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 Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:59 am
please give honest criticism.
this is from the middle.
As I inch my way around, there seems to be peace, almost as if there is nothing alive, nothing here. Until I hear the sound of cooking. Someone’s in the kitchen! I creep towards the kitchen, and open the door. There is a man cooking at the stove. I try to inch past him, since I have to go through the kitchen. Oops, he heard me. He begins to walk towards me, with a greedy look in his eyes. I take out my pole, and ready myself for combat. With a lunge from him it starts,
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Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 2:55 pm
I couldn't tell what was going on. For instance, until you said something about the pole, I didn't even know that a.) the man was and enemy and b.) that there was fighting or any sort of serious issue at all.
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Princess Tessa of Sailand
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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 1:01 pm
Well, she did say it came from a dream, and you know how unpredictable those can be.
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