There's no such thing as "mastering the art of dating &/or flirting". No matter how much you know, there's always more to know!
The greatest & most common concerns people have -- from puberty to dementia -- are related to boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses/fiancees/any sort of "lovers"... whether it be finding a significant other, a current relationship with a significant other, or losing a significant other... such "significant-other-related" issues are more common than any other issues. & advice about dating, flirting, & things of that nature is by far the most commonly desired advice. Perhaps research backs these claims up, perhaps it doesn't... I wouldn't be suprised if studies have never been conducted on how prominent dating & relationship issues are, because if they're not the most common issues people have, then, tell me, what the hell is?
... So, Dr. Kayla's here to provide you with a plethora of totally valid bits of advice & must-know info involving a) existent relationships, and b) flirting, casual dating, & other general important info for anybody looking for love to read & remember.
Share your advice pertaining to relationships, dates, hookups, love, etc. so others can learn & benefit from your knowledge! You're also invited to share any personal stories of failed relationships, or relationship successes! Don't worry, we won't judge you!
- - Pieces of Advice, etc. for Ongoing Relationships
If your partner has a bad day, don’t try to fix it, & definitely don’t try to “reason with them”. Just try to listen with your full attention. Let them vent!
Make sure you keep your own friends, interests, & activities… No matter how close you & your significant other are, maintaining your own life is crucial to a healthy relationship
Even if it isn’t your favourite item in the closet, once a week or so where what he/she likes to see you in.
Not excited about an upcoming event? If it’s important to your significant other, being upbeat is the best thing.
Even if you’ve been together for a while, it’s great to have someone tell you that they love hearing your voice.
Bothered by your significant other’s lack of style & fashion sense when it comes to clothes? The best way to help him dress better is to compliment what outfits work; don’t criticize their “fashion faux pas”.
The secret to giving good gifts is listening closely during normal conversations; you’ll pick up good clues about your lover’s wishes [& not only when it comes to gift-wrapped items! wink ]
Don’t be too shy to ask for “feedback” about your, you know… performance in the “physical affection” area wink Be brave! It’ll strengthen your bond! … Besides, men love a woman who knows what she wants “in the bedroom”, &, guys: women aren’t as repulsed by such conversations as you seem to think!
“The Four A’s of a Healthy Relationship”: Attention, appreciation, attitude, & affection.
Even if you’re crazy about eachother, give the relationship time to simmer and don’t rush things.
If you find yourself giving unsolicited advice to your partner, it may suggest you don’t see them as an equal,
Little good comes from either of you knowing each other’s password’s to anything online. Resist the temptation!
- - Pieces of Advice, etc. for Flirting, Dating, being uber-Appealing, & all that fun stuff
Studies show both men & women find slow, deep speaking voices attractive.
People find it hard to resist someone with a genuine smile who’s a good listener.
Don’t waste time on people whose actions don’t match their words.
Good posture makes you look appealing & confident.
The key to flirting is to have fun with it, & not care too much about the outcome.
Mind your manners with waitstaff during dates. Rudeness is a huge turn-off.
Be specific when asking someone on a date so he or she will know what to wear.
First date topics to avoid like the bubonic plague: Past relationships, health history, ideas on marriage, politics.
Don’t wear the colour yellow on dates. Researchers say both men and women find it repellent. [Come on, don’t tell me that actually suprises you]
Want to get noticed? Position yourself right in the center of the room.
You only have three seconds to make a good first impression, so dress to impress!
Flirting should happen mostly with body language, not with words..
Too many compliments or trying too hard to be nice makes you seem desperate.
Learn to accept compliments gracefully as well as give them.
Dressing appropriately for your age makes you more attractive.
The “three C’s of flirting”: be cool, confident, & charming.
Good flirts always display a sense of curiosity about other people.
If you sense good chemistry, don’t be afraid to make the first move. Your date will likely be relieved you did!
To make your intentions clear when flirting, give at least three verbal or non-verbal clues.
Show up on time. It shows that you’re responsible & trustworthy, as well as displays respect for yourself & your date.
