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Who am I? I am ugly. No one knows who I am. It was long ago I forgot my true name. It seems everyone knows me as “Ugly” so that is simply what I am. No one sits with me, I don’t fit in. But, they think they do when they make fun of me. They would never consider that I go home and think suicide.

Each day I go on, is a time I feel brave. The pain often overflows into my knife though. I write on my arms, to scared to actually end my life. Do they think it doesn’t hurt? Or do they simply not care? Either way, it doesn’t seem to be ending any time soon.

I’ve over heard my counselors. Apparently I’ve gone beyond hope. What hope? I never had it. I feel the pain suffocating me; the only way to make this disappear is through my knife. So the scars on my wrists are only deadly reminders that the suffocating will be back. What do I have without the pain though? Nothing. Empty. I’m numb.

The Earth is the coldest planet though it’s only 2 planets away from the sun. Why? Humans roam it.

Is there even anyone in the mirror anymore? I don’t think so. I wonder if screaming would help at all? I doubt it.

Tears are gone; it’s been to many years of crying. I am dry. A desert with no oasis.

So what is the point of my pathetic life? Nothing you see. Well.. Maybe one thing. I’m there for others to pent frustrations on. A doll, that everyone pokes with needles.

Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will kill my soul.

The day has come they are back. The ones that started my torment. Now that the leaders are back, the teasing words, become daggers to my heart once more. I go home, gasping for breath as I pull out my father’s pistol. Is this really the answer? Who knows? At least I can say one thing. No one makes it out of life alive anyways. Why do I have to?

Click, click a noise made by the gun as I reloaded it. A very intimidating noise, challenging me to keep going. Sweat formed on myself, and the tears I had long missed formed in my eyes.

My hands were shaking, but were suddenly steadied as I felt some help from some unknown force. I barely managed to look to the side, seeing a hand on mine, long black claws attached to it. A sob rose in my throat, and I let it out. A hand was also place on my head, and I assumed it was also belonging to the person with the claws.

This must be death. Or the devil if all the Christians are truly right. I choked on many other sobs, feeling doubt rise. It was too late though. I was sick of it. Any one of those people could have been my hero, but no they went a long with the crowd. Not one of them was shining for me like I had hoped in my earlier years of being teased.

My finger brushed the trigger. I finally built up myself for this. Death was coming, whether it led to burning fires or just emptiness. I chose this path. Not like anyone cared anyways.

I squeezed my eyes shut, so tight it stung. Then quickly placed my finger on the trigger. I pulled slightly. Boom. I wasn’t sure what happened. I wasn’t even sure if something DID happen. There was no pain and the hands were gone. Wait; there was a new feeling though. Something was wrapped around my wrist. I opened my eyes to see what was going on and saw something that surprised me indeed.

It was someone familiar. It wasn’t someone that had teased me though, so I don’t think it could be someone from school. The only family member I knew was my dad. So who was this mysterious boy standing in front of me? Holding my wrist, and pointing the gun away from my head?

A faint memory flooded my head. This was not a boy who had ever made fun of me, but he did go to my school. He was in fact quite popular, for he and his friends loved to tease each other, but he has quite a short temper. I guess that’s what people find fun about him sometimes.

So what was he doing here? Saving me? Someone he shouldn’t even know about? If you can call it saving. His face was drenched with just a little sweat, making him glisten. His brown hair hung before his baby blue eyes. There was something in those eyes. I’m not sure what. Concern? I think it was, the way his eyebrows were scrunched down.

“Don’t do that! Everyone deserves life! Don’t go throwing yours away!” He yelled at me. I blinked. This was the first time I experienced someone yelling at me out of anger. So this is what his wrath felt like. Tears were still flowing out of my eyes, and I think he thought he had made me cry.

A look of regret could be seen on his otherwise beautiful face, as she reached for mine with his free hand. I gasped, backing up a little, but I was cornered. His hand wiped under my eye, taking away the tears on his finger. “Now, now don’t cry. I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just saying. You shouldn’t do this.” He said softer this time.

I took a moment to stare at him. I wasn’t much to talk anyways, but he had me speechless. “Wh-why?” I managed to mutter, hearing my voice for the first time in awhile. A look in his eye told me I had flared his anger again.

“Why!? Are you stupid! Because, life is what god gives you! Second of all, no one wants you to die!” She yelled, putting his face closer to mind, enable to be more intimidating. I squeaked. He yanked the gun from my hand, and stood a few feet away. He scratched the back of his hair and grumbled to himself. “Well.. I don’t want you to die.” He muttered after finally looking back at me.

Now this was priceless. I knew now and then this had to be a joke. How cruel. Tears burst out of my eyes, a long with a wail. “How cruel! I hate you! I hate all of you! Why can’t you just let me die!? Why do you have to torture me!? There is no way you of all people would be saying this! Your horrible!!” I screamed. Uh oh. It was finally happening. I cracked, and was letting emotions flow. It hurt. It hurt so much.

“What in the world!?” He yelled right back at me. “Where did this come from!? Why wouldn’t I be saying it!?” He questioned, glaring at me.

I returned this glare behind tearful eyes. “B-Because your beautiful! And me I’m.. I’m Hideous!” I screamed. I never looked in the mirror anymore for this reason. Despite the thing I said earlier about not seeing anyone in the mirror. There was no truth behind that. I was to scared to look into the mirror. Scared to see this thing people called “Ugly.”

“Oh your so Freakin ridiculous!” He yelled back, surprising me slightly.

“Is that so!?” I questioned. “Ask all the people at school and you’ll have your answer!” I screamed, orange locks of my hair falling in front of me.

“Sarah.. Sarah your beautiful. They just don’t see you because of this all the time. This is why they call you ugly.” He pulled my hood off my head. And, he stared directly into my eyes. No sign of disgust was on his face. “Now come. Let’s make you feel better.” He said, holding his hand out towards me.

I hesitated. What gave me a reason to be sure, he was being honest. Yet, so much of my broken emotions yearned to take that hand. Slowly, I reached a pale hand towards his. Was this the right idea? I don’t know. But, it felt right. It felt like everything I had been missing. The reason I had been so empty, was gone and it stopped blocking out all these emotions.

Was this, this suicidal girl's hope?


A/N Wow.. I don't know what to say. This came out of nowhere. I guess it was a heart vomit. This is what comes from listening to depressing music, and really wanting to write. So, my only comment it: Wow. Oh wait. Also I didn't edit so I apologize for misspellings and improper grammer-C3

Aw, well, the ending was sweet... if this is ANYTHING AT ALL like your life, then I apologize, and let me say that anyone who treats you like this is a complete jacka**

Well, I'm glad. I don't know you personally, but you seem nice enough. You don't have any need for confidence problems x3