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 Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 4:43 pm
So I'm resurrecting an old favorite of mine, since I'm lucky enough to have a post or two from it. This is a very casual, joke roleplay. Post once, or regularly, have a plot, or completely defy logic, godmod, ignore setting, and be the best worst roleplayer you can be!
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 4:45 pm
Meikotakuwasabi-chan Vampyre Lightning Evanessance exploded with sexy. This was, of course, because she was so damn sexy. But being a half vampyre, she immediately regenerated, looking slightly more sexy than before. Then, out of nowhere, a very stinky and ugly man with an eyepatch grabbed her and screamed "RAPE!" and tried to rape her, but a football player came out of nowhere and saved her then patted her on the head before running away, like some sort of gay Cinderalla.
She sniffed. “Being sexy is hard work,” she said out loud in a high pitched voice. “This happens all the time!” continued in a whining voice, and stomped her sexy feet and wishing she wasn’t cursed with being so damn sexy. Because she was sexy.
“Time to get dressed! KAWAII!”
She opened her skull and crossbones suitcase and looked inside, her clothes positively glowing and sparkling. “Gosh, I wish my parents would buy me something that isn’t so revealing so I don’t have to go around striking sexy poses then exploding from sexiness. Because that’s no fun!”
She put on a skintight leather miniskirt and it had blood dripping from it because she was a vampyre then she put on a bloodred tank top that glowed because it was magic and it had a picture of a pink smiling unicorn on it then she put on fishnet stockings on her arms too because she was gothic and not a prep and she didn’t shop at Hot Topic because she was too sexy and she’d just get chased there then she put on her huge black boots with metal tips and spikes because she loved her boots.
“Oh! I’ve forgotten my revealing lacy pink panties.”
Meikotakuwasabi-chan Vampyre Lightning Evanessance pouted, stomped, threw something at a passing boy, then started crying for no apparent reason so the boy would hear her.
"My parents were raped and murdered by orcs when I was little and now they never buy me any clothes and they beat me and starve me which is why I'm so skinny and sexy!" The boy immediately became smitten and protective of her and walked over to make sweet love to her but she beat him to death with her shoe and started getting dressed again.
She put on a pair of glowing pink lacy panties that were also dripping blood because she was a vampyre then she put on a skintight leather miniskirt and it had blood dripping from it because she was a vampyre then she put on a bloodred tank top that glowed because it was magic and it had a picture of a pink smiling unicorn on it then she put on fishnet stockings on her arms too because she was gothic and not a prep and she didn’t shop at Hot Topic because she was too sexy and she’d just get chased there then she put on her huge black boots with metal tips and spikes because she loved her boots. Oh, and then she put on a magical medallion that had been passed down her family that had her family’s crest from her great-great-great-great-great-notsogreat-great grandfather Edward Cullen which was fangs and a kawaii face that had dripping blood. She wasn’t sure how that worked but it did. Then she wondered where she was, since the setting was completely irrelevant to her sexiness. Nevertheless, she was bored, so she grew massive pink feathery wings that sparkled and whistled to call her magic pink unicorn pal named Sparkles with wings. She hopped on it’s back and flew off, searching for someone to annoy the freaking hell out of.
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:15 pm
Stephano Andrews Moonlight the Third was probably one of the loneliest British-exchange ninjas out there. The only things that ever seemed to keep him company were the thousands of corpses that he had personally slain. And there would not even be corpses if his father stopped sending the assassins after him. Perhaps his mafia leading father would forgive him for sleeping with his mother, and then killing her… and sleeping with her again one of these days, but until then more assassins would always come.
He was not lonely because of the way he looked. In fact he was above average in the looks department. He often modeled when he was not busy killing. His wavy charcoal hair and oddly ruby eyes were all over the magazines. He was known as the fallen angel of the runway. Of course, anybody who could pull off leather as good as him would be called that too. He was lonely because he was too strong.
When he was only two he had managed to find and somehow master using kunai without any help. Now there was nobody who could match his flying crimson lotus explosion technique that he had invented. He was told he looked just like a death god as he flew through the sky slaughtering anybody who stood in his way. This frightened away everybody he had ever cared about. That was why he was always so sad and lonely.
He was just finishing watching the last of the assassin’s bodies dissolve into a bloody boiling pool- after all who wants to deal with such a messy cleaning up?- when his top of the line, not even released in Japan, cellphone/laptop/microwave/gun started ringing. ”’Ello?” he said in a soft velvety tone while speaking into micowave/cellphone. A dark and mysterious voice spoke to him, ”If you ever want to see your father again you will do what we say!” Stephano gasped. Those Bastards! After a moment he calmly spoke into the phone, ”What is it that you want?”
After the voice told him the demands Stephano crushed his cellphone/gun in his hands leaving the piece of technology in thousands of tiny pieces.
He ditched school, jumped onto his invisible jet-that he piloted himself- and made it to the magical mountainside, where only masters could venture. After a five-minute trek he had passed every single one of the mountain’s challenges without even breaking a sweat. But that did not prevent him from taking off his shirt anyway. His chest was rippling with muscles that would even catch the eyes of the most loyal of girlfriends and wives. He had beat them off with a broom to keep them from tackling him to the ground whenever he was in public.
At last he came to his goal he had finally found the magical Flaming Zanpakuto of Dark Innocence! He stared at the blade with admiration. It could destroy half the world in one strike… While still sheathed! With this sword he could control the world as the most powerful ninja swordsman ever, but with all that great power came terrible consequences. The sword would slowly bring out the darkness out of the user. It could even turn the cutest of bunnies into psychopathic balls of evil fur. Would he be willing to take on such a responsibility, then hand over the sword in exchange for his father? There was only one way to find out! He took the sword and headed off to kick some dadnapper butt!
