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Melodic Marzipan Vice Captain
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 Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:06 pm
It's the beginning of a comic I'm doing in story form. It won't make sense now, but if you read the whole thing, it would.
The dark and damp Underworld was lit with flames. They burned and licked at the ground. A king sat in a throne. He called out into the dark, "Bring him in." A boy the age of 19 was brought it. He was wearing a lock around his neck and cuffs on his arms. His shirt was gone and few scars covered his body. The king looked at him and smiled. "Oh, Haru," he said, "It's time our people were rid of you."
Haru grew angry. "What the hell are you spouting old man?!" He looked at him sternly. He hated the Underworld but couldn't understand for his sudden behavior.
"Do not call your father names! You awful child!" He screamed at him.
Haru grew red. He closed his eyes and yelled back. "You're not my father! You're a murderer, Uncle!"
The king snapped. He stood and pointed one finger at Haru. An electric shock came from his lock and zapped him. He screamed in agony.
"Don't you ever call me that! Respect your elders! I'm the King!" He sat down in exahustion. "Guards... take him to the gate."
The men grabbed the shocked Haru and gave him some clothes. He put them on and thought about his predictaments. Why did Dad have to marry that human? What did he see in her? He sighed and walked forward to a large gate. It opened slowly and a light flowed out of it. It sucked him in and the gate closed.
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Haru stood up and looked around him. He was in a small park with trees and lush grass. He noticed a paper fall from the sky. He picked it up and read it.
Haru, Welcome to Earth.
The lock on your neck will keep your powers at bay. This includes your wings.
You're not allowed to return until you kill a human. I know how much you care about them.
From, the King.
He crumpled the paper and slammed his fist into a tree. Tears streamed down his face. "How'd that a*****e know?!"
That's all for now. Yeah. Confusing. XD
If you like it please post feedback! Or if you didn't like it just go ahead a criticize me... I'll just wait....
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:12 pm
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Melodic Marzipan Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:16 pm
Haru stopped his tears just enough to notice a bright light in the sky. He looked up at it shining through the clouds. Soon, he could see a girl falling from the sky. Her blond hair flew as she fell.
Haru looked at her. "I have to save her!" But my wings....They're sealed by the lock... I have to try! I have to save her! He stood his ground and his black wings came from his back. The lock on his neck shocked him and he winced in pain.
The girl continued to fall from the clouds. She opened her eyes and noticed she was heading for a park full of trees below her. She closed her eyes and hoped that she would live through the impact. She opened her eyes slightly and noticed she was floating. Black feathers surrounded her and she looked up.
Haru was holding her in his arms, sweating from the pain. He floated down slowly and placed the girl on the ground. His wings receeded and he let out a deep breath.
The girl looked at him and smiled. "Thank you for your kindness, demon."
Haru looked at her shocked. "How could a human like you, much less a blond, know I'm a demon." He then whispered to himself slightly, "Other than the fact that my wings were showing."
The girl's eyes began to well up. "Mr.Demon... How can you believe in such stereotypes! It hurts my feelings."
Haru tried to stop her from going any further. "Well, just how did you know?"
The girl smiled. "I felt your vibrations."
Haru looked at her confused. "Vibrations?"
She giggled and replied. "Wow! You really are silly! It's because I used my powers! I'm not human, I'm an angel."
Haru looked at her with a blank look. She stood in a ridiculous pose and he was holding in his laughter. He couldn't handle it anymore. "Pfft! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" He laughed loudly and the girl didn't have any idea why.
There's some more for ya. Feedback is appreciated!
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:20 pm
That angel kinda sounds like Rena...lol
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Melodic Marzipan Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:20 pm
Kinda. She's way more mature than her though. I haven't gotten to that part yet.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:24 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:39 pm
the hole thing is interesting and well written. I realy like your good 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 7:36 pm
Thank you for the comments. Everything gets clearer as it goes along.
Haru wiped away a tear from his face and finished laughing. "So... if you were falling from the sky, why didn't you use your own wings?"
The girl looked shocked at him. A tear slid down her cheek.
Haru looked at her confused. "Is it really such a taboo topic?"
She closed her eyes and held her hands to her chest. A light surrounded her and a halo appeared above her golden hair. She opened her eyes and a wing flew from her left shoulder.
Haru looked at her amazed. He's seen angels before, but this one had one wing. "It can't be that bad. You aren't thrashed around by your 'King'."
The girl changed back into her human form. "It's just so lonely in the clouds. So warm but so cold. As a child people acted nicely to me, but they talked about me behind my back. God told me if I found the human on 'Earth' that has my other wing, we could combine and become one. It would unleash my full powers. That's why I'm here."
Haru smiled. "Don't worry with your vibes and my, restricted, powers, we'll find your wing." He smiled and a drop of rain fell from the sky.
Soon, a sudden downpour drenched them both.
Damn rain, Haru thought. "But first let's find some shelter."
The girl smiled, "I'm with you on that one."
A young woman holding an umbrella noticed them and went up to them. "Oh my! You're soaked!"
That's some more for now. Comment please!
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Melodic Marzipan Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 7:41 pm
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 7:42 pm
*Hides embarassed* ... Thank you, mintchan.... O.o
If I knew how to work my printer/copier then I'd put the comic on here, but I'm DUMB.
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Melodic Marzipan Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 7:53 pm
u need a scanner if u drew it :3
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Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:40 am
its so good1 ah i cant wait to read more!!!!
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Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 12:59 am
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Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:42 pm
Mucho gracias, senioritas. Muy bueno. XD
A teacup full of hot liquid sat on a table. The girl drank her cup and Haru looked behind him at the woman from before. She was holding a tea kettle.
"Does anyone need more?" she asked.
Haru smiled and grabbed his cup. "No, thank you."
The woman sat down and looked at the two. "So, what are your names?"
The girl finished with her cup. "I'm Fane."
Haru took a sip of his and placed it on the table. "Haru," he replied.
The woman smiled. "What beautiful names... Haru, was it? I have some clothes for you in the other room if you would like to put them on."
Haru stood up and walked down the hallway to the opened room.
The woman took a drink from her cup. "So, Fane, why were you two standing out in such a downpour?"
Fane smiled. "We were just talking and it began to pour on us."
The woman chuckled. "Shall I make us some soup to warm us?"
Fane grinned. "Oh, yes, please!"
"Will you go ask Haru what kind he would like?"
"Sure!"
Fane smiled and pranced down the hallway. She's so nice... she took us in... She must be a saint! Fane poked her head around the doorway where Haru dressed. "Hey, Haru! I..."
She stopped mid-sentence. He wasn't wearing a shirt and she could see his bare skin. Oh my god, I forgot he was getting dressed!!
She blushed and then looked back at him. Did I see, scars...?
More words for you eyes to eat upon. Adios!
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Melodic Marzipan Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:45 pm
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Reply
