Welcome to Gaia! ::

no your mom or you face jokes please! my mortal enemy would over use those SOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooo! much!!! scream
so lets here some good ones people!

Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. The guitarist holds the bulb, and the world revolves around him.

•Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
•The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
•Obviously you're unable to assimilate my stimulating concepts into your blighted world-view.
•I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
•Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

•I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
•I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
•I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
•Does everyone visualize duct tape over your mouth so early into the conversation?
•I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you being competent.

•It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
•Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
•No, my powers can only be used for good.
•How about never? Is never good for you?
•I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

•You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication
•You're just jealous because the little voices talk to ME.
•Are you a freaking ray of sunshine every day?
•I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
•I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

•I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
•It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
•It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
•You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
•Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

•And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
•Do I look like a people person?
•Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
•If I throw a stick, will you leave?
•You!... Off my planet!

•Does your train of thought have a caboose?
•Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
•Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
•Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
•I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

•Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
•I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
•I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
•What am I?... Flypaper for freaks!
•I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

•A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
•Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
•Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
•Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
•How do I set a laser printer to stun?

•I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
•Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

YUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by the way, i think kids who love their parents should be treated for Stockholm syndrome

thats some twisted logic
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i love it twisted

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Schopenhauer