Welcome to Gaia! ::

Part 2
"What am I doing here?" Sasori asked himself.

"I don't know," you said. "You're the first one to end up in my closet. Oh! Excuse my bad hostess-skills, would you like something to eat, drink?"

Sasori's stomach growled. "I haven't eaten in so long..."


“Well, what would you like?” you said, heading towards the kitchen. Sasori followed you as you started listing off items. “Cookies, vegetables, chicken...”


You checked the clock while Sasori stayed silent; maybe food was overwhelming him.


“It’s five-thirty now, so I’ll just make dinner in a bit,” you suggested. Your guest nodded.


You pulled up a chair as you entered the family room. Sasori seemed a little uncomfortable at first, but soon enough, he sat down on the opposite sofa.


“So, what are you doing here?” you asked him.


He shrugged. “I don’t know. As I said before, I just sort of ended up here.”


“Yeah, but is this place,” your hands flapped wildly, “your heaven or something? It better not be hell!”


Sasori was quiet for a second. “I do remember, when I was first initiated, that Leader had us go through this sort of... ritual.” Sasori lifted up his leg to show you the heel of his right foot. “Does this emblem seem familiar to you in anyway?”


You studied it for a second, but soon enough you realized that it was Earth. It was too tiny to make out for sure, but you noticed the landscape pretty clearly.


“Yeah,” you nodded. “That’s a map of Earth – our planet.”


Sasori slowly let down his leg. “I’m not used to having... flesh.”


“I bet!” you laughed. “What’s with that? I thought you were supposed to be a puppet!”


Sasori shrugged. “As did I, but I guess that portal must have made it so I blend in easier. No puppet parts, no chakra.”


“And now I have to figure out what to do with you,” you said, pondering on the thought of why a character would suddenly pop out of nowhere and into your closet.


For the next hour, you fed him. And boy, was he hungry! He must have forgotten what real food tasted like; his stomach was like a vacuum, just sucking things in. You probably lost fifty dollars’ worth of groceries in one sitting.


You showed Sasori how to use the television so he wouldn’t be bored. You both agreed that he would stay at your house for the time being.


He was watching Sesame Street when you walked in after cleaning up from dinner.


“What is this?” he asked you.


“It’s a kid’s television show,” you explained. “It helps them learn and whatever.”


Sasori didn’t say anything.


He continued to watch it, though; you couldn’t help but watch it, too. It’s been so long since you’ve seen it.


Your thoughts strayed to what you wanted to say in the first place.


“Are you going to be okay on your own?” you asked after five minutes of silence.


“I should be,” said Sasori. He turned to you with a questioning look. “Why?”


“Because I’m not going to be here tomorrow,” you said. “Tomorrow’s Thursday, which means I have to go to school.”


“School?” he scoffed. “You haven’t graduated yet?”


“No,” you said. He gave an amused look. You quickly understood why he was silently demeaning you, and were trying to figure out how to explain.


“See, our schooling system goes from age five to eighteen,” you said. His amused look slowly faded. “We learn all sorts of different topics, from mathematics to sciences to history to anything we are interested in. Once we’re done with that, we can choose to go to college – a place to extend our education in a certain area. It usually has to deal with whatever career we want to pursue in.”


Sasori nodded. “That’s a little sad, if you ask me,” he said after a moment. “I became a chuunin at age eight, and it takes twelve years to graduate from the lower school?”


“It’s more complicated than that,” you said. “It goes Elementary school, usually until we’re twelve, middle school until we’re fourteen, and high school until we’re eighteen. Of course, the ages vary, depending on how well we do in school.”


“Your schools must have low standards,” said Sasori.


You sighed, giving up. “It’s way complicated. It’s just different from where you grew up.”


“You got that right,” said Sasori silently.


“I’m going to bed, then,” you said, standing up. “I’ll probably be gone before you wake up.”


“Okay,” said Sasori distractedly. His attention was now focused on Big Bird.


You went into your room, closing the door as silently as you could. Sighing, you wondered what was going to happen. You had to do something with Sasori. Your parents were going to be back Tuesday; how would you explain a thirty-five year old man sitting in your living room?


Actually, he didn’t look all that old. He was fifteen or so when he transformed himself into a puppet... Maybe he could pass off as an eighteen year-old. You could make up a fib about he was your friend’s cousin who got kicked out and needed a place to stay. Yeah, that’s the best you have so far...


You sighed again as you started to get into your pajamas.


