it cropped short with a braided rattail. She is short, barely five feet, and heavier than would be expected for a dragonrider (‘curvy’ would be a polite way of phrasing it), but nonetheless carries herself with an air of great confidence.
Personality: Above all, Kenne is a pleasure-seeker. If it feels nice or makes her happy, she’ll do it. Wherever there is good food, good drink, and good company, Kenne will no doubt be in the midst of it. She enjoys any and all card games, but lacks a poker face and will almost always lose. A drinker but never a drunk, she can drink most women and some men under the table and has a reputation for showing up wherever wine is being poured. She takes her epicurean philosophy to heart in every part of her life, particularly when it comes to lovers. It’s rare that she’ll keep anyone for more than a sevenday, and she doesn’t take relationships seriously. She’d rather have a one-night-stand than a weyrmate, and tends to keep her options open.

She thrives in noisy, crowded situations, and feels incomplete when she’s not in company. Though she prefers spending time with Weyrfolk, Kenne will start up a conversation with anyone if she’s near them for more than a minute or two. Nobody makes her uncomfortable, and it’s rare that Kenne makes anyone uncomfortable. She fancies herself a complete charmer and is generally right. She can read the crowd well and almost always knows the right words to calm any situation, and she’s extremely persuasive when given the time to be so.

This part is what comes off as Sueish. In general, Kenne seems to have a bajillion things that could be flaws, but are presented as charming quirks. I think the flaws need to be spelled out more clearly, and also? These two lines in red could do with an overhaul, particularly the part where you say she ‘almost always knows the right words to calm any situation’, and where you says she’s generally right about being a complete charmer. Spell out the flaws for me, clearly and without excuses for her.

When it comes time to be serious, Kenne often has difficulty pulling it off. She and Reyenth (well, mostly Reyenth) can be counted on to be there and ready for action when the call goes out, but Kenne can’t be counted on to show up on time, or fully-dressed, or even alone. She tends to make light of situations that are not the sort one ought to make light of, and is frequently overly-familiar with her leaders. She takes criticism and punishment without much fuss, but very rarely gets flustered and doesn’t always take it to heart. She has high tolerance for stupidity and people she might personally dislike, and is a great devotee of the ‘smile and nod’ technique. Generally, Kenne is too laid-back to take the lead of anything.

She dislikes overly-demanding or harsh leaders, but listens well to orders. She is fiercely loyal, a hard worker when she decides to focus, and alert, but definitely a follower. It would be rare that Kenne would speak up against a leader no matter how much she disliked them, and the odds are good that short of an order that would result in death, she’d keep quiet about any disagreements she had and simply let the leader take the fall in the end. When she pipes up about anything, it’s usually at Reyenth’s request (or, more accurately, ceaseless insistence).

History: Kenne was born in Igen. Her mother, a rather untalented drudge, never bothered disclosing the name of her father, who was a brownrider and apparently had no knowledge of Kenne’s existence. Raised mostly by her mother (whose lack of skill gave her the free time to care for a baby) but always an energetic handful, as soon as she was old enough to fetch and carry, Kenne was sent off to help wherever an extra pair of hands was needed. She tended to be shunted back and forth, learning a bit here, a bit there, though she mostly did fetching and carrying for people who had bigger and better things to do. When she was twelve, she was allowed to stand for Hatchings.

When she was fourteen, she stood on the Hatching Sands for the last time. The hatching wasn’t a particularly rough one, but an early mauling left Kenne frightened for her life in the presence of that particular clutch. Indeed, when she spied something barreling toward her, she had a brief moment where she honestly thought it would be the death of her.

Luckily, the dragon that strode up to her didn’t bring death. Just a bad attitude. He knocked her down, winded her, and then sat on her stomach. When Kenne opened her eyes and managed to catch her breath, she found herself looking up the muzzle of a small, sleek Blue, who snorted in her face before saying simply, Hmph. You’ll do for Reyenth.

And just like that, she and the pale, rude dragonet became lifemates. Kenne had an endless supply of patience and good humour to balance Reyenth’s aggravated harping, and Reyenth supplied the girl with the additional spark and seriousness she needed to keep up in a world of larger, stronger, more focused riders. As they grew, it soon became apparent that Reyenth was ill-suited to any maneuvers but those for greens. He most certainly didn’t have the stamina, and as that became more and more important to the training, the pair cast about for somewhere else they could be useful, Reyenth to save his pride, Kenne out of a desire to do everything she could.

