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 Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 1:09 pm
This is a poem I just wrote, but I thought maybe it could be lyrics to a song..
Any ideas for titles and improvement?
But it wasn't Mother I found
lying in a circlet of daisies
drained of color, cold and broken
her limbs twisted, her head hanging.
That corpse, that echo,
an abandoned shell
delicate as snow,
an image from hell.
Her unsettling eyes;
empty rooms gawking at empty air
glazed from disuse,
Mother wasn't there.
That was merely a memory
forgotten ash, a paper doll:
Not Mother, not Mother at all.
The sun emanated extravagant beams
that day,
Lush green grass against the sapphire canvas,
that was the world-
a lovely Monet.
Such a beautiful day
to not find
a disfigured, empty Mother.
How unlike now
this sad place of ice and gray
just like the Mother
I didn't find
that Summer day.
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Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 6:51 am
This is creepy...I like it. :3
I love the part that goes: "That was merely a memory / forgotten ash, a paper doll: Not mother, not mother at all."
Some of the parts make the rhythm seem weird, but that's probably because this was originally a poem.
Anyway, I like it!
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 7:37 pm
Vote now for your favorite song!
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 8:28 pm
Thanks Music! x3
It was written in response to Robert Frost's "A Late Walk", and then I realized a lot of it rhymed..So I changed to lines around a bit to make a rhyming version and came up with this, and thought perhaps it could be a song. ^^
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 9:05 pm
Oooh, very good response-writing, then...I knew something seemed familiar. xD
Yeah, I think this could definitely become a song. ^_^
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