--


BEEP BEEP BEEP


You lazily hit your alarm. Yawning, you quickly got out of your bed and did your morning business.


Once you were dressed, you headed into the living room. Sasori didn’t move; he was dead-asleep on the couch with the television on low volume. You showed him the room he could stay in, but he argued that he didn’t need sleep. He must have forgotten that he was no longer a puppet and stayed awake longer than he should have.


You smiled to yourself before reality hit you; you were going to miss the bus if you didn’t hurry up!


You were packed within ten minutes and left a post-it note by the fridge; Sasori was bound to see it.


With a final huff and a quick glance of Sasori, you were off to school.


--


School seemed to move by slower than ever. You wanted to go home and figure out this mystery Sasori bestowed upon you; darned school. And darned homework: you had at least two hours worth of it to do tonight with two tests tomorrow.


Finally, the last bell of the day rang and you were one of the first to board the bus.


“Antsy?” asked your best friend, Sarah, as she occupied the seat next to you. She lived right down the street from you; she, too, was a “Naruto” fan, just not as a big one as you were. She liked the Konoha ninja better than Akatsuki, which have led to a few interesting arguments...


“What do you mean?” you said, coming out of your slight daze.


“You were the first one out of the class,” Sarah explained as the wheels of the bus started. “You okay?”


“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” you lied. In actuality, you really wanted to see if Sasori burned the house down or not. “I just have a lot of homework to do tonight.” That part, at least, wasn’t a lie.


The bus ride even seemed to drag on; it took hours just to get to your bus stop.


“See you later,” Sarah said, waving at you goodbye.


“Yeah, you, too,” you smiled and turned to leave.


“Oh, wait!” your best friend called out. “We’re still on for tomorrow, right?”


Tomorrow, tomorrow... Oh, that’s right! You and Sarah were going to spend the night at your place with a movie marathon. Only problem: Sasori. What were you going to do with him? If you told Sarah that the Sasori was in your house this very second, she’d take you to the insane asylum ASAP. Yeah, better keep that as a secret.


“Uh – yeah, sure!” you said. Mentally, you were kicking yourself. Maybe you could just shove Sasori back into the closet and see what happens?


“Great!” she said. “Bye!”


“Bye,” you said quietly once she was already gone. You sighed and plodded home.


--


You came home and the place was an absolute, terrible, horrendous mess. There were articles of clothing on the ground, the television was turned onto the news, and the radio was blaring death metal. Potato chips laced the ground, so you had to be extra careful as you navigated your way around the pigsty.


“Sasori?!” you called out. He better not have just ditched you; what if he found a stash of money?


“Here,” he called out. You sighed, relieved.


“What are you doing here?” you asked, following the voice. Sasori was just sitting in the middle of the backyard.


“It’s quiet here,” said Sasori. “Everything inside was giving me a headache.”


“I’m going to have to show you how to turn off everything, then,” you said, mostly to yourself. “Come on in, I’ll make it quiet.”


You spend the next half-hour trying to explain modern technology to Sasori. He seemed to understand most of it – thank goodness he was a genius.


Before long, Sasori ended up watching Sesame Street again while criticizing the puppets’ movements. You were in your room working on homework.


Dinnertime rolled around, and you ate noodles with him. You decided this would be a good time to talk about what he was going to do.


“Sasori,” you started slowly. “You do know you can’t stay here forever, right?”


“I know,” he said. “Your parents are going to be home soon, and you don’t want to let them know that you let a stranger stay here.”


“Well, I don’t want to kick you out on the street, either,” you said. “I was thinking that we could say you’re my friend’s cousin or something that got kicked out of your own home and needed somewhere to stay. That way, you’ll get enough time to find a job and rent your own apartment.”


“A job,” reiterated Sasori slowly. “How do I get a job here?”


“Lots of places,” you said. “You could probably do very well in a workshop. We’ll look over the weekend, okay?”


“That sounds okay to me,” Sasori said glumly. “I guess I’m going to have to pay for the food and damages already done.”


You were about to say that those things weren’t a problem when the phone rang.


“Excuse me,” you said as politely yet urgently as possible. He only looked at the phone questioningly.


“Hello?” you answered, not even bothering to check the caller ID.


“Sweetie!” you instantly recognized to be your mother’s voice. “How’s everything going?”


“Great, just great Mom,” you said. “How’s the cruise?”


“Wonderful,” she said happily. “Well, just calling in to check in on you. Do you know how Tommy is doing?”


“I haven’t called him lately,” you admitted.


