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Tags: Writers, Poetry, Short-Stories, Writing, Creativity 

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Perfection

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shnarf9892

PostPosted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 7:15 am


Perfection

June 3, 2028. Today was the day. She had been waiting for this since the procedure was legalized. Everyone was getting it done, and they all looked fantastic. They were perfect. Her parents had the money to pay for it too, so there were no worries. Mommy and Daddy would take care of the expenses, just like always.

Finally, she would get noticed.

She drove to the hospital in her fancy 2028 Camaro (that her daddy bought her) as soon as the last day of school got out. They were expecting her. They prepped her for surgery and she had to listen again as the doctors explained what all the procedure involved. She had heard it already; did she really have to hear it one more time? Facial reconstruction, liposuction, teeth straightening, clearer skin, faster metabolism, bone renovations, breast implants, everything. She wanted it all. Perfection. Yes, she was sure this is what she wanted, yes, she was willing to spend the next month in recovery, yes, she would be able to pay for this. Could they just get on with it please?

Finally, after what seemed like ages of answering questions the doctors already knew the answers to, they wheeled her hospital bed into the operating room. She smiled. When she woke up, she would be a whole different person. No more dull, mousy hair. No more muddy eyes. No more hook nose. No more being an outcast. The fancy things Daddy bought her were cool, but they didn’t get her noticed in the student body. This would. At last, she would get the attention she longed for. She would finally be perfect.

*********

The next school year was…not what she had hoped for. They had fawned over her at first sight of the changes, but the hype was short lived. So many other students had gotten the procedure too. After about three days, things went back to how they always were. She went back to being the quiet girl in the back row, not smart enough to get academic recognition, and too smart to get in trouble all the time. Once again, she was a nobody, nothing, much like the floral wallpaper in cheap motels. On the outside, she was gorgeous, flawless, perfect. Inside, she still felt like the girl she was before: acne-prone skin, mousy brown hair, ugly. Unwanted. Unloved. Daddy noticed the change and bought her more fancy stuff, but the new gizmos didn't fill the void. Mommy actually tried to be a Mom and sat down to talk with her, but it was hollow, fake, just like the girl‘s new exterior appearance. Mommy didn’t know how to help, so she eventually just stopped trying. They were so wrapped up in their fancy-schmancy stuff that they really didn’t care. It was pointless for them to continue.

It was pointless for her to continue.

*********

June 3, 2029. Mommy walked up the grandiose oak staircase into her daughter’s plush room to find that her perfect daughter had put a gun to her perfect temple and blew her perfect brains out all over the bed. The suicide note simply read, “They could only fix the outside.”
PostPosted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:16 pm


What a wonderfully horrible story! Nobody should be that obsessed about getting accepted, about being perfect... *sigh* The things people do... It's so sad... sad

DreamingRoses1224
Crew


Argus Plexus

PostPosted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 10:34 am


Very well written. Lots of thought put into the idea, I can tell. Good style. The point is conveyed very easily.

This sounds a bit like ABNW but written from a modern standpoint. Five of five from me.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 8:21 pm


Beauty after all, only goes skin deep...  

Shallarinath
Captain


Alanora Calaran

PostPosted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 10:44 pm


Bravo.
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The Chamber of Lore

 
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