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 Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 5:16 pm
Hi Guys and Girls,
My name is Jordan and I am the owner of True Colors. I just wanted to give you a little information about myself.
To start off, even though my avatar is female, I am indeed male. I'm of Nubian, American Indian, and various other 'races' and am in constant struggle with each. I'm 21 years old but in December I will be turning 22. I am not openly gay but I wouldn't really consider myself to be on the "DL/Down Low" either. I have never had a boyfriend and am not sexually active. (lol when I finished that sentence a girl friend of mine asked me when I am going to lose my virginity xp )
I started this guild because even though I'm not knee deep in the gay culture I started to notice certain things about it when I started researching it a little. At first the main concern that I had was this portrayal of gay black men as being self hating disease spreading homothugs or really stupid lack luster sl^ts. But before I thought any deeper on the subject I couldn't help but wonder; "Are there other people of color who feel that they aren't portrayed in proper light?" I did a bit more research and found some very interesting articles written by people of color. As I thought, there were so many that felt as though they are misrepresented by the mainstream.
I made this guild so that we can work towards putting an end to gay stereotyping, gay racism, the idolization and glorification of the mainstream, and to educate others who may have been mislead by the mainstream when it comes to the inquiries they have regarding other peoples.
I plan on writing in my journal as often as possible. I hope that this serves my readers quest for understanding even one person who is a member of a community apart, but not so different, from their own.
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 12:57 pm
Today at work...wow sweatdrop
So my boss is this Irish guy in his 40s, he's also gay. There have been a couple of times when I've gone in to work and found a few web pages open that are a bit gross (what I consider to be gross). These were all ads for random hook-ups on craiglist. Today was different though, because today I went to go turn the volume on the music down on the second computer when I saw another add open. I'm kind of noy so I opened it. This time it was an add that he himself had posted with very exposed picture included. I'm a little weirded out by it because I have to go into work tomorrow and I am not looking forward to talking to him at all because of how uncomfortable I feel right now.
The thing about it is this>>I obviously don't care that he's gay because obviously I am too, but what's up with all of the random hookups?
It could be overly self righteous of me, but I don't approve of all of this random online hook up business. I think it shows complete disrespect for ones self and I think it puts people at risk.
Even if he wraps it up he's still at risk for so many other STIs that condoms don't prevent 100% of STIs and they aren't even 100% effective when it comes to stopping the ones that they are intended to stop. Say he picks up something that is spread through simple contact with that area? I don't like shaking people's hands and I definitely do NOT shake hands with people who I know are way promiscuous because of this.
I feel kind of bad for my boss but at the same time I hate to think it but there is a small possibility that I could turn out to be like him: 44 years old and still closeted, looking for hook-ups with random strangers to satisfy his lust, and so much in denial that he goes out of his way to talk crap about other gay people behind their backs to kind of prove his imaginary straightness or whatever.
He's hit on another co-worker of mine, Pablo. When it happened Pablo went completely crazy. He yelled at him in this strange combination of Portuguese and English according to what I'm told. After that every single Brazilian in Boston knew about my boss' sexual orientation. To be honest the entire neighborhood probably questions mine too just because I work with him.
There are a few people in the neighborhood that know I like guys because of a little bit of staring at my end, and that's what first made me think that that I could turn out like him. I check people out, but I am not out. While I'm not sexually active and pride myself on the control I have over my actions(not having sex with every/any guy that shows interest) what if something happens and I lose control? Doesn't everyone lose control at some point? I mean no one just starts off as an easy have sex with anyone because they "need" it type of person do they?
I want to be out, but I'm so scared of what would happen afterward. I'll talk more about my fears later on. There is a huge possibility that I am blowing my fears out of proportion, but then again maybe I'm not.
I just absolutely have to make sure that I don't end up like my boss.