“Check on him,” your mother said sternly. “Just drop by his friend’s house later tonight and see what’s up. Can you do that for me?”


“Sure,” you said. “Hey, listen -” You were about to tell your Mom about Sasori when your Mom interrupted.


“Wow! Conga line! Sorry, sweetie, but I have to go! Love you!” CLICK. She hung up.


“What was that?” Sasori asked when you got back to the table.


“A telephone,” you said. “Basically, you communicate and talk to people through it. I’ll give you my number later so you can get in reach with me in case of an emergency.”


Sasori nodded.


--


The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. Sasori wound up going to bed before you did; he reckons the couch isn’t comfortable on the back after a while. You did show him the telephone; it took you ten minutes to explain why he shouldn’t call you unless there was an emergency. School just didn’t allow phones just in case people cheated.


The next morning, you followed your routine. You put another sticky note on the fridge, tossing out the old one. This time, you were sure to remember to tell him to turn the appliances off.


The day seemed to pass by at a normal pace. It was a Friday, so no big surprise there.


You got home and started to unwind. The place was clean – thanks to Sasori, of course. He spent most of the day tidying up since he had nothing better to do. You had restricted him to the confines of your property, just in case any of the neighbors recognized him.


You just leaned back on your couch when the doorbell rang. Puzzled, you got up to answer it.


“Sarah!” you exclaimed, surprised when you opened the door.


She held up a bag of chips and a movie. “Hey! You ready for me?”


“Y-yeah,” you stammered at first, but you quickly opened the door, unknowingly revealing Sasori to Sarah.


“Uh – hello,” said Sarah, looking beyond your shoulder.


You turned around. “Oh!” you exclaimed, trying to think of an explanation of why a stranger would be in your house. “Uh – Sarah, this is Sasori. Sasori, this is my best friend, Sarah. She’s spending the night.”


“Hi,” Sasori said simply.


“H-hello,” said Sarah with a slight blush on her cheeks. You smirked to yourself; Sarah obviously didn’t recognize him, but still thought he was good-looking. Now, was that good or bad?


“Oh, um, Sasori is the cousin of one my old friends,” you quickly explained. “His parents didn’t want a nineteen year-old staying at home without a job, so they kicked him out. He lived around here, and my friend called for a favor and now he’s staying here for the time being.”


Sasori nodded with a glazed look on his face. He was definitely thinking about something, but he continued your explanation. “I’m going to start looking for a job and once I earn enough money, I’m moving out.”


“Cool,” said Sarah. “Well, not cool that your parents are kicking you out, but cool how you’re going to get a job.” She laughed nervously.


“Want to take your bag to my room?” you offered Sarah, trying to rescue her from humiliation.


“Uh – yeah!” she said. She followed you silently to your room; Sasori just stood by the door watching you two.


“Damn, he’s hot,” Sarah whispered excitedly.


Crap. You couldn’t let Sarah fall for Sasori – what would Sarah think if she found out the truth?


“He’s nineteen, you know,” you said, hoping to give her reasons on why she shouldn’t go out with him. “It’s illegal if you two do... anything.”


Sarah feigned a shocked look. “I’m surprised you would even think that of me! But don’t worry; I’m still working on Alex.” Alex was her long-time crush of maybe... a year or two? Sarah’s been trying to become better friends with him, but he’s one of the more popular guys at school. There isn’t a moment when he’s not surrounded by his buddies.


“I’ll just leave Sasori for you,” Sarah teased. She put her bag by the bed. “You know, his name is funny.”


“Oh?” you said, wondering where she was going with this. Did she figure it out?


“Yeah, it’s just like that one guy from ‘Naruto,’ right? They even look alike,” said Sarah contemplatively.


“Don’t tell him I told you this, but...” you whispered and walked closer to Sarah to talk into her ear, “Sasori is one of the biggest fans of ‘Naruto’ you’ll ever meet. Sasori isn’t even his real name; he changed it legally a few months ago and died his hair like that. He practically overtook Sasori’s identity.”


“Huh,” said Sarah. “Good thing I’m not going after him, then, if he’s that much of a weirdo. Who gets obsessed that much?”


You shrugged; mentally, though, you were excited that she bought the lie. “Just don’t mention it to him, okay?”


“Yeah, sounds reasonable,” your friend laughed. “Ready for a movie?”



