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 Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:49 am
I'll post whatever it is I think up here.
Critique please, I want the bad stuff.
Stand to fight,
You crawl through my night,
Stare through my fright,
Now we can take flight.
Fly through the moon light,
Disguised as a loose Kite,
Try to stay out of sight,
Looking for what is right.
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Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:19 am
Did you make it to the moon? Did you stay out of sight? Did you find all that is right? What was all that was right?
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Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:37 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 4:48 pm
Demon of the Stars Critique please, I want the bad stuff. If you want something to work on then maybe you should work on making more syllables rhyme, like instead of saying, "Stare though my fright, Now we must take flight." You could try saying, "Stare through my fright, Now we take high flight." The rhyming is in bold. Now I want to write multies!
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Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 1:57 pm
What was the point of that post?
It had absolutely nothing to do with the topic.
@ Fart
Soooo, same amount of words per line? Or... Elaborate?
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Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 2:02 pm
Demon of the Stars
What was the point of that post?
It had absolutely nothing to do with the topic.
@ Fart
Soooo, same amount of words per line? Or... Elaborate?Oh, you don't understand, by bull, I mean bull crap. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to make every line rhyme with the others. Every other line, sure. Interchanging rhymes, okay. Two and two, perhaps. Every line, bull crap. But that's just my opinion.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:52 am
jaxcam Demon of the Stars
What was the point of that post?
It had absolutely nothing to do with the topic.
@ Fart
Soooo, same amount of words per line? Or... Elaborate?Oh, you don't understand, by bull, I mean bull crap. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to make every line rhyme with the others. Every other line, sure. Interchanging rhymes, okay. Two and two, perhaps. Every line, bull crap. But that's just my opinion.
It's a style. Just as your beloved hiaku is a style.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 8:38 am
Demon of the Stars jaxcam Demon of the Stars
What was the point of that post?
It had absolutely nothing to do with the topic.
@ Fart
Soooo, same amount of words per line? Or... Elaborate?Oh, you don't understand, by bull, I mean bull crap. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to make every line rhyme with the others. Every other line, sure. Interchanging rhymes, okay. Two and two, perhaps. Every line, bull crap. But that's just my opinion.
It's a style. Just as your beloved hiaku is a style. I don't love haikus, I just think they're easiest to think up. No rhyming needed.
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 8:06 pm
What? But you weren't counting syllables, where you?... But yes! You should count syllables! I secretly have trouble telling which syllables are stressed... I mean... I can tell the difference. <.<
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:39 pm
PulchritudinousFartJoker What? But you weren't counting syllables, where you?... But yes! You should count syllables! I secretly have trouble telling which syllables are stressed... I mean... I can tell the difference. <.<
Got it!
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