As the clutches grew larger and the Red Star nearer, more and more Searches were needed to bring sufficient Candidates to stand for Hatchings. It wasn’t long until Kenne’s silver tongue and easygoing manner, and her dragon’s flashy colouration, brought them to the forefront as a potential new pair of Searchriders. Kenne was wholly willing, and Reyenth, who was fonder of children and Candidates than he was of any other humans, eventually agreed to go out and bring back youngsters.

Pets: N/A
Other/Talents: Can do a few silly card tricks, holds her liquor like a pro, and is a dab hand at knots. She’s also not too shabby a dancer.
Picture: None right now.

DRAGON INFORMATION
Name: Reyenth
Color: Blue
Physical Description: Reyenth is a pretty blue: lithe, on the small side and incredibly delicate in stature, and striking in colour. He is an extremely pale, almost white, turquoise with a striping of darker turquoise on his neck, back, and tail. The webbing of his wings is that same darker shade. He is an agile flyer, quick and almost as nimble as a green, but is also quicker to tire than most of his colour. It is highly unlikely he would last an entire Threadfall.
Personality: Reyenth is not a friendly dragon. Sharp and acerbic, he is quick to take offense and rather snappish with people in general. Around dragons alone and anyone too young or too old to possibly be of interest to Kenne, he is fine if a bit curt, but Faranth help those who think they can get to Kenne (or Reyenth) without Reyenth’s permission. Things that take Kenne’s attention away from him are rivals. He has very little patience for humans. He tolerates children fairly well, all other humans badly, and is slavishly devoted to Kenne to the point of jealousy toward her bedmates. When he remembers to, he hates Holders and views them as an affront to dragonkind. He tends to make generalizations about people (all men are rivals, all Holders are evil, all greenriders are stupid and all greens are vapid) that Kenne constantly has to contradict.

He is proud, haughty, and extremely vain about his appearance and agility—and he doesn’t much like listening to others unless they are of the right colour. In that respect, Reyenth is extremely old-fashioned. Browns, bronzes, and Queens are to be listened to, browns only if they are of Wingsecond rank or above. The same goes for bronzes, actually. ...In reality, Kenne and Queens are the only beings who can completely earn Reyenth’s obedience, but as long as Kenne is around to enforce orders, he will not make overt trouble. He might, however, grumble loudly to any dragon in range if he really dislikes something he has to do.

That said, he’s incredibly serious about what he does, and he will always arrive impeccably on time to drills or meetings. He listens studiously, if simply so he can gripe about what he’s been told to do, and always makes sure Kenne is present for anything she’s supposed to be doing. He has no qualms about dragging his rider places and is perfectly all right with constantly berating her when she’s not paying attention or doing something wrong.

He doesn’t have much of a sex drive; he’s ridiculously picky about females and will only give chase if he has decided they are worth his effort. In Flights, his size and stamina (or lack thereof) tends to make him fall short, but when he does manage to catch a green, he is surprisingly affectionate with her in the following days. After about a sevenday, though, he gets snappish toward her rider, and while Kenne might be perfectly happy to continue the relationship, Reyenth will chase the pair away.

Theoretically, his heart is in the right place. He gets along best with laid-back, easygoing blues and browns, but Reyenth is willing to tolerate any dragon who’s not trying to give him orders or flirt with him. He’s respectful but not very comfortable around Queens and is easily put off by any pushy personalities. He does, somewhere deep down, have a sense of humour, and will play little tricks on his rider if he thinks nobody’s watching.

Other: Reyenth doesn’t actively mean any harm to humans, not even Kenne’s flavour-of-the-week. His threat displays are limited to growling or the occasional half-hearted snap.

Why these two? Kenne needs Reyenth to keep her in line and focused when it comes time to crack down. Reyenth needs Kenne, who is both patient and easygoing, to balance out his snippiness. Kenne's cheerful acceptance of nearly everything that happens to her means she can take Reyenth's acerbic behaviour in her stride and keep him from doing anything that could get them into actual trouble. Reyenth's serious streak keeps Kenne from doing something completely stupid, and he pushes his rider to excel when she might otherwise sit back and let the world pass her by. They've managed to achieve a sort of equilibrium.

See, it feels like you spent a lot more time writing up Reyenth’s profile (despite the obvious disparity in length), and gave him all the flaws that Kenne is lacking. In practice, I think that could work quite well. I have yet to see anything about him that I find to be unrealistic, so I’m not sure why you wanted us to focus on him, but there you go.

Lots to think and work on. Thanks, Chibi!

^^ They sound good to me! Might want to check though that it's okay for them to have been searchriders in the past, as it is a ranking position <3