--

Part 3
Richard swiftly made his way through the office, covered in cubicles, workers, and coffee mugs. This was the place where he worked for the past nine years: Happy Cartoons. Yes, that was the cheesy name of his workplace. The people who built the company thought it was a slick undercover name for what they truly did. What did they truly do? Well…


Ever since cartoon characters died in their television shows, they’ve been appearing on Earth. They wind up almost anywhere: mountains, sewers, deserts, homes.


Some of the characters haven’t even been in television shows. Numerous times, comic book, manga, and picture book characters have been appearing, too. If they have been given a face, body, personality, and a ‘life,’ then they would, in simplest terms, live after death.


Happy Cartoons took the initiative to round the characters up, take them to a ‘safe place.’ Only a select few people knew where that was.


Richard didn’t know. He did know, however, that Happy Cartoons didn’t kill the characters, nor did they torture them. Richard, as well as a few colleagues, came to the conclusion that the characters merely stayed a ‘camp’ where they were tested and questioned. This is all apart of figuring out the sciences of comic books and animated television shows.


So far, scientists have discovered that cartoon characters receive a tattoo on the bottom of their foot when they are first created, but it’s usually hidden. Most characters say it’s a ritual from where they originate. No one knows why it’s done, it just is. Only recently have scientists gathered enough information that only a quarter of all characters make it to Earth. Other characters, who have different tattoos, arrive at different planets. At least, that’s what the scientists theorize. The tattoo that sends characters to Earth is the Earth itself. Only, the interval between their death and their arrival on Earth is sporadic, and never consistent. To solve the problem, scientists invented a machine that lets them see the amount of days when a character arrives.


“Sir, I have the address as well as pictures.” Richard set the document file on his boss’s desk.


His boss – whose father helped start the company – was an old man. Wrinkles, gray hair, shelves full of books. All signs of the typical “old, wise man.” He earned his employees respect several different ways. Sometimes, he would outsmart them; beat the sense into them; maybe even buy their respect. Whatever it took to get people to do as he says, he did.


“Very good,” he said. He flipped through the pages, checking the information it held. He paused briefly. “This doesn’t look like our target.”


“The girl had him get a haircut to fit in,” Richard explained. “But I have both of the before and after pictures, so you can be the judge if he’s the same person or not.”


“I see.” Richard’s boss usually stayed quiet when he was in deep thought. The senior glanced up at his younger employee. “When is the next one due?”

“His name is Kakuzu,” Richard said, thinking back in his memory. “He should arrive tomorrow, on Tuesday.”

The elder grunted. “See to it that you get information on him, too.”

*_*_*


BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.


Your alarm rudely awakened you on Tuesday morning, the day your parents are going to be due from their cruise. They shouldn’t be home until tonight, though, so you had time to clean up when you got back from school.


Sasori had been staying with you for a few days. So far, he had adjusted to your culture fairly well. He was a quick learner, and he had a television to watch.


You managed to find him a job interview down at the grocery store across your school. If things worked out well, he would earn enough money to rent his own apartment. That was the plan, anyway. What else were you going to do with a former-cartoon character? Sell him to the circus?


With a yawn, you got out of bed and headed to the shower.


Stepping out with nothing but a towel, you heard a thump from down the hallway. In your mind, this thump seemed more important right now than changing into your clothes. Sasori was asleep, you knew, and if something made a noise, then it might not be the safest thing to hold it off…


THUMP.


You didn’t realize what it was until it was too late. You heard this sound before – this exact same sound – only last week.


When Sasori first arrived.


Was another one here? Today? Of all days?


You inhaled a deep breath when you arrived at the same linen closet Sasori fell out of. You were about to reach for the handle when the door opened on its own.


This time, you didn’t scream. You knew it had to be another character. Only who? You raked your brain for any intimation of an answer.


Your eyes answered for your memory.


Out stepped a large, tall man with a deep tan. His black, somewhat greasy hair reached his shoulders. His eyes were green, but if you remembered right, the sclera of his eyes were red. Right now, they were white, just like ninety-percent of all humans.


He didn’t have stitches either, but, like Sasori, Kakuzu wore the same outfit he died in.


At least he has clothes, you thought. “Kakuzu?” you questioned him as he stared down at you.


“Yes. Where am I?” His voice was gruff and serious; you made a mental note not to mess with this guy.


“Earth. Hold on, I have someone you might know…” You dashed down the hallway and into Sasori’s room – the spare room of your house – and pushed Sasori side to side.


“Wake up!”


Sasori groaned and sleepily sat up. “What.” After the few days he stayed with you, you learned he wasn’t much of a morning person.