Don’t know how to get a conversation started? Wear or bring something that gives people a reason or excuse to talk to you. For example, a band tee-shirt!
Good flirts are outward-focused. You can’t flirt effectively if you’re self-absorbed. Talking about yourself may be your favourite topic of conversation, but, as Dostoevsky noted, “everybody’s favourite thing to talk about is themselves”.
Remember, what you say is often less important than how you say it.
Don’t try too hard to match someone’s likes or dislikes. Express your own opinions. People rarely want to date a clone of themselves.
There’s nothing wrong with giving someone a second chance, but don’t be so eager to give a third of forth.
Think twice about trusting anyone with intimate photos or videos of you!
You can’t force closure after a split. Closure only comes with time.
Stop waiting for “the best” and try to be open to the idea of the “good enough”.
You can find a date anywhere – waiting in line or walking your dog. Just be open.
Signs that somebody’s listening well: appropriate nods, smiles, leaning forward.
Scared of rejection? Ask yourself this – is living with uncertainty any better?
Signs someone’s flirting with you: Eye contact, laughing, casual touching.
- - Cont.! (Added Jan. 30, '09)
-- The two most important rules of dating: 1) Get out & meet people, 2) make safety a priority.
-- Three to six months is generally enough time to determine if someone's a "keeper".
-- Smiling at & talking to everyone you meet is great practice for flirting.
-- It's okay to brag about your partner -- especially in front of them! It shows that you're truly proud of them.
-- Surrounding yourself with attractive members of the opposite sex makes YOU seem more desirable.
-- Be forewarned! Sociologists say a passionate first romance can make later relationships more difficult.
-- Leave your partner a hint of your perfume or cologne somewhere to remind them of the fun you have together wink
-- A new survery shows that 50& of young singles have dated a colleague; 70% say it was a bad idea.
-- Studies show that touching someone's arm when first approaching increases likelihood of connecting,
-- Be aware of what you do that makes your partner most happy, & repeat it as often as possible.
-- Relax your standards a little. You're more likely to catch a good fish with a wider net! (Not that you'd want to date a fish or anything.)
The greatest & most common concerns people have -- from puberty to dementia -- are related to boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses/fiancees/any sort of "lovers"... whether it be finding a significant other, a current relationship with a significant other, or losing a significant other... such "significant-other-related" issues are more common than any other issues. & advice about dating, flirting, & things of that nature is by far the most commonly desired advice. Perhaps research backs these claims up, perhaps it doesn't... I wouldn't be suprised if studies have never been conducted on how prominent dating & relationship issues are, because if they're not the most common issues people have, then, tell me, what the hell is?
... So, Dr. Kayla's here to provide you with a plethora of totally valid bits of advice & must-know info involving a) existent relationships, and b) flirting, casual dating, & other general important info for anybody looking for love to read & remember.
Share your advice pertaining to relationships, dates, hookups, love, etc. so others can learn & benefit from your knowledge! You're also invited to share any personal stories of failed relationships, or relationship successes! Don't worry, we won't judge you!
- - Pieces of Advice, etc. for Ongoing Relationships
If your partner has a bad day, don’t try to fix it, & definitely don’t try to “reason with them”. Just try to listen with your full attention. Let them vent!
Make sure you keep your own friends, interests, & activities… No matter how close you & your significant other are, maintaining your own life is crucial to a healthy relationship
Even if it isn’t your favourite item in the closet, once a week or so where what he/she likes to see you in.
Not excited about an upcoming event? If it’s important to your significant other, being upbeat is the best thing.
Even if you’ve been together for a while, it’s great to have someone tell you that they love hearing your voice.
Bothered by your significant other’s lack of style & fashion sense when it comes to clothes? The best way to help him dress better is to compliment what outfits work; don’t criticize their “fashion faux pas”.
The secret to giving good gifts is listening closely during normal conversations; you’ll pick up good clues about your lover’s wishes [& not only when it comes to gift-wrapped items! wink ]
Don’t be too shy to ask for “feedback” about your, you know… performance in the “physical affection” area wink Be brave! It’ll strengthen your bond! … Besides, men love a woman who knows what she wants “in the bedroom”, &, guys: women aren’t as repulsed by such conversations as you seem to think!