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Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:44 pm
I had orientation yesterday. In total...4 hot guys. One of them seems to be into the same things that I am when it comes to love of DC Comics and video games. I didn't talk to him, but I wouldn't pursue a relationship with him even if I knew how. He's taller than I am....but also younger than I am xp
lol
They aren't making it easy for me to get this student aid, but I guess I'm still good considering that I've all ready paid out of pocket for my classes. That's one benefit of taking a few years off from school to work. It'd still be nice to be reimbursed though. That way I know I won't have a problem for next semester's tuition. Then there is New York. I'm probably going to be moving to New York City for the School of Visual Arts....if I get in anyways.
But back to the Orientation. I talked to some people. It felt really awkward and uncomfortable, but I promised myself I am going to try to become more social and see where it gets me.
I found that they have a few really cool student clubs: Art Club, Anime Club, and others. They have a Gay and Lesbian group, but I didn't request info on that. I think I still may check it out later on though. I've never had a gay friend. It might be nice.
In guild news, I wish that I could get more members in this place. I have so many topics that I want to discuss but with so few of us, they would never become that active.
If anyone knows anyone who would like to join this guild please have them do so. smile
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Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 10:34 pm
It's soooo late...or early right now. 1:30 am to be exact. There's a dog barking outside of my window and if it doesn't shut up soon I'm going over there and I'm going to let it loose.
I am so bored right now, but I think it's cause I'm just excited about school. I wish I could have taken maybe one more class but the school wants to charge me for some bonus liability insurance thing and I'm not having it.
There's this guy that works at this hair salon place. I walk past it multiple times a day and when he's not busy with a client he comes out to check me out as I walk by...or that's what I'm assuming. He could just want to say hi to me or something but who knows. He's interesting. He's a hair dresser but he's not all stereotypical when it comes to the hair dresser thing. But then is anyone really a stereotype?
Well yeah and I know a few who are...a few black people who are pretty much the incarnation of every negative black stereotype and to be honest they bug me but I won't talk about them now.
This guy isn't really my type. He's got this I think it's called frosted hair. He's got this incredibly dark hair but then his ends are blond...which is a major turn off. I haven't seen what shape he's in because I pretty much make sure I don't look at him that long. I can usually pick up an incredible amount of detail after just glancing at a guy but I just avoid it with this one for some reason.
He lives next door to me. He might be nice. I could try talking to him but to be honest I don't think I'd know what to say. Not that I'm crushing on him or anything, but I don't talk to guys. Any friend I've had in the past has been female. I have no idea what I would say to a guy. I don't know if I could talk to them about the stuff me and my brother talk about because we get into some pretty risque conversations about the most stupid things.
Me:O wow look at that dog
Little Brother:He's been licking his crotch for an hour
Me:That's probably why they got him, it probably turns his owners on
Little Brother: Yeah they probably record him while he's licking his crotch.
Me: Yeah and then they play the videos over while they're doin it.
That kind of stuff...we're both really stupid like that.
But speaking of my little brother I think he's keeping a secret from me. And I think it's about a girl he's seeing. I pray to god that he's not doing anything stupid though.
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Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 6:26 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:28 pm
Woot Woot! I had a blast last week and I'm still happy about it. I joined the African Students Organization. I wanted to go for a few reasons but I did NOT expect to meet any hot guys.
BUT I DID eek
I didn't talk to any but they seem like cool people.
I did meet this really down to earth girl who is I think a year younger than I am. She's a painter which is freaking awesome. She does these really cool like Afro inspired pieces. When I come into some money I'm going to buy one....but ofcourse I'm kind of broke now. lol
She's so SOOOO fly. I can tell we're going to be really good friends...so long as she doesn't mind the whole gay thing. Though I'm not "out" I'm not going to deny that I'm gay to anyone that I'm close with anymore. I guess I just got tired of doing it a few years ago.
I might even get up the nerve to talk to one of the guys. There was this extremely hot guy from Zimbabwe I think. He's absolutely my type physically. But I guess I don't know if he meets my other standards though being I haven't talked to him. With my luck chances are that he will meet my standards....but he'll be straight. neutral
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