“Kakuzu’s here,” you informed.


Sasori grumbled again. “Why do you need me?”


“You can help me convince that Kakuzu is dead and is now a citizen of Earth,” you offer. “I don’t have the manga with him in it.”


Sasori looked you in the eyes, thinking. “Alright. Just give me a minute.”


With a nod, you started to head back to check on Kakuzu, but Sasori stopped you.


“Are you in your towel?”


You looked down, and you realized you were still in your towel. No clothes – just you with your drying hair and a damp towel. You cursed aloud and quickly ran to your room to change into your clothes.


You came back out to see Kakuzu looking around your house.


“What is this?” He picked up the telephone.


You sighed. Didn’t you just finish explaining everything to Sasori?


“That’s a phone. You call people and talk to them, wherever they are.”


Kakuzu put it back. “Why am I here?” His eyes narrowed. “The last thing I remember was fighting a couple of brats.”


“And that’s the last part of your life,” you said. Kakuzu’s expression didn’t change; he was expecting you to continue. With another sigh, you prepared a mini-monologue. “You died. You died in that fight with Kakashi and those other ninja. I don’t know why you ended up here, but Sasori’s coming out in a minute–”


“Sasori’s here?” questioned Kakuzu. You nodded.


“Now, I am,” said the now-brunette entering the room.


Kakuzu squinted his eyes disbelievingly. “I thought you had red hair.”


“I do. I had to get it dyed. In this world,” Sasori paused a moment to find the words to explain, “we belong in a comic book or television show. But, because we died there, we end up on this planet called Earth.”


Kakuzu nodded understandingly.


Suddenly, you remembered that it was still only Tuesday morning, and you had school to get to. “Crap!” you yelled aloud. Kakuzu looked at you questioningly as you ran down the hallway.


Kakuzu turned towards Sasori, who only sighed. “I’ll explain once she’s gone.”


*_*_*


You were so afraid that you would miss the bus that you forgot to say goodbye. You immediately assumed that Sasori would explain everything, which he would.


Now, you were on your way home to see the new stranger. You decided to walk slower than usual, just so you could have extra thinking time.


Deep in thought, you were quite surprised to feel a vibration coming from your pocket. You quickly reached for your phone and answered it before you could even see who was calling.


“Hello?”


“Hey, sweetie!” your Mom screamed in your ear. “Just wanted to let you know that we’re on solid ground and we’ll be home in three hours.”


“That’s great!” you faked enthusiasm. I only have three hours to get an excuse for Kakuzu... you thought. “Hey, Mom—”


“Swee… Gotta… Can’t… Hear…” your mother’s voice was breaking up. You mentally cursed to yourself. Of course she couldn’t hear you when you were about to tell her about Sasori! You just wanted her to not be surprised when she arrived home with your Dad.


The phone beeped, signaling that she had hung up.


You sighed frustratingly when Sarah caught up to you.


“Hey, ______!” she greeted with a smile. “What are you doing tonight? Aren’t your parents coming home?”


You nodded. “Yeah… Hey, can you do me a favor?” You smiled mischievously; Sarah wasn’t slow to catch on.


“Depends.”


*_*_*

“Okay, so Mom and Dad are going to be here any minute,” you told Sasori as he finished tidying up. “Kakuzu’s safe at Sarah’s house, and we just have to convince Mom and Dad that you only came here today. Got it?”


“I got it the first time you repeated the plan,” Sasori said calmly. You were about to say something when Sasori interrupted you. “Yes, I also know that Kakuzu’s pretending to be a homeless kid who needs a place to stay while he works. And he just so happened to save Sarah's life.You know, you’re extremely lucky Sarah’s parents bought that sob story. I know I wouldn’t have.”


“I would be extremely lucky if my parents bought your sob story. But that wasn’t what I was going to say.” You quickly put away the broom.


“Then, what?” Sasori leaned on the wall as you stepped out of the laundry room.


“Good luck,” you smiled. He smiled back.


KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK


“That must be them,” said Sasori. “Why don’t they just come in?”


“They don’t want to scare me,” you laughed, opening the door. There stood your parents and brother.


“We’re home!”

Part 5
“We’re home!” yelled your Mom as she ran to you with open arms. Only in her early forties, her eighties-inspired red hair and extremely soft wrinkles gave her the vibe of a fresh thirty year old. You hugged her back as she kept rambling, “We had such a great time! We found these darling – Hello, who’s this?”

You cringed in your Mom’s embrace as you felt her notice someone.