“The Four A’s of a Healthy Relationship”: Attention, appreciation, attitude, & affection.
Even if you’re crazy about eachother, give the relationship time to simmer and don’t rush things.
If you find yourself giving unsolicited advice to your partner, it may suggest you don’t see them as an equal,
Little good comes from either of you knowing each other’s password’s to anything online. Resist the temptation!
- - Pieces of Advice, etc. for Flirting, Dating, being uber-Appealing, & all that fun stuff
Studies show both men & women find slow, deep speaking voices attractive.
People find it hard to resist someone with a genuine smile who’s a good listener.
Don’t waste time on people whose actions don’t match their words.
Good posture makes you look appealing & confident.
The key to flirting is to have fun with it, & not care too much about the outcome.
Mind your manners with waitstaff during dates. Rudeness is a huge turn-off.
Be specific when asking someone on a date so he or she will know what to wear.
First date topics to avoid like the bubonic plague: Past relationships, health history, ideas on marriage, politics.
Don’t wear the colour yellow on dates. Researchers say both men and women find it repellent. [Come on, don’t tell me that actually suprises you]
Want to get noticed? Position yourself right in the center of the room.
You only have three seconds to make a good first impression, so dress to impress!
Flirting should happen mostly with body language, not with words..
Too many compliments or trying too hard to be nice makes you seem desperate.
Learn to accept compliments gracefully as well as give them.
Dressing appropriately for your age makes you more attractive.
The “three C’s of flirting”: be cool, confident, & charming.
Good flirts always display a sense of curiosity about other people.
If you sense good chemistry, don’t be afraid to make the first move. Your date will likely be relieved you did!
To make your intentions clear when flirting, give at least three verbal or non-verbal clues.
Show up on time. It shows that you’re responsible & trustworthy, as well as displays respect for yourself & your date.
Don’t know how to get a conversation started? Wear or bring something that gives people a reason or excuse to talk to you. For example, a band tee-shirt!
Good flirts are outward-focused. You can’t flirt effectively if you’re self-absorbed. Talking about yourself may be your favourite topic of conversation, but, as Dostoevsky noted, “everybody’s favourite thing to talk about is themselves”.
Remember, what you say is often less important than how you say it.
Don’t try too hard to match someone’s likes or dislikes. Express your own opinions. People rarely want to date a clone of themselves.
There’s nothing wrong with giving someone a second chance, but don’t be so eager to give a third of forth.
Think twice about trusting anyone with intimate photos or videos of you!
You can’t force closure after a split. Closure only comes with time.
Stop waiting for “the best” and try to be open to the idea of the “good enough”.
You can find a date anywhere – waiting in line or walking your dog. Just be open.
Signs that somebody’s listening well: appropriate nods, smiles, leaning forward.
Scared of rejection? Ask yourself this – is living with uncertainty any better?
Signs someone’s flirting with you: Eye contact, laughing, casual touching.
- - Cont.! (Added Jan. 30, '09)
-- The two most important rules of dating: 1) Get out & meet people, 2) make safety a priority.
-- Three to six months is generally enough time to determine if someone's a "keeper".
-- Smiling at & talking to everyone you meet is great practice for flirting.
-- It's okay to brag about your partner -- especially in front of them! It shows that you're truly proud of them.
-- Surrounding yourself with attractive members of the opposite sex makes YOU seem more desirable.
-- Be forewarned! Sociologists say a passionate first romance can make later relationships more difficult.
-- Leave your partner a hint of your perfume or cologne somewhere to remind them of the fun you have together wink
-- A new survery shows that 50& of young singles have dated a colleague; 70% say it was a bad idea.
-- Studies show that touching someone's arm when first approaching increases likelihood of connecting,
-- Be aware of what you do that makes your partner most happy, & repeat it as often as possible.
-- Relax your standards a little. You're more likely to catch a good fish with a wider net! (Not that you'd want to date a fish or anything.)