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:19 pm
 Asaki Angelica played basketball with her friends behind her highschool. It was sooooo tough not to show off her guardian angel powers in front of Eric Von Hellsing, who was her best friend who she had loved since forever, and who she was conveniently supposed to be guarding but had no idea that she was actually not her parents children, but switched at birth for Gabriella, the archangel of awesomeness and cuteness. When she was thirteen, her father- God- sent a super-sexy vampire to tell her about her awesomeness, and gave her the family crest- a magical pendant with cute angel wings and a gold chain, which Asaki wore all the time, because it was super cute and Asaki was super cute and so the two matched and so she wore it while she was playing basketball behind her high school with Eric, her best friend and the man she loved and the guy she was supposed to be guarding according to Daddy-God and the super sexy vampire named Edward who was like, totally in love with her but who no one else could see because he was magical and she had the second sight but she kept turning him down really cutely because she was totally in love with Eric, but Eric was the most popular guy in school and all the girls loved him and ahted her because she wasn't a prep and she was tougher than the boys and still super-cute and everyone could tell that Eric was in love with her, but of course Asaki couldn't tell because she was too cute to know things like this.
But anyways, she was playing basketball with Eric and looking super cute in a punk-a** basketball jersey that her vampire "friend" Edward had bought for her but cost like a million dollars but Edward was super loaded so it didn't matter how much money it cost because he was always buying her things.
Asaki slam-dunked the basketball into the hoop, and she smiled down at Eric, but Eric was looking super-shocked up at her. See, she didn't even notice that she was still up in the air! She was flying without realizing that she had grown bright white feathery, super-cute wings. Eric was staring up at her and then Edward jumped out of the bushes.
"He's seen too much!" Shouted Edward as he sparkled in the sunlight. He looked super hot. All the girls could see and were super jealous that Edward was obviously in love with Asaki.
"No, Edward! Don't!" Shouted Asaki, still hovering in the air and looking super-cute as she did it. Her cute brown hair billowed in the breeze that always picked up when she was upset. See, Asaki was a wind-angel, and so the wind around her always followed her mood. If she wasn't happy, tornadoes and stuff started but she was always happy so it didn't matter.
Eric was still staring at her wings, and so Asaki stopped time, flew Edward home, and returned to Eric because she could also stop time.
"Sorry that took sooooooo long, Eric." She said, pouting her lip cutely, her giant brown eyes blinking childishly up at him. she was really short and Eric was really tall, so they looked super-cute together.
"I love you, Asaki," Said Eric, "and now that I know you're an angel, we can never be together!" Then Eric unfurled his own wings, which were black feathers, and his blond hair fell over his face and the sky darkened and he kissed her passionately and when he pulled away, she could see that he was a demon. It didn't matter that he was supposed to be a human she was protecting, because even God made mistakes and it was super cute anyways.
But then Satan came out of the ground and pulled Eric back with him.
"Nooo! Eric!" She called, but he was already swallowed up.
DUM DUM DUMM!!!!!
TO BE CONTINUEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:15 pm
Hikari Yume Rikotsu Ebony pushed a girl onto the ground. "Hohohoho!" she laughed evilly. She was the meanest and nastiest and meanest girl on the block. But deep down inside she was super sad and super depressed. She hated herself soooo much that she wanted everyone else to be miserable too! But what she really wanted was someone to get close to her even though she pushed everyone away. She wanted someone to see past her rough and scary and mean outside to the nice and sweet and caring and nice person on the inside. And what she really wanted was someone to notice her and be nice to her that's why she was so mean to everyone because she wanted attention from everyone. Even though she was a super meanie she was still super pretty. She had huge boobies and a butt that made all the girls jealous and a body that all girls would kill and die for. She had a natural grace and even when she was punching/pushing/beating/hitting people she was still beautiful. She never got hurt herself even though she was hurting on the inside and never got dirty. She was always super clean and beautiful even though her soul hurt so so much on the inside.
Anywho, on a day when Hikari was hurting in her soul more than usual, and a beautiful fairy came to her in a pink puff of smoke and sparkles and pretty music. "You must leave your little town." the cute pretty fairy lady said. "It...is...time..." and then she disappeared in a pink puff of smoke and sparkles and pretty music. Of course no one noticed 'cause the pretty fairy lady had only been visible to Hikari because Hikari was special and it was her destiny to see weird things like that.
"What the crap did she mean by that?!" Hikari shouted in her musical voice that all girls would also die for. But suddenly, she felt herself being pulled towards a house that had a super hot guy in it. She really wanted this super hot guy to notice her the most 'cause then it would be like tv and they would be super cute together and live happily ever after as the girl who was a big meanie head and the boy who saw past her mean outside and into her nice inside. She was inside and saw the super hottie eating another person. GASP! He had huge black demon wings and cute horns on his head and blood red eyes and blood went down his face and his claws dripped with blood and he was standing in a pool of blood holding the messed up body of a girl.
Oh no! she thought. I don't want to die! I'm too sad and pitiful to die. I haven't finished silently crying out desperately for help yet! She turned to run out the door with lightning fast speed that she had suddenly gained and cute little angel wings that sprouted from her ankles but the demon was faster. He got in front of her and smiled a super creepy and super scary blood dripping smile with blood dripping from his super sharp teeth and crazy forked tongue that also dripped. . .with blood.
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