“Uh, Mom…” you backed away. You saw your father – a tall, middle-aged man with peppered hair and glasses with a serious attitude –staring at the stranger in interest.

Tommy only giggled to himself and his Mohawk. “______’s in trouble!”

“This is Sasori,” you quickly stated as you moved over to him. He lazily held up a hand to wave with a small smile. “His parents kicked him out a few weeks ago, and he has no job and no place to say. He has a job interview tomorrow at the grocery store.”

Your Mom was still inspecting him when your Dad sparked the questions.

“How old are you?”

Sasori’s answer was immediate; “Nineteen, sir.”

“How do you know ______?”

“My cousin and ______ are friends. My cousin moved away, and I had no money to go anywhere else. I only arrived today.”

Your Mom turned to you. “You couldn’t tell us beforehand?”

You stuttered slightly as you tried to explain yourself, “I tried, but the phone was breaking up!”

You Dad, not breaking eye-contact with Sasori,continued with another question, “How long do you plan on staying here?”

Sasori’s eyes lit up slightly as you felt your own do the same. That question basically gave Sasori permission to stay!

“As soon as I raise enough money for my own apartment, sir. A friend of mine knows a good place, but I have to pay upfront before I rent a room.”

Your Dad nodded – his sign of thinking intensely.

“Why don’t we talk about it tonight, dear?” your Mom suggested to your Dad.

“Actually,” your Dad said slowly, “I’m fine with him staying if you are. I trust ______ to bring home decent people.” He turned to your Mom. “Are you fine with it?”

She only shrugged. “I don’t see why not!”

You and Sasori exchanged a smile while Tommy pouted in the corner.

--

That night, you and Sasori shared some ice cream in the spare room – Sasori’s official current residence.

“I can’t believe it worked out so well!” you exclaimed, delighted in your devious plan. “Thank goodness my Dad is such an understanding person!”

Sasori nodded as he licked some ice cream off a spoon.

You took another bite, waiting for Sasori to say something. He didn’t.

“Are you okay?” you asked as you sprawled yourself over his bed, facing Sasori. He sat on the rocking chair your Mom had since you were a baby.

“I’m just thinking about this interview tomorrow,” Sasori explained. “I’ve never been to one.”

“Oh, psh,” you said. “I’ve never been to one, either, but as long as you’re relaxed, straight-forward, and polite, you’ll be a shoe-in. Don’t lie, look the interviewer in the eye, and hope for the best. If you don’t get the job, we’ll find you another one.”

Sasori nodded as he stared blankly into his bowl.

“You’ll do fine. You did great with my Dad when he asked you all those questions!”

“I did do extraordinary, didn’t I?” Sasori smirked.

You smiled back.

--

“I’m just so thankful you saved my little girl from choking!” Sarah’s mom, Gina, sobbed. “I don’t know where I would be without my little angel!” Gina grasped onto her only child as if the devil himself was there to take her away.

“It wasn’t a problem,” Kakuzu said awkwardly. “I’m just thankful you gave me a place to stay! I’ll pay you back once I can.”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” said Gina. “It’s the least we can do!”

Kakuzu smiled slightly, but as quickly as it appeared, it vanished. Kakuzu must not feel grateful for the fact that he won’t have to waste money, after all…

Sarah’s Dad, Stu, didn’t like the idea of a stranger staying around so much. Stu had no idea where the stranger came from, but Gina was persistent in letting Kakuzu stay. “We must be thankful!” His wife’s words floated in his mind. “If we don’t show our thanks, who knows how karma might treat us!”

Oh, his crazy ol’ wife. That was one of the reasons he loved her so much; she was just so free and spiritual – yet superstitious – and was just full of love to give. Stu, albeit ten years older than her at forty-six, was more of a stick in the mud. He knew it, too. He didn’t care. After all, the world had to have some discipline. If the world was more like Gina, then the world would also be more vulnerable, and, dare he say it… Stupid.

Stu secretly appreciated his stern personality and was wise enough to be balanced with a loving character. Although he doesn’t say such kind words a lot, he knows they are true.

“Thanks. Again,” Kakuzu shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

Sarah grunted in her position being hugged to death by the woman who gave birth to her. “I’m alive! You’re going to kill me!”

Gina let out a loud laugh. “That’s my Sarah!”

Stu grinned slightly.

Sarah stood up when Gina finally let go of her. “I have to go call ______. I, um, didn’t copy down tonight’s math assignment.”

“Okay,” said her mother sympathetically. “I’ll make your favorite dinner tonight!”

Sarah was nearly out the doorway of the living room when she remembered something. “Oh, Kakuzu, I’ll show you the spare room.”

The stranger nodded and followed Sarah. When they were out of sight, Gina smiled towards her husband.

“They seem to get along well,” said Gina.

“Maybe too well…” trailed off Stu’s voice. “Keep the door open!” he yelled after a second’s thought.

Both Gina and Sarah whined,

“Stu!”

“Dad!”

--

“Get a good night’s sleep,” you advised Sasori. He was still asking questions about an interview.

“When was the interview, again? What time?” Sasori questioned aloud.

“Twelve-thirty, sharp,” you recalled. “Don’t be late.”

Your phone vibrated in your pocket; you scrambled to get it out.

“Hello?”

“Hey, ______!” you recognized Sarah’s voice.

“Hey! What’s up?”

“I was hoping now would be a good time why a man named Kakuzu is in my house,” said Sarah. “First there was a Sasori, now a Kakuzu. Is there an anime convention in town or something?”

You paused a second. True, when you persuaded Sarah to do this little, teeny-tiny favor for you, you skipped a few details. You told her that you’re friend, who was twenty-five – when, really, he’s ninety-something – needed a place to stay, and it would seem a little too coincidental that you just so happened to have your own adult-friend staying with you. This plan wasn’t so suspicious.

You looked Sasori in the eye for an answer; of course you wouldn’t get one. How could you? Sasori had no idea what Sarah just said since you weren’t on speaker.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow,” you said finally. That should buy you enough time to decide if you should tell her the truth or not.

“Promise?” Sarah sighed.

“Promise.”

“Okay,” you could practically hear Sarah’s smile, “See you tomorrow.”

You hung up first.

“Everything okay?” asked Sasori.

“I just gotta tell Sarah what’s really happening…” you said softly, waiting for an intervention from Sasori. Apparently, he didn’t see anything wrong with the fact. You figured that you should definitely tell her.

“I’m going to bed. Good luck on the interview!” you called out as you left his room, taking both your ice cream bowls.

Sasori sighed as you closed the door behind you.

--

“Richard.” The said man’s boss’s voice through the speaker of the phone was dead-serious; Richard knew that tone. Something was up.

Currently, Richard sat outside the Elliott family’s house; a Mrs. Gina, Mr. Stu, and their only daughter named Sarah.

“Yes, sir?” questioned Richard back. Internally, Richard was anxious to hear what his boss was going to say, but his boss didn’t like meekness. No, being a passive person was for losers. A person – especially men, in the boss’s opinion – had to be confident and assertive, no excuses! Confident people got things done and got results; that’s all that matters in life: Results.

“Kakuzu should be here,” said his boss matter-of-factly. “Did you get the information?”

“Every detail available, sir,” Richard answered through the phone. “I’m parked outside the house as we speak.”

“Good,” said his boss. “Then you should know that the next character from the group will be here in a month.”

Richard grumbled to himself in his mind; a whole month? Really? He was not looking forward to this assignment. Richard never watched or read Naruto – to him, cartoons were for kids. The only reason Richard got into Happy Cartoons was because he was still in college and thought working for a cartoon company would be awesome, like he would never have to grow up! He started out as an assistant for a cartoon designer. He kept getting promoted,until, finally, he signed a contract sayingthat his job would be confidential from there on in.

That’s when Richard’s perspective changed. These cartoons were people – living, breathing people! Cartoons should be for kids, for entertainment! Even though Richard never said so aloud, he silently blamed this truth for corrupting his childhood memories, filled of the years sitting in front of the television, watching Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck trying to kill each other.

Richard’s happy-go-lucky attitude altered permanently. It wasn’t a surprise to his employers; they’ve seen the same case time after time. It was normal.

Richard, now forty and recently divorced – thanks to his newfound seriousness – knew his life was going nowhere. The only place to go was work. Richard soon grew to be the most trusted cartoon-investigator, even if he did hate his job slightly.

“Who is the next character?” Richard asked, half-distracted. The lights just went outside in the house; go figure, it was past eleven o’clock.

“Hidan.”

Part 7
Kakuzu had survived a month in your world, much to your surprise. You knew how old he was – ninety-three. You knew he would probably be stubborn with his ways and reject your culture and your customs. What you didn’t know, however, was the fact that Kakuzu was making an effort to blend in.

Luckily, Sarah’s mom absolutely adored Kakuzu. He was like a son she never had. Stu, Sarah’s dad, wasn’t so happy with him around; but, if Gina was happy, Stu was happy.

Sasori had adjusted for the most part as well. His job at the grocery store was working out well; no complaints thus far.

You were quite surprised that two months ago, you were just living normally. Wake up, go to school, come home, go to bed, repeat. That all changed when Sasori came. Now, it hasn’t been as boring.

In fact, life has been entertaining. You’ve learned things about your own culture that you never even thought twice about. Since you had to explain things to Sasori and Kakuzu, you had to repeat what you’ve been learning subconsciously your whole life.

What surprised you most was the fact that Hidan hasn’t arrived yet.

“Do you think he was sent somewhere else?” you pondered aloud during breakfast with Sasori. A sunny Saturday morning and your parents had to take Tommy to a soccer game. The house belonged to you and Sasori for now.

“Who? Hidan?” Sasori lazily stirred his spoon in his coffee.

“Yeah. I mean, don’t you think he would have arrived by now?” You took a bite from your crispy toast.

“He’ll come when he comes. Plain and simple.”

You sighed frustratingly when a knock came at the door. You wondered if Sasori would get it; he’s actually done it so many times. Your family have already accepted him as a member of the residence; he does his chores and acts as if he lives here.

When Sasori didn’t make any movements, you left the table to see who was bothering your house at such an hour.

“Kakuzu!” your mood had changed when you realized who was there. A towering Kakuzu stood just outside the door; his hair had grown out quite a bit, and you were planning on taking him back to Ms. Cooplan’s.

“What’s up?” you invited him in. “Why isn’t Sarah with you?” Sarah had been most nervous about having real-life Akatsuki members walking about; she would always keep a watchful eye out for Kakuzu and Sasori so they wouldn’t do anything wrong or get into trouble.

“Still asleep,” Kakuzu answered nonchalantly. “Is that bacon?”

“Help yourself,” you offered.

“Don’t mind if I do—”

THUMP.

“Oh, my God,” you whispered. You knew this sound all too well; it came when Sasori entered this world, and it came when Kakuzu entered this world. Was he finally here?

THUMP.

“What was that?” questioned Sasori.

THUMP.

That’s more than what there used to be, you thought. You looked at Kakuzu and Sasori as they stared intently at you.

THUMP.

Without a word, you ran to the linen closet and ripped open the door. There, you saw a familiar silver-head man…

But he wasn’t alone.

*_*_*

s**t, thought Richard as he drove down the highway. Why today? And why didn’t Happy Cartoons not get the signal until an hour ago? Why the hell did two have to arrive today!?

After deciding not going to his son’s birthday party, his ex-wife had become even colder and distant. Richard was a pro at screwing people over – shame he never intended to do so. All he wanted was peace. No cartoons, no disruptions; but it was his duty to get rid of the troublesome cartoons that lived after death.

Minutes ago, Richard’s boss called to inform him of Deidara who is supposed to arrive today after Hidan. Problem is, the report was so immediate and out-of-the-blue, no one knew when Hidan or Deidara were coming. All they knew was that they were coming today, so Richard had to make a move it to get to ______’s house. That damned, possessed house with two cartoons already arriving there.

The good side, Richard knew, was that they only expected one more character to arrive at the household; Itachi. That shouldn’t be too long now. Then, finally, Richard could make his move and dispose of the cartoons and have them taken away far, far away.

He just had to get to Hidan and Deidara.

*_*_*

“…Un,” groaned the blond on top of Hidan. His hair – which was normally up – hung loosely. Hidan was face-down and already started a cursing fit.

“What the f*ckin’ hell! I’ll get that little dipshit! Oh, that b*****d…” You could only guess that he was talking about Shikamaru.

“Hidan.” Kakuzu stood right behind you and managed to grab Hidan’s attention. “Shut up.”

“F*ck you,” Hidan stood up, not even bothering Deidara. The blond just fell back.

You stepped out of Hidan’s way. “Welcome to Earth,” you greeted.

“Where the hell am I?” Hidan didn’t bother with politeness – he just stepped out and took a gander.

“Long time no see, Sasori, un,” said Deidara as he followed Hidan. “I thought you were dead? Wait – am I dead, un, seeing as Kakuzu and Hidan are dead, too?”

“You’re dead,” you answered for Sasori. “For some reason, whenever you guys die, you end up here.”

“And where the f*ck is ‘here’?”

You sighed as you prepared yourself for another lengthy explanation.